forgivetheinsubordination: (Archangel keeps watch.)
Garrus Vakarian ([personal profile] forgivetheinsubordination) wrote2037-04-27 09:49 pm
Entry tags:

IC Contact - Consignment


vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
(0) UNREAD MESSAGES

day 123

[personal profile] gottacatch 2015-05-20 08:06 pm (UTC)(link)
FROM: red@cdc.org

hi. i hope youve been okay garrus. i wanted to ask you about something. when we went outside camp together you talked about training. what were you thinking?

FROM: red@cdc.org

theres a lot of free time on the ship. feels longer than on the planet

[personal profile] gottacatch 2015-05-21 12:19 pm (UTC)(link)
FROM: red@cdc.org

decent?

FROM: red@cdc.org

actually decent sounds about right for me too

FROM: red@cdc.org

i tried the paintball gun game they did but i wasnt very good at it. can we do anything while were here? i saw a notice for a training room but its been closed since we got here

FROM: red@cdc.org

if you want to. i dont know if theres anything we can really do like this

[personal profile] gottacatch 2015-05-21 09:11 pm (UTC)(link)
FROM: red@cdc.org

i am. ill try and find it now. i can message you if i get lost

FROM: red@cdc.org

is it vr like virtual reality. i dont have to bring anything but charizard?

[personal profile] gottacatch 2015-05-21 10:51 pm (UTC)(link)
[ He thinks about sharing that he totally guessed that from video game magazines, but -- uh. He'll keep it to himself. ]

FROM: red@cdc.org

okay.
[ ... ] im fine if its just me without charizard for today. i know i wont always be able to have him with me

[ He can't remember if they ever discussed that (sure, about Charizard being a reliability flying off to help recruits by himself, of which Red hadn't been comfortable with), but it had been made more a possibility in the days since the last mission) ]

[personal profile] gottacatch 2015-05-21 11:09 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Give him a moment or so. ]

FROM: red@cdc.org

when i took part in the gun practice i had a hard time shooting the paint at people

FROM: red@cdc.org

i need to get over that

[personal profile] gottacatch 2015-05-21 11:29 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Ah. He should have asked about the targets looking like no type of creature after all.

But he didn't, for a reason. ]


FROM: red@cdc.org

see you soon


[ Maybe he should've anyway.

Red makes his way to the VR room by ways of maps and signs, feet in no hurry but not lagging. It's the before that keeps him longer, spending some time deliberating over whether to really leave Charizard behind or not (he can keep him in his ball, what if someone comes and takes him-) and trying to prepare himself in what's actually just standing there doing nothing.

The argument of being ready to kill isn't one he's yet finished having with himself, apparently.

Regardless, Red doesn't keep Garrus for long, and if the turian is there for him to approach, he'll get to hear the boy's voice loud to speak up first, his arms folding tightly under his chest. ]
Hey, Garrus! Do you have anything like virtual reality tech where you're from?

[ So how's the weather? ]

[personal profile] gottacatch 2015-05-22 12:30 am (UTC)(link)
[ It isn't as if this isn't unrelated to combat, but listening to Garrus talks makes him unable to connect it to what they've decided to do for training, and he even nods, thinking to himself about how cool it sounds. Who doesn't like leaderboards? It sounds like a video game that way.

His hands rub against his skin, but he doesn't delay in walking over at the offer with a light- ]
Sure.

[ Red figures, anyway, he means the console than to set up the simulation, to peer at whatever is visible on its screen. Which are... not what Red expects. The boy stares at the weird creative license on display. ]

Huh. [ He rocks once, from his toes to his heels. ] Is that what humans look like? [ a glance down at himself- ] I never noticed.

[personal profile] gottacatch 2015-05-22 02:37 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Red scoffs a laugh, he's smiling -- all of what he shouldn't be, but let him detach himself for a while longer, for however short-lived it is.

There's a moment before his answer to Garrus's question. ]


I don't know. [ He came here worried about that, and now that's his answer. ] Not everything's going to look human. But one day it may be humans, like me. [ His lips are thin, tightly pressed against each other between each pause. ] I still won't want to shoot it.

[ Another pause, and he asks in the same light voice: ] Think it matters? [ What it is, when his hands are going to be unsteady one way or another. ]

[personal profile] gottacatch 2015-05-24 03:57 pm (UTC)(link)
[ It should never be easy. Red doesn't look at Garrus, though he nods - and he'll follow with Garrus, but speaks up too. ]

I asked people about their worlds and where they come from. What killing meant to them. I was trying to find something to help. [ To swallow it down easier. In the end, he wasn't sure that he did. ] If I want to protect everyone, I need to do it. It doesn't matter if they deserve it.

