Garrus Vakarian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
forgivetheinsubordination) wrote2037-04-27 09:49 pm
forgivetheinsubordination) wrote2037-04-27 09:49 pm
Entry tags:
IC Contact - Consignment
vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
(0) UNREAD MESSAGES
vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
(0) UNREAD MESSAGES
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Somehow I'm not comforted by that.
Somehow I'm not comforted by that.
[He realizes he's explaining this wrong and his mandibles draw in to his face. Or maybe he's explaining it right and she's angry anyway, he's not sure. But he doesn't want her to be angry.]
He doesn't want something exclusive.
[Every time he says it out loud, he has to confront how poor a decision it sounds all over again. He'd been pretty sure that Noh really cared, that Garrus really mattered to him, but he's seeing the Kree spread himself thin and Garrus is starting to have some doubts. He doesn't like the doubts.
He wants Noh, he wants this to work. They just need to find some time that isn't chaos to talk and reconnect, he thinks. Macha's been a mess. They've got to be due for a break sometime here. A break, time to be the two of them.]
He's not ready for that. Don't know... [Garrus takes a breath.] Don't know if he will be, or when.
He doesn't want something exclusive.
[Every time he says it out loud, he has to confront how poor a decision it sounds all over again. He'd been pretty sure that Noh really cared, that Garrus really mattered to him, but he's seeing the Kree spread himself thin and Garrus is starting to have some doubts. He doesn't like the doubts.
He wants Noh, he wants this to work. They just need to find some time that isn't chaos to talk and reconnect, he thinks. Macha's been a mess. They've got to be due for a break sometime here. A break, time to be the two of them.]
He's not ready for that. Don't know... [Garrus takes a breath.] Don't know if he will be, or when.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
How many times have you stolen the Normandy now?
How many times have you stolen the Normandy now?
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Half-points, since you weren't exactly acting as an alliance officer while working with them.
Half-points, since you weren't exactly acting as an alliance officer while working with them.
[To say he's surprised to hear that from Garrus is hard to say. To hear it? No. But to be said to him? Yes. But it's a useful thing to hear. Which is why he dislikes hearing it the most. He keeps that feeling from his face. He's just. Well. A worthless guy, hm.]
Then don't let it be meaningless. [He pauses. Looks up. Waves an hand.] Nevermind, that's too bold for even me to say. I would say you're at least considered valuable if this is the path they've chosen.
Then don't let it be meaningless. [He pauses. Looks up. Waves an hand.] Nevermind, that's too bold for even me to say. I would say you're at least considered valuable if this is the path they've chosen.
[Garrus nods once. That makes sense. And it's also weirdly encouraging. They can be eroded, but here's Niko after similar dealings and he's not gone.]
Really appreciate it, Niko. The talk, and the story.
[There's a beat as he starts to relax and his mind starts to wander, and then Garrus has one more thing to say.]
Later, I'd like to know how close you and Tali are.
[Because the fact that she chose Niko to go to... well. Maybe there's nothing there, but maybe there's something.]
Really appreciate it, Niko. The talk, and the story.
[There's a beat as he starts to relax and his mind starts to wander, and then Garrus has one more thing to say.]
Later, I'd like to know how close you and Tali are.
[Because the fact that she chose Niko to go to... well. Maybe there's nothing there, but maybe there's something.]
I was drunk when I showed her my stomach. I didn't do anything more than that. I promise.
[And with that he lifts his hands defensively, and backs out of the rover.]
[And with that he lifts his hands defensively, and backs out of the rover.]
What, the huskberries? Yeah, they turn your mouth blue like that booze on Illium.
[She changes tack accordingly, taking advantage of the lighter vegetation surrounding the camp to cover ground - if they're heading a little more south, might as well do it before they get too deep into the treeline to do so effectively.]
But apparently they're antibacterial too. Which, I'm guessing, is probably why Anders wants them - unless he's just really trying to liven up medical. [Is that joke in bad taste given how many of them had recently been in there? Does it matter if it is? As if they've ever treated this kind of bullshit with anything but a kind of even handed humor.]
[She changes tack accordingly, taking advantage of the lighter vegetation surrounding the camp to cover ground - if they're heading a little more south, might as well do it before they get too deep into the treeline to do so effectively.]
But apparently they're antibacterial too. Which, I'm guessing, is probably why Anders wants them - unless he's just really trying to liven up medical. [Is that joke in bad taste given how many of them had recently been in there? Does it matter if it is? As if they've ever treated this kind of bullshit with anything but a kind of even handed humor.]
Oh. I see. [She looks quite taken aback and her voice is uncertain enough that it should really be clear that she doesn't see.]
Well, I thought you meant you'd... I don't know, caught him with somebody. [She looks down at her drink for a moment. Is the honesty better? She's not sure.]
Maybe I'm not the best person to give romantic advice. [Crushes and gossip and romance vids are not a genuine foundation in these things.] But I do know that loving somebody and feeling like you're not enough for them is hell.
