forgivetheinsubordination | IC Contact

FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org

Been to the bar yet?

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

Yes. And there again. Forget sometimes how there's not a lot to do when we're not being murdered or dealing with moose in the halls.

FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org

I forgot about the moose.

FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org

Let me know if you plan on circling back there.

[ To the bar. ]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

How the hell did you forget about the moose?

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

But sure. I can head there now. Wanna meet up?

FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org

It's been a long couple of months.

FROM: rogers.steve@cdc.org

Yeah. I'll meet you over there in 10.

[It really has been. The moose seem a distant annoyance/amusement by now, though as he heads to the club he passes through one of the halls he ran into them in. It's strange that the ship is starting to hold memories for him. Stranger yet that it's a mix of painful and happy; that means Garrus doesn't know what to do with his feelings on this ship.

He's at the Lunar club about eight minutes later, taking a seat near the door. He figures Lunar is the one Steve means. When the mood is low, everyone gravitates to that one. And as he's been here a couple of times already today, Garrus is starting with a water while he waits.]

[ Steve shows up a minute or two behind Garrus, spotting him quick and giving him a quick nod before heading over to the bar to grab something for himself - a beer, if just to have something in front of him. He brings it back to where Garrus is seated - he's not in civilian clothes, and the shield on his back has to be shoved between the chair and the wall so that he can sit.

It speaks to how he feels about the ship after the last time. ]

Starting slow?

[ He nods at the water, eyebrows raised. Garrus did mention he's done this a few times already. ]

[Last time on the ship, he'd taken off the armor, walked around in tunic and leggings. This time, he's of the same opinion as Steve. His juggernaut cuff is on his wrist even with his full armor on, breathing mask is in one of his armor's compartments, and he's got two guns strapped on. Maybe it's overkill. It's worth the risk.

Garrus' mandibles flare out at the question, though.]

Started two trips to the bar ago. Been drinking slow, so I'm not in any danger of being drunk, but gonna hit this before the next beer. Considering the last week or two, really not sure being buzzed is the way to go.

[Dagger's dead. Maybe none of the recruits are in Honey's sights, but he can't say he finds her altogether competent. She's young. Anything could happen. And he still believes as Crichton - that Honey was behind the shipping container and the deaths last time.

His voice is only lightly amused, though, not fully there. One of the last people they'd spoken about is dead now. Dead, and one of his young. They need a better way of keeping track of people. A better way to defend people.]

So. Social call? Need a recommendation for a neutral chirality beer that isn't lousy?

[ Being alert is the smart way to go right now. His brow furrows a bit at the question though, and it takes him a second to figure out how he wants to start talking. Social call isn't exactly right. ]

Xion was one of yours.

[ In Garrus' cell. Steve didn't know her well, but he knows how Garrus likes to look after people - so the statement is more a question, or an offer to go down that conversational route. If Garrus wants to. Steve's never been the sort to force anyone to talk about their personal issues, not unless it's causing a noticeable problem - and even then, he's not always the best person for the job. But he also knows how hard Garrus takes these losses, so -

social call. ]

[Garrus sighs and then signals to the bartender that he's ready for a beer again. This is definitely that sort of a topic.]

She was.

[But not quite how Steve means it, he thinks. He's pretty sure most people have no idea how many of the young he'd started to look after. It's better that way, safer for them, because then they won't get hurt by someone going after him. Steve, though. Steve isn't that sort. He's not going to hurt people.

There's a pause while he waits for the beer to arrive, while he opens it, before he takes a sip. His voice is weary.]

Lost a few of mine, now. Teach what I can, help how I can, and we're still losing them.

[Who's next? Tsunayoshi? Red? Ed? Green? Jean? He's got several he looks after but he's never in enough places at once. Maya, Ino, Zuko, Ichigo, there's a whole list of names that keeps growing because the CDC keeps pulling in kids who don't know what they're doing or even how to do it.]

And Lydia wasn't mine, but she was a friend. Shared a rover, for a time. We were gonna figure out a way to use her ability to help the crew.

[Death is almost always a waste. This is no exception.]

[ Lydia he hadn't know had a connection to Garrus. Had seen her in a long while, though after what Garrus says, he recalls her ability back on Ajna.

The instructors say there's not proof, but the fact that Lydia could sense death makes her own death among a group of others all that more suspicious.

He's not going to push theories right now though. Sometimes, it helps. Right now, he's not so sure. They're stuck. Hands tied, and the likely culprit is freely roaming the halls.

A pause follows, his fingers tapping against the glass in front of him as he stares at it distantly. ]

Only thing we can do now is keep going for them.

[ For the ones Garrus is looking after, and for the memory of the ones he's lost. It's Rikki that Steve thinks about now. Another death in a long list with answers even less clear. ]

Yeah. I know.

