Garrus Vakarian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
forgivetheinsubordination) wrote2037-04-27 09:49 pm
forgivetheinsubordination) wrote2037-04-27 09:49 pm
Entry tags:
IC Contact - Consignment
vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
(0) UNREAD MESSAGES
vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
(0) UNREAD MESSAGES
[Doesn't like octopus. Garrus is going to need to find out more about that, but later.]
Yeah. First mission for all of the recruits. There weren't any from earlier ones. Never figured out if that meant anything.
[But it's something that stands out. The Neheda had to have recruits before; this group has been a crew for a while. What happened there?]
Three drop points, like Macha. One dealt with bugs, the Shai, like we had butterflies. One had sea creatures, land sharks, that was my group, like another here had a centipede. Third on Ajna had wolves that were mist, able to hide and vanish and reform.
[Which doesn't line up with the third group here, but oh well.]
Ice, snow, not a whole lot of foliage. Not a lot of elevation, either. I mean, some, but not like here.
Yeah. First mission for all of the recruits. There weren't any from earlier ones. Never figured out if that meant anything.
[But it's something that stands out. The Neheda had to have recruits before; this group has been a crew for a while. What happened there?]
Three drop points, like Macha. One dealt with bugs, the Shai, like we had butterflies. One had sea creatures, land sharks, that was my group, like another here had a centipede. Third on Ajna had wolves that were mist, able to hide and vanish and reform.
[Which doesn't line up with the third group here, but oh well.]
Ice, snow, not a whole lot of foliage. Not a lot of elevation, either. I mean, some, but not like here.
Sounds like the kind of place I'd hate.
[Had hated. There'd been a him during Ajna mission, or so he'd been told. But that's a separate mystery he's not yet willing to dive too far into.]
Did the instructors have you all split up into teams right from the start?
[Had hated. There'd been a him during Ajna mission, or so he'd been told. But that's a separate mystery he's not yet willing to dive too far into.]
Did the instructors have you all split up into teams right from the start?
[It had been the sort of place Garrus hated.]
Yeah. We landed on the ground with colors on our cuffs. Didn't know what they meant, then, but we had them. What we didn't have were active translators. So the whole stretch of fighting our way to the rendezvous point was accompanied by a lot of guessing and a lot of gestures.
Ghost had been lazy, apparently.
Yeah. We landed on the ground with colors on our cuffs. Didn't know what they meant, then, but we had them. What we didn't have were active translators. So the whole stretch of fighting our way to the rendezvous point was accompanied by a lot of guessing and a lot of gestures.
Ghost had been lazy, apparently.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
If my guess is right, we're gonna be hurt, and it's gonna be bad.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Please get near there, or be with someone who can get you there.
[Spirits. Tsuna's actually been trying and now this? Garrus doesn't know how he can help the boy, how he can keep Tsuna from breaking, and his heart aches.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Please.
If my guess is right, we're gonna be hurt, and it's gonna be bad.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Please get near there, or be with someone who can get you there.
[Spirits. Tsuna's actually been trying and now this? Garrus doesn't know how he can help the boy, how he can keep Tsuna from breaking, and his heart aches.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Please.
FROM: bellic.niko@cdc.org
Hey, man. How bad is it? You still around?
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I'm not dead, if that's what you're asking. Gonna take more than that to kill me.
[You hear that, Ghost?]
I'm not dead, if that's what you're asking. Gonna take more than that to kill me.
[You hear that, Ghost?]
FROM: bellic.niko@cdc.org
[He doesn't know how Garrus is taking on being on this side of doing the dirty business of others.]
They know this already. That is why you are not dead. They still need the things and work you can give them, and you did not break your contract.
But not dead is not the same is okay.
But not dead is not the same is okay.
[He doesn't know how Garrus is taking on being on this side of doing the dirty business of others.]
[The response is a long time in coming. Oh, they know he's not okay. He hasn't been subtle there. But he hasn't exactly typed out the words yet, either.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Not dead is about all I can say, right now.