[ His heart reminds him it's there as he speaks, even though he's simply saying aloud the truth of their situation. Simple, straightforward. And this time, he's more ready to deal with it than skirting around it as he did with Garrus back on Macha.

(And maybe today he's only something comparative to ready because he knows this won't be real.)

But Red's words don't stop. There's a moment, a space for a breath, before a memory that's been close to him for a while surfaces. He opens his mouth to tell it, a sudden need to have it be said as it enters his mind. ]


Did I tell you about the time I met a ghost? It was of a marowak -- a pokémon. She died when she fought back against people who were trying to take her and her child Cubone away. But she didn't stop there. She stayed in the tower scaring off anyone that came inside, because... the people who killed her were still inside.

She was protecting everyone. [ He can feel the moisture at the rims of his eyes. But he needs to finish, while his voice has lost its false composure, a volume higher than before. That pokémon was strong. Her story deserved to be told. ] Marokwak... that mother, she was still protecting Cubone even after death. She didn't want anyone else to die.

[ His breath in is sharp, rattling in his mouth and down through his throat, and finally Red wipes at his face with the back of a hand. That was all there was to it, all the words he had to say. How little it helped to say it doesn't matter (he feels sick, he's really going to do this) -- like Garrus said, killing should never be easy.

Another breath in, out. Each one visible by his body. But Red doesn't turn, and he won't. ]


They can haunt me.

[personal profile] gottacatch 2015-05-25 02:58 pm (UTC)(link)
[ The closeness of the turian at his level doesn't bother Red, the boy stopping as soon as Garrus kneels down in front of him, not flinching either from the hand. He keeps his reddening eyes on the face, having nowhere else he wants to put them, nothing he wants to hide when he holds no shame for his misery, though his lips do squeeze and his head dips when Garrus speaks about protection. He's not so sure if strength will be enough to protect everyone, but - something like that would be nice.

His gazes back up to Garrus's face to the end, and he nods. ]


I don't want them to suffer. [ And never has, but it's a different kind of tune from all the times before. The next part he can't say with his eyes open (to have another pair looking back), the last few words being carried out by his breath: ] I want it to be painless.

[ He breathes in after, gazing off when he sees once more. Whatever control he can keep on himself, he wants to keep it, though it doesn't stop a tear from rolling to his mouth.

Red puts a hand on the one that sits on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze before walking to the way that Garrus had gestured before. Looking at the selection he picks out compact gauss gun without much decision, turning back around with it in his hold, level to his stomach. ]


This is the one I have.

[personal profile] gottacatch 2015-05-30 10:51 pm (UTC)(link)
[ Sit -- Red will sit, somewhere, right where he is if all there is is ground. That doesn't bother him, and when he does he's still carrying that something heavy in him. Harder now to act so casual or act at all as anything but the boy he is. Breathing, allowing the time granted to continue to try and steady his emotions through his breathing.

Red doesn't actually expect to be waited on to copy - but he will as soon as he realises, fumbling some for the slide lock that allows separation with a weapon than feels stronger than his own hands (how come? aren't they meant to be in a simulation room now...?). ]


You respect it?

[ There's some surprise in the question. ]

[personal profile] gottacatch 2015-06-05 03:06 am (UTC)(link)
[ When Garrus puts it like that, it makes the weapon in his hand - being pulled apart into a useless shell, but still a weapon - all that more of a foreign, unnatural thing in his hold, makes him want to be that more distant from it. ]

How? How do you respect something... just made to kill?

[ He's still copying, laying out each piece as Garrus does. Near symmetric, but that much care isn't given. ]

[personal profile] gottacatch 2015-06-08 05:05 am (UTC)(link)
...I guess.

[ At least, he's trying, even if he doesn't sound so sure. But comparing a predator to a gun, that sort of situation... ]

Isn't that just safety?

(no subject)

[personal profile] gottacatch - 2015-06-09 16:31 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] gottacatch - 2015-06-10 15:32 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] gottacatch - 2015-06-11 08:52 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] gottacatch - 2015-06-17 16:27 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] gottacatch - 2015-06-22 11:32 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] gottacatch - 2015-06-25 16:00 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] gottacatch - 2015-06-25 22:25 (UTC) - Expand

(no subject)

[personal profile] gottacatch - 2015-06-26 16:38 (UTC) - Expand