Garrus Vakarian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
forgivetheinsubordination) wrote2037-04-27 09:49 pm
forgivetheinsubordination) wrote2037-04-27 09:49 pm
Entry tags:
IC Contact - Consignment
vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
(0) UNREAD MESSAGES
vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
(0) UNREAD MESSAGES
[ Steve shows up a minute or two behind Garrus, spotting him quick and giving him a quick nod before heading over to the bar to grab something for himself - a beer, if just to have something in front of him. He brings it back to where Garrus is seated - he's not in civilian clothes, and the shield on his back has to be shoved between the chair and the wall so that he can sit.
It speaks to how he feels about the ship after the last time. ]
Starting slow?
[ He nods at the water, eyebrows raised. Garrus did mention he's done this a few times already. ]
It speaks to how he feels about the ship after the last time. ]
Starting slow?
[ He nods at the water, eyebrows raised. Garrus did mention he's done this a few times already. ]
[Last time on the ship, he'd taken off the armor, walked around in tunic and leggings. This time, he's of the same opinion as Steve. His juggernaut cuff is on his wrist even with his full armor on, breathing mask is in one of his armor's compartments, and he's got two guns strapped on. Maybe it's overkill. It's worth the risk.
Garrus' mandibles flare out at the question, though.]
Started two trips to the bar ago. Been drinking slow, so I'm not in any danger of being drunk, but gonna hit this before the next beer. Considering the last week or two, really not sure being buzzed is the way to go.
[Dagger's dead. Maybe none of the recruits are in Honey's sights, but he can't say he finds her altogether competent. She's young. Anything could happen. And he still believes as Crichton - that Honey was behind the shipping container and the deaths last time.
His voice is only lightly amused, though, not fully there. One of the last people they'd spoken about is dead now. Dead, and one of his young. They need a better way of keeping track of people. A better way to defend people.]
So. Social call? Need a recommendation for a neutral chirality beer that isn't lousy?
Garrus' mandibles flare out at the question, though.]
Started two trips to the bar ago. Been drinking slow, so I'm not in any danger of being drunk, but gonna hit this before the next beer. Considering the last week or two, really not sure being buzzed is the way to go.
[Dagger's dead. Maybe none of the recruits are in Honey's sights, but he can't say he finds her altogether competent. She's young. Anything could happen. And he still believes as Crichton - that Honey was behind the shipping container and the deaths last time.
His voice is only lightly amused, though, not fully there. One of the last people they'd spoken about is dead now. Dead, and one of his young. They need a better way of keeping track of people. A better way to defend people.]
So. Social call? Need a recommendation for a neutral chirality beer that isn't lousy?
Patience always does.
[Most of his attention is on the shots Pilot's taking. Several of his students hadn't done much work on their own; Pilot's clearly not one of them. Then again, Pilot has motivation.]
And it's showing. I think I could teach you to snipe.
[Not everyone could learn. Most would be, at best, decent shots with an assault rifle, able to mow down targets coming at them. Sniping takes more than knowing how to take the shot - it takes dedication and training so he knows when to take it.]
Can you try shooting two in a row? Line up both in your mind's eye, and then fire, one after the other.
[Most of his attention is on the shots Pilot's taking. Several of his students hadn't done much work on their own; Pilot's clearly not one of them. Then again, Pilot has motivation.]
And it's showing. I think I could teach you to snipe.
[Not everyone could learn. Most would be, at best, decent shots with an assault rifle, able to mow down targets coming at them. Sniping takes more than knowing how to take the shot - it takes dedication and training so he knows when to take it.]
Can you try shooting two in a row? Line up both in your mind's eye, and then fire, one after the other.
I don't know. I've heard the Qohol called a sister ship to the Neheda, but hadn't heard of the Almina until her destruction.
[Alliance. Agreements. Ties. They came expecting help, is what he figures, they had an understanding, and then they were betrayed. But he can't really say that out loud, can he? All he can do is figure that he and Sebastian are probably right about on the same page.]
The Almina was doomed the second the Bilchis knew about her. Maybe others knew that the Bilchis would know sooner or later.
[Alliance. Agreements. Ties. They came expecting help, is what he figures, they had an understanding, and then they were betrayed. But he can't really say that out loud, can he? All he can do is figure that he and Sebastian are probably right about on the same page.]
The Almina was doomed the second the Bilchis knew about her. Maybe others knew that the Bilchis would know sooner or later.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Yes. Really long legs, plenty of training in getting from one place to another.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Just don't ask me to dodge. Meet up with you at the rooms?