[She takes another drink.] If you can avoid that, do it. Any way you can.
Well, I thought you meant you'd... I don't know, caught him with somebody. [She looks down at her drink for a moment. Is the honesty better? She's not sure.]
Maybe I'm not the best person to give romantic advice. [Crushes and gossip and romance vids are not a genuine foundation in these things.] But I do know that loving somebody and feeling like you're not enough for them is hell.
[She takes another drink.] If you can avoid that, do it. Any way you can.
Antibacterial and blue. Maybe he wants them for both reasons. Personal amusement and helping out. Can't put anything past doctors.
[The humor is slow to return, but he's trying.]
Imagine if Chakwas had access to that. We'd always be wearing blue.
[And yet it's exhausting to joke around right now. Garrus sighs.]
Medical's a mess, I take it.
[The humor is slow to return, but he's trying.]
Imagine if Chakwas had access to that. We'd always be wearing blue.
[And yet it's exhausting to joke around right now. Garrus sighs.]
Medical's a mess, I take it.
[Fair point, actually. She wasn't intrinsically against medical like some bullheaded marines she'd known - no point in getting fussy about standard checks, right? - but there wasn't any denying that it seemed like a large percentage of medical professionals (definitely in the service) took humor where they could find it. Or inflict it. Either or.]
Not as bad as you'd think, all things considered.
[Which is praise in her book.]
They've got a system down, even if it's running on a shoestring budget of supplies.
Not as bad as you'd think, all things considered.
[Which is praise in her book.]
They've got a system down, even if it's running on a shoestring budget of supplies.
Necessity. They're adapting. Adapting well, even, for the most part.
[Adrien's bought into the whole CDC thing, and Medical seems to be its own family, its own reinforcement. It makes sense. They have a shared purpose, something they can dedicate themselves to instead of having to dwell on the dirtier work of the CDC. How many will buy into the CDC's mission before they're at a point where they can even fight back? Which brings him to an interesting thought.]
No one Medical got hit with this, did they?
[Adrien's bought into the whole CDC thing, and Medical seems to be its own family, its own reinforcement. It makes sense. They have a shared purpose, something they can dedicate themselves to instead of having to dwell on the dirtier work of the CDC. How many will buy into the CDC's mission before they're at a point where they can even fight back? Which brings him to an interesting thought.]
No one Medical got hit with this, did they?
Doesn't seem like it. But I don't really know what percentage of them was off on this mystery mission you guys ran compared to everyone else.
[Because it might be gag ordered against her, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that much. Hard to miss half the rovers and a big chunk of camp missing; harder still to pretend she didn't know anything when a certain subset of those who'd gone came back to get smacked on the nose for-- something. Something apparently not a big enough deal for anyone to really figure out why they were getting kicked in the proverbial teeth.]
Could just be luck.
[Or one out of a hundred tiny details that didn't add up.]
[Because it might be gag ordered against her, but it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that much. Hard to miss half the rovers and a big chunk of camp missing; harder still to pretend she didn't know anything when a certain subset of those who'd gone came back to get smacked on the nose for-- something. Something apparently not a big enough deal for anyone to really figure out why they were getting kicked in the proverbial teeth.]
Could just be luck.
[Or one out of a hundred tiny details that didn't add up.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Looks like Reiner and Xion are both napping. Haven't seen the former in several days, the latter in a couple. Wish there was an easy way of keeping track of who is in stasis and when.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Unless you've got some sort of other news on Reiner having some task that's kept him busy.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
When haven't I taken care of what I needed to, Rogers? The list was bullshit.
[Someone... is a little touchy. Sorry, Steve.]
Looks like Reiner and Xion are both napping. Haven't seen the former in several days, the latter in a couple. Wish there was an easy way of keeping track of who is in stasis and when.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Unless you've got some sort of other news on Reiner having some task that's kept him busy.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
When haven't I taken care of what I needed to, Rogers? The list was bullshit.
[Someone... is a little touchy. Sorry, Steve.]
Maybe. Maybe not.
[He hadn't failed to follow his orders, Armada said. But he'd still been punished. And he'd pissed off Neheda by not catering to her little game. It doesn't necessarily mean anything, but it's clear she's petty.]
You telling me that while we were gone you didn't take a walk around the camp and note who wasn't here? I mean, sure, sometimes it's hard to tell, but I'm a little surprised.
[If a mission had been gag ordered against him, he would have been looking for everyone, noting, watching. And they'd been gone for almost three Macha days.]
Were things going on in the camp?
[He hadn't failed to follow his orders, Armada said. But he'd still been punished. And he'd pissed off Neheda by not catering to her little game. It doesn't necessarily mean anything, but it's clear she's petty.]
You telling me that while we were gone you didn't take a walk around the camp and note who wasn't here? I mean, sure, sometimes it's hard to tell, but I'm a little surprised.
[If a mission had been gag ordered against him, he would have been looking for everyone, noting, watching. And they'd been gone for almost three Macha days.]