[He's angry and in pain. And not sure if people are judging the list or going by what they know of him. Last time he'd been moved around on a list they'd gone by what they knew. All he can hope is that this time is the same.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Be better if I got this.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Not dead is about all I can say, right now.
[He's angry and in pain. And not sure if people are judging the list or going by what they know of him. Last time he'd been moved around on a list they'd gone by what they knew. All he can hope is that this time is the same.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Be better if I got this.
FROM: devan.isha@cdc.org
You are so terribly single-minded.
FROM: devan.isha@cdc.org
I never gave a picture. I simply painted around what was already there. It's not so hard to learn how people work.
You are so terribly single-minded.
FROM: devan.isha@cdc.org
I never gave a picture. I simply painted around what was already there. It's not so hard to learn how people work.
FROM: bellic.niko@cdc.org
[It's as good an excuse as any.]
Let me come by. I want to talk about what happened to Tali. And that Erin is not back to me yet. But this allows few words.
[It's as good an excuse as any.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Please. I asked Shepard to check on her but I haven't heard how she's doing yet. Tali, I mean. I haven't heard from Erin yet either, though. Rover 002.
Please. I asked Shepard to check on her but I haven't heard how she's doing yet. Tali, I mean. I haven't heard from Erin yet either, though. Rover 002.
[Niko doesn't respond, but rather heads over to Garrus's rover in a uniform that is not spattered with Quarrian blood. When he reaches the Rover, he does the awkward thing of knocking. And if that isn't sad enough, even after this horrific experience his questioning call of-] Hello? [-is a strange break to the situation.]
What. I like charades as much as the next conscripted murderer [which is to say no he actually hates charades but] but I'm beginning to question if you're really still alive. Can I be sure all you seniors aren't just ghosts from bullshit past?
[He waves his hand in front of Garrus's face.]
How many fingers am I holding up?
[All of them? This is not how you detect a poltergeist...]
[He waves his hand in front of Garrus's face.]
How many fingers am I holding up?
[All of them? This is not how you detect a poltergeist...]
[It takes a few moments for Garrus to get to the door. He's not moving all that fast or well, but he gets there and holds it open for the guy to come inside.]
Hey, Niko. Pull up a chair. Make yourself at home, as humans say.
[His voice is tired, subharmonics a low rumble.]
How's Tali?
Hey, Niko. Pull up a chair. Make yourself at home, as humans say.
[His voice is tired, subharmonics a low rumble.]
How's Tali?
Yeah. [He said in a tone just a touch lower than his usual rambling thing. He sat down, plopping what sounded like dead weight onto the first sturdy butt supporting surface he could find.]
She's not good. She came to my rover, said something was going to happen. I told her that I was not surprised. Then she just... She tore off her mask so I think she might take a little longer than some to recover. I took her to Shepard.
[His moron brain had been basically considering her a playmate, and his playmate suffered terribly. But he realizes this description is ridiculous.]
Let me guess. Even if you're recovering, you are feeling taken advantage of. You gave your all, you have no escape. [He knows that Garrus has been giving his all, still nobly minded. He thinks its how a man like him must have been coping with this lifestyle.]
She's not good. She came to my rover, said something was going to happen. I told her that I was not surprised. Then she just... She tore off her mask so I think she might take a little longer than some to recover. I took her to Shepard.
[His moron brain had been basically considering her a playmate, and his playmate suffered terribly. But he realizes this description is ridiculous.]
Let me guess. Even if you're recovering, you are feeling taken advantage of. You gave your all, you have no escape. [He knows that Garrus has been giving his all, still nobly minded. He thinks its how a man like him must have been coping with this lifestyle.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I snipe, Devan. I make a nest, I wait for my target, I take it out. Single-minded is what I know. Hell, even when I was a vigilante I would hunt one target down and take it out.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I know I need to adapt. And I know how some people work. Thugs. Slavers. Mercs. Saboteurs, drug dealers, the people who seek to harm others.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Maybe if I start to look at them that way, it'll start to make sense.
