[It takes all of his willpower not to laugh. Instead, Garrus tilts his head and tries for a hurt tone of voice.]
I'm not... Are you saying I didn't do very well? That it's not... I tried. I...
[And then it's too much and he's snickering.]
No. No, Red. That's not what humans look like. But it's got some similarities. Bipedal, upright, two arms. Wanted to give you something with some familiarity, but not too much. Did you need it to be more human-looking?
[ Direct. To the point. She sees a lack in herself, and she strives to correct it. Whatever helps with survival... ]
Was there ever any doubt.
[ They've always been expendable. She's always been replaceable. Nothing in this world that isn't attempting to rule it really has a way of thinking ah, I am a loss that is without peer. Even those were often wrong. ]
Let's hope none of the planets on our list have residents wise enough to start aiming for the tech we don't take off.
[ Cuffs, translators... there are things that become obvious to the observant. The neraki haven't found those consistencies yet, but it doesn't stand to reason that no one ever will. ]
I don't plan on actually causing me or mine to get hurt. I don't want that either.
[There's nothing he can think of that would have caused this. Nothing he'd done, nowhere he'd faltered. The job had been given, he'd gone out and done it.]
If Armada was around... I'd at least have a chance at answers. There's no one else I can ask. Not about this. Angered Warriorhead, not even gonna give apologizing a chance until we know the end result with Armada. The rest? I'll get nothing.
[Maybe there still wouldn't be a difference. His trust in some of them caring has been shattered. They're isolating recruits, harming them. How can there possibly be any good from this?]
[ Red scoffs a laugh, he's smiling -- all of what he shouldn't be, but let him detach himself for a while longer, for however short-lived it is.
There's a moment before his answer to Garrus's question. ]
I don't know. [ He came here worried about that, and now that's his answer. ] Not everything's going to look human. But one day it may be humans, like me. [ His lips are thin, tightly pressed against each other between each pause. ] I still won't want to shoot it.
[ Another pause, and he asks in the same light voice: ] Think it matters? [ What it is, when his hands are going to be unsteady one way or another. ]
[ His reply is a murmur. He's trying to focus on the task at had - the shots won't be difficult. They're simply drifting, not trying to evade anything. He takes his first shot, then another. He's not hitting every one he takes, but he's hitting most of them.
[Not yet. On a very basic, fundamental level being on Grey has probably given her marginally better odds when it comes to dying in the field actually given the scale of their assignments has been 'glorified fetch' and playing with robot dogs. She can't see it doing her any good in the long run, but it's also not up to her. If doing what she deems necessary isn't enough to get her back into normal rotation, then fine. She just has to trust that if it comes time to move, the people she expects to be with her won't hang back because of the color on her CDC issue armband.
She cares more about that than the rest - rank or intel or being able to live with herself.]
[And see, that's the part that rankles. Shepard fixes him with a pointed look, something in her expression going flat as the line of her chin tips up - a minute kind of challenge.]
Do you really think Tali is the kind of person you need to worry about that with?
[The kind of person to feel any kind of loyalty to the sort of organization the CDC is or the people running it from the top down. Shepard doesn't care what comes out off Tali's mouth; it's going to take more than a name change to convince her that Tali's falling in line out of a sense of complacency or apathy. Not ever and especially not after what she'd seen at shuttle rendezvous with the neraki.]
[After the cuff punishment. When all Tali had been was a bundle of fear just wanting to avoid punishment again. When she'd clearly been desperate.]
Do you really think I spent so many years at C-Sec and can't figure out when someone's gonna recover easily and when someone might not? She was hurting, Shepard, and running scared. Believe me. I wouldn't worry about Tali without a damn good cause, and it was there.
[Tali's the kind of person who has wanted her homeworld back her whole life, who had it promised to her by her father... and has lost that father and knows that if she messes up Rannoch gets lost too. She's not fickle. But she's got a lot to lose and they'd but been in a great deal of pain that day.]
[erwin thinks about what garrus tells him about the instructors. he actually finds gliese and warriorhead similar in terms of their responses - what he's seen and heard, anyway - and as gliese is captain, that she never answers things satisfactorily doesn't really bother him as much considering she's not obligated to do that; and erwin himself has certainly been in the same position, so he's sort of more willing to let that pass. but armada, given that armada heads green, tends to have a more direct way of speaking, like dagger. and he's never found ghost to be cryptic, though he tends to omit a lot of things.
he's never spoken to gale, so he can't really comment on him.]
We'll do what we have to, either way. After two planets, I think people are more inclined to look after each other, given what we go through and what others have gone through. [an amused smile; curiously, he asks - ]
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