Were things going on in the camp?
Mm, that's not what I mean. I pinged IDs, but half of them come back and half don't. So as far as I know [officially speaking?], I can't tell you who was running what. [She hefts her wrist cuff and taps her finger across it - the low, steely grey light pulses from the touch. Tap-tap-tap.
She can speculate all she wants, but she's not going to say anything finite out loud. Less for her sake and more for anyone else's - thus far she's done a pretty decent job of poking the line, of asking the kind of questions that gets her just enough intel to operate by without screwing whoever she's asking over; if she sounds too informed, what's to stop the brass from hunting through surveillance and finding someone to blame it on? Because it's already been proven they don't need much of a reason to rake recruits over the coals, hasn't it?]
But no. Camp was quiet when Grey got back to it.
She can speculate all she wants, but she's not going to say anything finite out loud. Less for her sake and more for anyone else's - thus far she's done a pretty decent job of poking the line, of asking the kind of questions that gets her just enough intel to operate by without screwing whoever she's asking over; if she sounds too informed, what's to stop the brass from hunting through surveillance and finding someone to blame it on? Because it's already been proven they don't need much of a reason to rake recruits over the coals, hasn't it?]
But no. Camp was quiet when Grey got back to it.
Mm.
[And Grey had been out of the camp when the flurry of packing and getting out of camp had been going on. Garrus had seen more than a few Medical people prepping, but at the same time he hadn't stopped and asked questions about where they were off to. There hadn't been time.]
How'd Grey's mission go? Got my rope back from Ino, but I haven't heard much about it. Did it...
[Garrus trails off. He can't really ask if it feels like it had a clear point, because that might imply something about his mission. He looks down at his feet as they keep walking. All of these politics and snarls and loops, and what, he's supposed to become good with them? At them? All to avoid punishment?]
In the end, everything's grey, isn't it.
[Except it's not even that grey. There's a whole lot of darker shades going on and he's getting tired of them.]
[And Grey had been out of the camp when the flurry of packing and getting out of camp had been going on. Garrus had seen more than a few Medical people prepping, but at the same time he hadn't stopped and asked questions about where they were off to. There hadn't been time.]
How'd Grey's mission go? Got my rope back from Ino, but I haven't heard much about it. Did it...
[Garrus trails off. He can't really ask if it feels like it had a clear point, because that might imply something about his mission. He looks down at his feet as they keep walking. All of these politics and snarls and loops, and what, he's supposed to become good with them? At them? All to avoid punishment?]
In the end, everything's grey, isn't it.
[Except it's not even that grey. There's a whole lot of darker shades going on and he's getting tired of them.]
Of course. There somewhere you'd like to start? About a year's worth of messages is... a lot.
[Then again, the demon might not even know where he wants to begin. You never know what you don't know, after all.]
Basically, if you've got a purpose in mind with it, might be able to figure out where to begin from there.
[Then again, the demon might not even know where he wants to begin. You never know what you don't know, after all.]
Basically, if you've got a purpose in mind with it, might be able to figure out where to begin from there.
[And the tenseness is clear. Garrus can't begin to understand why she'd been Greyed or why he'd been punished. She'd even been illustrating things for the team, which had been an easily forwarded-on sort of recon work.]
It seems extremely stupid.
[Dumb. Ass-backwards, as humans say.]
The only thing they can get out of this is more fear and more control. And I hope that backfires on them.
[He's not really feeling generous right now.]
It seems extremely stupid.
[Dumb. Ass-backwards, as humans say.]
The only thing they can get out of this is more fear and more control. And I hope that backfires on them.
[He's not really feeling generous right now.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
You keep telling yourself that.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Gonna rest my eyes. Let me know if anything pans out. Or if Anders sets you on fire. Either way.
You keep telling yourself that.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Gonna rest my eyes. Let me know if anything pans out. Or if Anders sets you on fire. Either way.
[It went fine, all things considered. But how bad could they potentially screw up playing fetch? The apiary could've been a stumbling block, but in the end it was just time consuming - seventy two plus hours of listening to Zelos Wilder loving the sound of his own voice and tugging at an over grown moose to convince it to come back to camp with them. Simple stuff.
But she's betting the answer doesn't really matter - because they're all still around, for one, and no one on Grey ended up getting the shit kicked out of them. There are bigger things to focus on than how some rag tag team did picking crap up off the forest floor.]
If you want to look at it that way.
[Said in the distinct tones of someone who has either opted not to or is telling herself as much. She doesn't have time for that particular brand of self flagellation.]
But she's betting the answer doesn't really matter - because they're all still around, for one, and no one on Grey ended up getting the shit kicked out of them. There are bigger things to focus on than how some rag tag team did picking crap up off the forest floor.]
If you want to look at it that way.
[Said in the distinct tones of someone who has either opted not to or is telling herself as much. She doesn't have time for that particular brand of self flagellation.]
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