[Those words are... well. They're ones he's heard, plenty, ones he's even said. They're just... words, at this point. He takes another drink of his beer.]

And for ourselves, and for all of that. I'm not stopping, Steve. Not gonna let up, or give up, or... Or any of that.

[Garrus sighs.]

But you said we. Did they matter to you? Or someone else?

[He needs to find some thing to record the names of those he'd cared about who have left. The list is getting long, and it will only get longer.]

[ He gives Garrus a wry sort of look for the sigh. There's no argument though. They've been repeating the same mantra to themselves for months, a year.

His head tilts to one side, eyes still fixed on his glass. ]

I didn't know them - Xion I'd met once or twice. [ April he'd never met. It's not just the deaths either, their numbers were hit pretty hard by the transfer. ] How many of us do you think are left from that first drop?

[ Less than a quarter of the first recruits that hit Ajna? He doesn't have solid numbers, remembers a lot of the names, but not all of them. ]

[So there's a name, but Steve isn't saying it. And then it clicks that maybe it's not someone dead Steve is thinking about, but transferred, and Peggy got transferred quite some time ago. For all they know, the transfers are dead by now. Clary came back, sure, but have many others?

Steve's question gets a shake of his head.]

Of the... I've got to say 200. There had to be as many as that in the initial camp. I'd say we've got around an sixth left, tops. Probably closer to a seventh.

[They've just lost another of the original group, too. Mogget. Garrus is going to miss the cat, miss the warmth against the back of his neck and the wry snark. Reiner had been here all along, hadn't he? Kakashi? So that's three, not just one.]

Two of the four I shared the first rover with are here. Probably one of very few who can say that. Why?

[Where's this going?]

[ Hanbei too. Baku. It's the same for him though. Shinji and Sharon are still around from his first rover.

He raises his eyebrows, as if considering the question, then shakes his head with a slight shrug, his tone almost apologetic. ]

I don't know. Just thinking out loud, I guess. [ He finally takes a drink from the glass in front of him. It's not going anywhere. He'd come around here just with the intention to check on Garrus and talk, but now he's soured his own mood. ]

And now we're both thinking about losses.

[There's the faintest bit of dryness to the comment, and he follows it up with a drink.]

Can't really guarantee that anyone'll stay. But for those that do, we'll keep being Green. Keep being the protection, as best we can. Just wish...

[He shakes his head.]

Wish that we'd stop taking the losses. That Xion had given anyone a head's up when leaving camp to do whatever it was that had her run into something too strong for her. Gather plants? Animals? Either way, we might benefit from a stronger buddy system. Or something. I don't know. Talking after a few beers here.

[ He frowns at that last part - before the comment about beers. ]

Maybe she didn't think she was going alone.

[ Xion hadn't been the only casualty listed. And more often than not, these strange deaths happen to groups rather than individuals. The deaths on the ship, the dismembered bodies on Ajna. ]

Maybe she didn't.

[Had she known April or Lydia? Garrus has no way to know.]

An attack shouldn't have taken Lydia by surprise, at least.

[So maybe she'd been there, with the others. Maybe they'd known something was coming? He has nothing, though. Garrus sighs.]

It's all a guessing game, after, when we don't know what happened. Dead end. Regrets and frustration. Can't afford to dwell on it, can't afford to forget them, though. Think I need to start writing down names.

[He's pretty sure he's already forgot some of the names of people he's met here who have gone on to die or be transferred and might be dead elsewhere.]

There anything you do?

Edited 2015-06-07 19:07 (UTC)

[ He doesn't consider it much of a guessing game, but with no proof Garrus isn't wrong - they're stuck at another dead end.

His brow furrows at the question, head tilting to the side again. ]

Drink. [ When he could in the field, even when it didn't do anything - like now. Memorials had been erected and words long past printed by the time he found out most of his friends were dead. He carries all of his ghosts with him. ] Stay alive.

[ He says both answers without any sense of facetiousness. ]

[There's a lead, but again, no proof. If something comes up he'll take it, but until then... Until then, it's basically as Steve says.]

Drink. Stay alive.

[Garrus' hand goes up to his visor and he pulls it off. It's the first time Steve will have seen Garrus without it, and if Rogers looks at where Garrus' thumb is tracing, there's a list of names burned on the inside.]

And remember. As long as you remember, they're not completely gone.

[He raises his bottle with his other hand, holds it out toward Steve.]

To them?

[ His gaze travels along the names under Garrus' thumb, an unspoken understanding in his expression. When his eyes lift to the turian's face again, there's something of a somber smile tipping one side of his mouth as he raises his own bottle. ]

To them.

IC Contact - Consignment

DAY 123

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I looked upthread and saw this was Day 123... PRETEND IT'S DAY 124 sdkjfsk

Numbers schmumbers. IT IS NOW DAY 124

HOORAY

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