Yes. Really long legs, plenty of training in getting from one place to another.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Just don't ask me to dodge. Meet up with you at the rooms?
[Garrus studies Red for a few moments before finalizing his settings. The lip press, the tone of Red's voice, the boy is already going to be struggling.]
I think we start here. I think we start here, and then we see where we go. Should...
[He shakes his head.]
Was gonna say you should never want to shoot, but that's not quite right. Some people deserve it. Sometimes you have to shoot because others are gonna get hurt otherwise. But it should never get easy to take a life.
[A beat. It had gotten easy to take merc lives, terrorist lives. Killing reaper forces wasn't the same, they were already dead. But Garrus has grown immune to killing those that need killing. This speech isn't the first time he's been a hypocrite, and it won't be the last.]
Come on. Let's go in.
I think we start here. I think we start here, and then we see where we go. Should...
[He shakes his head.]
Was gonna say you should never want to shoot, but that's not quite right. Some people deserve it. Sometimes you have to shoot because others are gonna get hurt otherwise. But it should never get easy to take a life.
[A beat. It had gotten easy to take merc lives, terrorist lives. Killing reaper forces wasn't the same, they were already dead. But Garrus has grown immune to killing those that need killing. This speech isn't the first time he's been a hypocrite, and it won't be the last.]
Come on. Let's go in.
There was doubt because I wanted there to be doubt.
[He'd been an idiot. He'd trusted when he shouldn't have, just because he wanted to. He'll drop off the one toy he has for Armada later and be done. Finished. Let his instructor heal or not. Garrus didn't matter to him, why should he matter to Garrus?]
And I'm sure we're headed soon for a world with that sort. It's only going to get harder, yeah? Ajna's natives weren't sentient, Macha's weren't familiar with tech beyond basic weaponry. This next group... This next group is gonna notice everyone wearing the cuffs, I'm almost certain.
[He'd been an idiot. He'd trusted when he shouldn't have, just because he wanted to. He'll drop off the one toy he has for Armada later and be done. Finished. Let his instructor heal or not. Garrus didn't matter to him, why should he matter to Garrus?]
And I'm sure we're headed soon for a world with that sort. It's only going to get harder, yeah? Ajna's natives weren't sentient, Macha's weren't familiar with tech beyond basic weaponry. This next group... This next group is gonna notice everyone wearing the cuffs, I'm almost certain.
[ It should never be easy. Red doesn't look at Garrus, though he nods - and he'll follow with Garrus, but speaks up too. ]
I asked people about their worlds and where they come from. What killing meant to them. I was trying to find something to help. [ To swallow it down easier. In the end, he wasn't sure that he did. ] If I want to protect everyone, I need to do it. It doesn't matter if they deserve it.
[ His heart reminds him it's there as he speaks, even though he's simply saying aloud the truth of their situation. Simple, straightforward. And this time, he's more ready to deal with it than skirting around it as he did with Garrus back on Macha.
(And maybe today he's only something comparative to ready because he knows this won't be real.)
But Red's words don't stop. There's a moment, a space for a breath, before a memory that's been close to him for a while surfaces. He opens his mouth to tell it, a sudden need to have it be said as it enters his mind. ]
Did I tell you about the time I met a ghost? It was of a marowak -- a pokémon. She died when she fought back against people who were trying to take her and her child Cubone away. But she didn't stop there. She stayed in the tower scaring off anyone that came inside, because... the people who killed her were still inside.
She was protecting everyone. [ He can feel the moisture at the rims of his eyes. But he needs to finish, while his voice has lost its false composure, a volume higher than before. That pokémon was strong. Her story deserved to be told. ] Marokwak... that mother, she was still protecting Cubone even after death. She didn't want anyone else to die.
[ His breath in is sharp, rattling in his mouth and down through his throat, and finally Red wipes at his face with the back of a hand. That was all there was to it, all the words he had to say. How little it helped to say it doesn't matter (he feels sick, he's really going to do this) -- like Garrus said, killing should never be easy.
Another breath in, out. Each one visible by his body. But Red doesn't turn, and he won't. ]
They can haunt me.
I asked people about their worlds and where they come from. What killing meant to them. I was trying to find something to help. [ To swallow it down easier. In the end, he wasn't sure that he did. ] If I want to protect everyone, I need to do it. It doesn't matter if they deserve it.