I snipe, Devan. I make a nest, I wait for my target, I take it out. Single-minded is what I know. Hell, even when I was a vigilante I would hunt one target down and take it out.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I know I need to adapt. And I know how some people work. Thugs. Slavers. Mercs. Saboteurs, drug dealers, the people who seek to harm others.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Maybe if I start to look at them that way, it'll start to make sense.
[Garrus bats Zelos' hand away weakly. It hurts, but he doesn't get what Zelos is on.]
Nobody who is dead feels pain.
[And he's felt a lot today.]
Nobody who is dead feels pain.
[And he's felt a lot today.]
[Her mask. Shit. But of course she'd taken it off, because she hadn't been able to breathe, and she hadn't been in her rover which means no air purification... Garrus' eyes close. Tali will be ill. There's no way around it. She's been tortured and now she'll be sick on top of it, possibly dangerously ill, and what even had she done?
When he opens his eyes again, when he looks back at Niko, there's anger in them.]
I have always given my all.
[There's an edge to his voice now, subharmonics low and angry. With a little prep, maybe he could have held his temper in check, but they've done this to Tali. To one of his dearest friends.]
When he opens his eyes again, when he looks back at Niko, there's anger in them.]
I have always given my all.
[There's an edge to his voice now, subharmonics low and angry. With a little prep, maybe he could have held his temper in check, but they've done this to Tali. To one of his dearest friends.]
They don't want your all. They want what they want from you, and that is it.
Chains of command are easy enough to understand for police, for military. This almost works like a crime business, in that it is a business and it deals in death. There's a chain of command, but every link is allowed to kill or harm someone under them to keep business going. To make examples when results are not to liking. It is just how it works. You didn't fuck up, you just didn't come back with anything they wanted.
[He pulls out his water bottle to have a drink, and then squints at it.] I am sorry you had to get caught up in this. I kept wondering what it would look like for other people to go through this shit and now I hate to see it.
Chains of command are easy enough to understand for police, for military. This almost works like a crime business, in that it is a business and it deals in death. There's a chain of command, but every link is allowed to kill or harm someone under them to keep business going. To make examples when results are not to liking. It is just how it works. You didn't fuck up, you just didn't come back with anything they wanted.
[He pulls out his water bottle to have a drink, and then squints at it.] I am sorry you had to get caught up in this. I kept wondering what it would look like for other people to go through this shit and now I hate to see it.
[Didn't come back with anything they wanted. That puts it into a whole other perspective. His mission had been recon. Explore, get useful intel. What he found, then, hadn't been useful enough. Hadn't been what the CDC wanted.
Garrus looks past Niko. He had failed, in that case. But still, the fault of the failure doesn't just lie with him. He hadn't brought back the right sort of intel, but they hadn't said what they'd been looking for. What counted as useful.]
Crime business.
[It makes a cold sense as well. The CDC might lash out at the instructors at any time, so they could lash out below them. Honey's right in thinking that she's a threat to Neheda, Neheda's right in thinking she's a threat to Honey. And the little people, so to speak, would always pay. He's seen merc groups, plenty of them. If he applies that to this... And of course they treasure their info then, too. Because that's power, if everything's cutthroat.
He's working for people in the business of genocide. Why didn't he see this sooner? As soon as he asks himself that, though, Garrus has an answer.
He hadn't wanted to.
He hadn't wanted to be entrapped by people who would do this, give directions of "gather info" and then lash out when it wasn't the intel they wanted. He hadn't wanted to believe that's what he was stuck in, that's what could destroy his world. Protection is something he could believe in, and something that probably most people on Green could, and so of course that's what they'd been told.
He's been such a fool. There's still a tiny hope left, that maybe a couple of the people in charge care. Two. Warriorhead and Armada. After all, Warriorhead could have killed him, had set him back on a path to safety even before that. Armada... Garrus still wants to trust him. He's aware of that, that it's desire and maybe not entirely logical, but he can't let go of it yet.]
It is fear and intimidation.
Garrus looks past Niko. He had failed, in that case. But still, the fault of the failure doesn't just lie with him. He hadn't brought back the right sort of intel, but they hadn't said what they'd been looking for. What counted as useful.]
