Angle's wrong. Stand itself is in the way of that, plus if they're coming in we're closer. And if they're breaking the door down they're already gonna be armed, so it's to deal with the ones that aren't that ready for who they're about to run into.
[He starts gaining speed. This is more his topic.]
For the ones who are, we've got the coffeemaker. Thinking about adding a tripwire, too. What do you say to moving the couch near the base of the stairs, back to the staircase itself, making people have to go around it to come up? It won't give them cover since we'll have the high ground, and it's a good way to slow down any... company.
I certainly concur with you about securing our current ... hm .. "dwelling" as our base of operations. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to veto your idea of relocating the sofa.
Why not use your own mattress? You could lean it against the railing at the top of the stairs. That way we'd effectively block any line of sight, thus reducing the chance of enemy fire.
Huh. If we could move it fast enough if we came under assault, sure. Not gonna just leave it out there regularly, though. I might be used to a cot in the main battery, but I'm not passing up a chance to sleep in a bed.
[And he misses it.]
Still need to find the right sort of pillow so I can sleep on my back, but I'm not complaining. And I'm not wasting one of the few nice things here.
Firm, narrow, but tall. Turian beds are made for the carapace and fringe, human beds just aren't. So most of the time I sleep on my side. And yeah, I know there's the other. But I like having a room on the sec--
[Then he gets it, and the word turns into a cough. Garrus knows Thane is messing with him. That doesn't help.]
[Okay, that sounds stupid. Garrus knows there are a lot of different ways to have sex, and now he sounds like an idiot. So he hastens to try to clear that up.]
I mean, I know there are a lot of types. You know. I've... uh. But... what?
[...Still stupid.]
What do you mean? The... Cuddling's not an act. And turians are pointy. Wouldn't think we'd be any good at it. Sharp parts and all. We being turians.
[Garrus just doesn't know how to word this, but he's pretty sure he's no longer being messed with.]
But here... I'm not under any illusions. If this place didn't have its... requirements, if these things weren't in our heads, we wouldn't have fucked.
You're crew, you're a friend, and I'm damn glad to have you as an ally even if I don't wish this place on any of our people. Hell. You're the only one I'd trust enough to use that... thing. Doesn't mean I'm expecting an invitation to your bed to sleep.
no subject
[Garrus gives up.]
Why wouldn't there be a gun in the umbrella stand? Someone comes to the door we don't want there, it's easy to grab.
no subject
Mhn. And easy to grab for our hypothetical intruder.
no subject
[He starts gaining speed. This is more his topic.]
For the ones who are, we've got the coffeemaker. Thinking about adding a tripwire, too. What do you say to moving the couch near the base of the stairs, back to the staircase itself, making people have to go around it to come up? It won't give them cover since we'll have the high ground, and it's a good way to slow down any... company.
no subject
For a few seconds.]
I certainly concur with you about securing our current ... hm .. "dwelling" as our base of operations. But I'm afraid I'm going to have to veto your idea of relocating the sofa.
no subject
[Of all the times to miss Zaeed. Garrus sounds thoughtful, not disappointed.]
Maybe something at the top of the stairs for us, then. High ground doesn't do enough if they can still hit you.
no subject
[Nope, couldn't resist after all.]
no subject
[And he misses it.]
Still need to find the right sort of pillow so I can sleep on my back, but I'm not complaining. And I'm not wasting one of the few nice things here.
no subject
[A brief pause.]
It wouldn't be a waste. We would be putting one of our disposable luxuries to good use. There are, after all, other beds here ..
no subject
[Then he gets it, and the word turns into a cough. Garrus knows Thane is messing with him. That doesn't help.]
Hah. Uh. Didn't take you for that type.
no subject
[He should probably leave the poor guy alone ... but he kinda can't help it.]
no subject
[And he should probably shut up, but he has a lot of difficulty doing that.]
Wanting... company. Instead of just... uh... the act.
no subject
[Well, that he didn't expect ... he'd expected some sort of comment along the lines of sharing one's territory.]
What left you with that impression? There are many different types of 'acts'.
no subject
[Okay, that sounds stupid. Garrus knows there are a lot of different ways to have sex, and now he sounds like an idiot. So he hastens to try to clear that up.]
I mean, I know there are a lot of types. You know. I've... uh. But... what?
[...Still stupid.]
What do you mean? The... Cuddling's not an act. And turians are pointy. Wouldn't think we'd be any good at it. Sharp parts and all. We being turians.
[Even more stupid. Okay. Shutting up now.]
no subject
[His tone, as always, is entirely neutral.]
Do you take me to be the type to only engage in the act itself, without any care beyond that ... ?
no subject
No.
[Garrus just doesn't know how to word this, but he's pretty sure he's no longer being messed with.]
But here... I'm not under any illusions. If this place didn't have its... requirements, if these things weren't in our heads, we wouldn't have fucked.
You're crew, you're a friend, and I'm damn glad to have you as an ally even if I don't wish this place on any of our people. Hell. You're the only one I'd trust enough to use that... thing. Doesn't mean I'm expecting an invitation to your bed to sleep.
no subject
[Well, this conversation has sobered up considerably ... and he hadn't intended it to take this turn.]
If you'd like your bed to be more turian-friendly, then let me know what modifications you require. I will see what I can do.
no subject
Don't think that I don't... uh. I've liked... I...
[Thane isn't fragile, quite the opposite, but at the same time Garrus doesn't want to fracture the friendship they do have.]
Mine works. It's flat instead of dipped, but it's still better than a cot.
[A beat, and then because some people never learn and keep insisting on putting their feet in their mouths:]
And yours has been pretty... uh... friendly. Turian. To turians. A tur-- I'm going to stop now.
no subject
[Without even missing a beat.]
no subject
Yeah. Okay.