[ His heart reminds him it's there as he speaks, even though he's simply saying aloud the truth of their situation. Simple, straightforward. And this time, he's more ready to deal with it than skirting around it as he did with Garrus back on Macha.
(And maybe today he's only something comparative to ready because he knows this won't be real.)
But Red's words don't stop. There's a moment, a space for a breath, before a memory that's been close to him for a while surfaces. He opens his mouth to tell it, a sudden need to have it be said as it enters his mind. ]
Did I tell you about the time I met a ghost? It was of a marowak -- a pokémon. She died when she fought back against people who were trying to take her and her child Cubone away. But she didn't stop there. She stayed in the tower scaring off anyone that came inside, because... the people who killed her were still inside.
She was protecting everyone. [ He can feel the moisture at the rims of his eyes. But he needs to finish, while his voice has lost its false composure, a volume higher than before. That pokémon was strong. Her story deserved to be told. ] Marokwak... that mother, she was still protecting Cubone even after death. She didn't want anyone else to die.
[ His breath in is sharp, rattling in his mouth and down through his throat, and finally Red wipes at his face with the back of a hand. That was all there was to it, all the words he had to say. How little it helped to say it doesn't matter (he feels sick, he's really going to do this) -- like Garrus said, killing should never be easy.
Another breath in, out. Each one visible by his body. But Red doesn't turn, and he won't. ]
They can haunt me.
FROM: kaburagi.kotetsu@cdc.org
yeah, well. sometimes people cant afford to watch their own backs but thats why we're around.
i guess its never been about making the job easier for me. i just wanna be sure im doing enough.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Not expecting it to ever be easy. I'd just like a higher success rate. Fewer losses.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Fewer inexplicable punishments out of nowhere.
[Because they followed their orders.]
Not expecting it to ever be easy. I'd just like a higher success rate. Fewer losses.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Fewer inexplicable punishments out of nowhere.
[Because they followed their orders.]
[Sometimes, in some ways, it hurts him, her position on Grey. She's one of his best friends, one of his oldest friends, and she's been punished for so long. Garrus doesn't know that there's anything she can do about it, though. He doesn't know if she can, not if she wants to. There are so many better ways to use her talents... then again, he feels the same way about his demotion. Sometimes it doesn't seem like the CDC really knows how to use its resources. At all.]
I hope it's not, Shepard. I really hope it's not. But even if it was, it's not like I have any real suggestions here. If I knew what they did, why, if I knew what was driving them...
[Because they're a company, but Garrus really doesn't think it's profit. He really doesn't.]
I hope it's not, Shepard. I really hope it's not. But even if it was, it's not like I have any real suggestions here. If I knew what they did, why, if I knew what was driving them...
[Because they're a company, but Garrus really doesn't think it's profit. He really doesn't.]
[They hurt him in their own ways, all of the young that are struggling to come to terms with what the CDC expects of them. And if Garrus could take their burden on his shoulders, if he could murder in their place, he would. None of them have that luxury.
Once the doors close behind them, Garrus is turning and kneeling, bringing himself down to eye level with Red and putting a hand on the boy's shoulder.]
They will. They'll haunt you. But you won't be alone in being haunted. We'll all carry the weight together.
[No, it wouldn't hit everyone this hard, and some wouldn't be effected at all. But it's better to say 'all' than 'most' or even 'some.' Red doesn't need precision, doesn't need names. He needs comfort. Knowing that the burden isn't all on his shoulders seems like it would be comforting.]
And one day, maybe, we'll be strong enough to protect everyone we want to protect.
[Garrus is proud of Red, though. Proud of the way the boy's changed his tune since their walk in the woods, proud of how he's grasped what this place is going to require of them. He's not trying to hide from it. He's seeing its cost, its reality, and bracing to take that on.]
I'll be with you. Every step of the way, as long as I have any say in the matter. We'll take it a step at a time, but we'll take those steps.
[A gesture has the different CDC-issued guns appear on racks, ready to be picked from. Garrus will let Red choose which one he'd chosen before, and he'll take the same one for ease of teaching.]
I'm glad you're here, Red.
Once the doors close behind them, Garrus is turning and kneeling, bringing himself down to eye level with Red and putting a hand on the boy's shoulder.]
They will. They'll haunt you. But you won't be alone in being haunted. We'll all carry the weight together.