Crime business.
[It makes a cold sense as well. The CDC might lash out at the instructors at any time, so they could lash out below them. Honey's right in thinking that she's a threat to Neheda, Neheda's right in thinking she's a threat to Honey. And the little people, so to speak, would always pay. He's seen merc groups, plenty of them. If he applies that to this... And of course they treasure their info then, too. Because that's power, if everything's cutthroat.
He's working for people in the business of genocide. Why didn't he see this sooner? As soon as he asks himself that, though, Garrus has an answer.
He hadn't wanted to.
He hadn't wanted to be entrapped by people who would do this, give directions of "gather info" and then lash out when it wasn't the intel they wanted. He hadn't wanted to believe that's what he was stuck in, that's what could destroy his world. Protection is something he could believe in, and something that probably most people on Green could, and so of course that's what they'd been told.
He's been such a fool. There's still a tiny hope left, that maybe a couple of the people in charge care. Two. Warriorhead and Armada. After all, Warriorhead could have killed him, had set him back on a path to safety even before that. Armada... Garrus still wants to trust him. He's aware of that, that it's desire and maybe not entirely logical, but he can't let go of it yet.]
It is fear and intimidation.
FROM: vasneema.talizorah@cdc.org
I'd tell you Im sorry, but...
[The implication is 'but I'm not sorry'. In truth, though, she is. She knows just how bad moving around is right now. Like trying to lift a completed jigsaw puzzle in your bare hands and feeling like it's on the brink of crumbling.
There's a moment before she opens the door, and when she does, it's to beckon him in quickly and close the door behind him. The reason for that is immediately apparent - she's wearing a uniform shirt that's slightly too big, but it doesn't hide her bare right hand, or that the whole suit arm is gone. It definitely doesn't hide that her face mask is off.]
So. [Her voice is raw and sounds tired as hell, but she's managed a small grin.] How's your day been?
I'd tell you Im sorry, but...
[The implication is 'but I'm not sorry'. In truth, though, she is. She knows just how bad moving around is right now. Like trying to lift a completed jigsaw puzzle in your bare hands and feeling like it's on the brink of crumbling.
There's a moment before she opens the door, and when she does, it's to beckon him in quickly and close the door behind him. The reason for that is immediately apparent - she's wearing a uniform shirt that's slightly too big, but it doesn't hide her bare right hand, or that the whole suit arm is gone. It definitely doesn't hide that her face mask is off.]
So. [Her voice is raw and sounds tired as hell, but she's managed a small grin.] How's your day been?
[ by the time she gathers up the extraneous plantlife and makes her way to Garrus's current location, she can firmly say nothing is really sunny about it. low light, a general sense of calm that's almost at odds with the rest of things lately. it's like moving through a mental fog for her, and she pushes it back, letting the soft glows of native life and the soft glows of technology all mingle together into some vague, cohesive whole. ]
I did say during the light, but I'm not sure we'll find much of that today.
I did say during the light, but I'm not sure we'll find much of that today.
It's been great. Got a view of the forest floor I've never seen before. Picked a flower.
[He enters as quickly as possible despite the aches and pains. It's important, when her face mask is off.]
Reconnected with myself. Got in touch with my organs and blood in a way I hadn't imagined would ever happen. Even just took some time and stopped breathing, letting the whole world wash over me.
[It takes some effort to sink into the chair and not just collapse and risk falling over, but he doesn't want to be on the ground again so he manages.]
I would recommend it to absolutely no one. You?
[He enters as quickly as possible despite the aches and pains. It's important, when her face mask is off.]
Reconnected with myself. Got in touch with my organs and blood in a way I hadn't imagined would ever happen. Even just took some time and stopped breathing, letting the whole world wash over me.
[It takes some effort to sink into the chair and not just collapse and risk falling over, but he doesn't want to be on the ground again so he manages.]
I would recommend it to absolutely no one. You?
So I guess you really did make it from then to now despite it all.
[He drops his hand.]
Was it that bad?
[He drops his hand.]
Was it that bad?
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