[No, it wouldn't hit everyone this hard, and some wouldn't be effected at all. But it's better to say 'all' than 'most' or even 'some.' Red doesn't need precision, doesn't need names. He needs comfort. Knowing that the burden isn't all on his shoulders seems like it would be comforting.]
And one day, maybe, we'll be strong enough to protect everyone we want to protect.
[Garrus is proud of Red, though. Proud of the way the boy's changed his tune since their walk in the woods, proud of how he's grasped what this place is going to require of them. He's not trying to hide from it. He's seeing its cost, its reality, and bracing to take that on.]
I'll be with you. Every step of the way, as long as I have any say in the matter. We'll take it a step at a time, but we'll take those steps.
[A gesture has the different CDC-issued guns appear on racks, ready to be picked from. Garrus will let Red choose which one he'd chosen before, and he'll take the same one for ease of teaching.]
I'm glad you're here, Red.
[He watches Erwin for a few moments after he's spoken, noting that the guy doesn't give his impression of the instructors back. Interesting. It's not like he's a fan of this punishment, so Garrus doesn't think Erwin is the sort to go report what Garrus has said, but there's a lack of comparison there. It feels like something Garrus should keep in the back of his mind.
He's also not as confident in everyone looking after each other. In every group you have your ambitious ones, and what's more is this punishment has just singled out a fair portion of the camp, has just highlighted their names and some people will edge away from that.]
The CDC? As home? When I'm the only turian in this crew and they'll drop me on a whim?
[Garrus snorts.]
No. Do you?
He's also not as confident in everyone looking after each other. In every group you have your ambitious ones, and what's more is this punishment has just singled out a fair portion of the camp, has just highlighted their names and some people will edge away from that.]
The CDC? As home? When I'm the only turian in this crew and they'll drop me on a whim?
[Garrus snorts.]
No. Do you?
[It's not easy being a dorito.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
See you there.
[Garrus finishes his snack and heads over, putting his guns off to the side once inside the open VR room. They won't need them for the course, but he's really not interested in walking through the corridors of this ship without them.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
See you there.
[Garrus finishes his snack and heads over, putting his guns off to the side once inside the open VR room. They won't need them for the course, but he's really not interested in walking through the corridors of this ship without them.]
[It's not hard to pick up on Garrus' caution, and it makes Ratchet realise he should probably be exercising a bit more himself. He resists asking any further about the officer in question; it's not the time and more importantly, it is definitely not the place.]
FROM: ratchet@cdc.org
any idea why though? what would be that advantage of someone on the inside killing a CDC crew?
[How much he's willing to theorise in such an easily monitored space is up in the air, but Ratchet doesn't think there's any harm in asking.]
FROM: ratchet@cdc.org
any idea why though? what would be that advantage of someone on the inside killing a CDC crew?
[How much he's willing to theorise in such an easily monitored space is up in the air, but Ratchet doesn't think there's any harm in asking.]
[ D’Artagnan shakes his head. With that, at least, he can sympathise. ]
I angered him too. [ Warriorhead. And for similar reasons, he hasn’t apologised. He’s not going to say he’s sorry just because Warriorhead is angry. With what he knows now, he thinks what he said was fair, and it had been Warriorhead’s choice not to explain further. If he knows better in future, he’ll rethink that. For now, he’s stubborn. ]
I don’t know what to tell you. You could try Dagger. He gave out the punishment, he must know the reason. Whether he’d tell you is something else.
I angered him too. [ Warriorhead. And for similar reasons, he hasn’t apologised. He’s not going to say he’s sorry just because Warriorhead is angry. With what he knows now, he thinks what he said was fair, and it had been Warriorhead’s choice not to explain further. If he knows better in future, he’ll rethink that. For now, he’s stubborn. ]
I don’t know what to tell you. You could try Dagger. He gave out the punishment, he must know the reason. Whether he’d tell you is something else.
[ The closeness of the turian at his level doesn't bother Red, the boy stopping as soon as Garrus kneels down in front of him, not flinching either from the hand. He keeps his reddening eyes on the face, having nowhere else he wants to put them, nothing he wants to hide when he holds no shame for his misery, though his lips do squeeze and his head dips when Garrus speaks about protection. He's not so sure if strength will be enough to protect everyone, but - something like that would be nice.
His gazes back up to Garrus's face to the end, and he nods. ]
I don't want them to suffer. [ And never has, but it's a different kind of tune from all the times before. The next part he can't say with his eyes open (to have another pair looking back), the last few words being carried out by his breath: ] I want it to be painless.
[ He breathes in after, gazing off when he sees once more. Whatever control he can keep on himself, he wants to keep it, though it doesn't stop a tear from rolling to his mouth.
Red puts a hand on the one that sits on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze before walking to the way that Garrus had gestured before. Looking at the selection he picks out compact gauss gun without much decision, turning back around with it in his hold, level to his stomach. ]
This is the one I have.
His gazes back up to Garrus's face to the end, and he nods. ]
I don't want them to suffer. [ And never has, but it's a different kind of tune from all the times before. The next part he can't say with his eyes open (to have another pair looking back), the last few words being carried out by his breath: ] I want it to be painless.
[ He breathes in after, gazing off when he sees once more. Whatever control he can keep on himself, he wants to keep it, though it doesn't stop a tear from rolling to his mouth.
Red puts a hand on the one that sits on his shoulder, giving it a squeeze before walking to the way that Garrus had gestured before. Looking at the selection he picks out compact gauss gun without much decision, turning back around with it in his hold, level to his stomach. ]
This is the one I have.
That does seem to be the case.
[ He smiles, then shrugs, though there's a smile in Sebastian's eyes that would seem to confirm those thoughts that they're in the same page or very close to it. ]
It is an interesting game of politics when the biggest player sees all and knows all, yes?
[ He smiles, then shrugs, though there's a smile in Sebastian's eyes that would seem to confirm those thoughts that they're in the same page or very close to it. ]
It is an interesting game of politics when the biggest player sees all and knows all, yes?
He'd appreciate that.
[ Breathe in, breathe out. There's the slightest pause from Pilot as Garrus gives him a bit of a challenge. He considers for a moment and then hums softly. ]
He'll try.
[ He takes a moment to set himself and steady the weapon. There's a very long moment of silence and then he squeezes off two shots. His first is a hit, dead center, the second just clips the target. ]
[ Breathe in, breathe out. There's the slightest pause from Pilot as Garrus gives him a bit of a challenge. He considers for a moment and then hums softly. ]
He'll try.
[ He takes a moment to set himself and steady the weapon. There's a very long moment of silence and then he squeezes off two shots. His first is a hit, dead center, the second just clips the target. ]
FROM: red@cdc.org
hi garrus its red. are you busy? theyre letting me see my pokemon today. i can keep them out in the training room. not the vr one. did you want to meet them?
hi garrus its red. are you busy? theyre letting me see my pokemon today. i can keep them out in the training room. not the vr one. did you want to meet them?
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Of course. They out now? I can be down there in five.
[It's one of the easiest questions Garrus has ever answered.]
Of course. They out now? I can be down there in five.
[It's one of the easiest questions Garrus has ever answered.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Don't think the intention was exactly to kill everyone. Think it was to probe for weaknesses. But I can't be sure of that.
[It would be easier to take over the ship if everyone on it was dead, wouldn't it? No difficulty with replacing the old guard? Garrus wonders if maybe they had all been supposed to die. Honey hadn't exactly tried to make friends.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
What else have you gotten on the IPS?
Don't think the intention was exactly to kill everyone. Think it was to probe for weaknesses. But I can't be sure of that.
[It would be easier to take over the ship if everyone on it was dead, wouldn't it? No difficulty with replacing the old guard? Garrus wonders if maybe they had all been supposed to die. Honey hadn't exactly tried to make friends.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
What else have you gotten on the IPS?
Sees and knows most.
[If it knew all, he'd be dead. Others would be too. Garrus is no fan of the CDC and never will be, and he knows there are some other good people who agree. D'Artagnan. Shepard. Parker. The list is long, and if the CDC had any idea they might just purge the whole ship of recruits right now.]
They hold most of the cards. But nothing's over until the last card is dealt and put into play.
[And then it doesn't always mean what the player thinks it does.]
Basically, nobody's infallible. Ally or enemy. Friend or stranger. And nobody knows what really will happen until it's done.
[If it knew all, he'd be dead. Others would be too. Garrus is no fan of the CDC and never will be, and he knows there are some other good people who agree. D'Artagnan. Shepard. Parker. The list is long, and if the CDC had any idea they might just purge the whole ship of recruits right now.]
They hold most of the cards. But nothing's over until the last card is dealt and put into play.
[And then it doesn't always mean what the player thinks it does.]
Basically, nobody's infallible. Ally or enemy. Friend or stranger. And nobody knows what really will happen until it's done.
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