Garrus Vakarian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
forgivetheinsubordination) wrote2037-04-27 09:49 pm
forgivetheinsubordination) wrote2037-04-27 09:49 pm
Entry tags:
IC Contact - Consignment
vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
(0) UNREAD MESSAGES
vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
(0) UNREAD MESSAGES
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
It's a list of people who are about to not be able to breathe and are gonna suffer in ways that made Krios pass out, and I have no damn clue as to why we're on there.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
That help you, Joker?
It's a list of people who are about to not be able to breathe and are gonna suffer in ways that made Krios pass out, and I have no damn clue as to why we're on there.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
That help you, Joker?
[He thinks about not picking up. The last thing he wants to risk is Joker hearing when it hits. But if he keeps it short...]
CALLING: Vakarian, Garrus
I. Don't. Know.
[There's anger in his voice, frustration too, both of them making up most of what's in his subharmonics, but there's a faint under-rumble there. He's lost. He doesn't understand this, and he doesn't want the agony but there's nothing for it.]
Can't relay what I'm about to say to Shepard. She's Grey. Telling her will probably land you with this too. But we don't have a general gag order.
Our orders were recon. Do you really think Tali and I fucked up recon? Get intel about a neraki village. We got it. I have nothing else to give you, Moreau.
CALLING: Vakarian, Garrus
I. Don't. Know.
[There's anger in his voice, frustration too, both of them making up most of what's in his subharmonics, but there's a faint under-rumble there. He's lost. He doesn't understand this, and he doesn't want the agony but there's nothing for it.]
Can't relay what I'm about to say to Shepard. She's Grey. Telling her will probably land you with this too. But we don't have a general gag order.
Our orders were recon. Do you really think Tali and I fucked up recon? Get intel about a neraki village. We got it. I have nothing else to give you, Moreau.
So, what, they're just punishing you arbitrarily? And who the fuck tortures their personnel when a mission doesn't go down right?
[It's mostly a rhetorical question-- clearly the CDC does-- but still. What the fuck.]
I know you two aren't idiots, you can run a recon mission in your freakin' sleep, but-- shit. There's nothing you can do to stop it, is there?
[He wants to talk to Shepard, because the default response when shit goes down is to make it Shepard's problem too, but landing himself in hot water for nothing doesn't help anybody. Which means all he can do is sit there and wait until it happens and hope that no one dies or anything.]
[It's mostly a rhetorical question-- clearly the CDC does-- but still. What the fuck.]
I know you two aren't idiots, you can run a recon mission in your freakin' sleep, but-- shit. There's nothing you can do to stop it, is there?
[He wants to talk to Shepard, because the default response when shit goes down is to make it Shepard's problem too, but landing himself in hot water for nothing doesn't help anybody. Which means all he can do is sit there and wait until it happens and hope that no one dies or anything.]
What, you think I could stop it and I'm sitting on my hands because I want this? Because I want this for me, Tali, the kids that landed on the list, Noh, any of them?
[His voice is clearly asking if Joker is stupid.]
What do you want me to say? And tell me fast, because I'm about to switch back to text.
[His voice is clearly asking if Joker is stupid.]
What do you want me to say? And tell me fast, because I'm about to switch back to text.
[He knows the answer to the question, that's not why he asked it-- it's because he hates this stupid helpless feeling when something's wrong and he doesn't know how to fix it. He could play up being a grumpy smartass all he wants, but this is his crew. He cares, even when he doesn't show it.]
I want something to do that isn't sitting on my ass, Vakarian. What were you expecting, for me to just be cool with this shit?
[He wants to help, even if there isn't any way that he actually can.]
I want something to do that isn't sitting on my ass, Vakarian. What were you expecting, for me to just be cool with this shit?
[He wants to help, even if there isn't any way that he actually can.]
FROM: kaburagi.kotetsu@cdc.org
hey. how are you holding up?
Edited 2015-05-07 06:40 (UTC)
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
You know me. Life of the party. Should be able to hear the music from wherever you're at. Having a great day, figured why not celebrate.
[Sarcasm, just one of the many services Garrus Vakarian offers.]
You know me. Life of the party. Should be able to hear the music from wherever you're at. Having a great day, figured why not celebrate.
[Sarcasm, just one of the many services Garrus Vakarian offers.]
FROM: kaburagi.kotetsu@cdc.org
so i'd take it youre doing okay if your sarcasm's intact.
[ level up in sarcasm detection! this is what he gets for hanging out with so many people who speak sarcasm. 8( ]
[Shame is that the sarcasm this time means the opposite of okay. But Kotetsu detected it! That's a first step!]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Is anyone in this mess actually okay? Seriously asking here, because I'd like to hear that someone is.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Is anyone in this mess actually okay? Seriously asking here, because I'd like to hear that someone is.
[There's a heavy sigh from Garrus.]
There's nothing else to do. Really wish I had anything else to tell you. Last time the punishment happened, Krios broke a gag order. I didn't realize he was doing it at the time. Then the announcement goes up and he's showing me why.
It'll be thirty seconds. It won't kill me or Tali. And as far as what to take from this... Just the fact that they're doing it, really. Gonna go back to text for anything else, Joker.
There's nothing else to do. Really wish I had anything else to tell you. Last time the punishment happened, Krios broke a gag order. I didn't realize he was doing it at the time. Then the announcement goes up and he's showing me why.
It'll be thirty seconds. It won't kill me or Tali. And as far as what to take from this... Just the fact that they're doing it, really. Gonna go back to text for anything else, Joker.
No one wants to be seen like that.
[Writhing, unable to control yourself, bleeding... No. No one wants anyone to remember this image of them.]
And don't worry. I'll be checking on her. Or she'll beat me to it, one of the two. Either way, we've got each other covered.
[Writhing, unable to control yourself, bleeding... No. No one wants anyone to remember this image of them.]
And don't worry. I'll be checking on her. Or she'll beat me to it, one of the two. Either way, we've got each other covered.
I guess not. Even if I've seen much worse.
[He frowns to himself.] Should I leave you to rest? You've been through some shit today. Or if you want a good story, I could tell you what happened to the last asshole I work for.
It might be good to hear.
[He frowns to himself.] Should I leave you to rest? You've been through some shit today. Or if you want a good story, I could tell you what happened to the last asshole I work for.
It might be good to hear.
Fuck.
[It's one thing to not trust the CDC and think that they'll go back on all their promises to keep their homeworlds safe, but it's a whole different can of bullshit to actually torture your own personnel, even if it's only for thirty seconds. The former, Joker expected; the latter, not so much.]
Just... ping me later or something, okay?
[It's one thing to not trust the CDC and think that they'll go back on all their promises to keep their homeworlds safe, but it's a whole different can of bullshit to actually torture your own personnel, even if it's only for thirty seconds. The former, Joker expected; the latter, not so much.]
Just... ping me later or something, okay?
Edited 2015-05-07 08:00 (UTC)
FROM: kaburagi.kotetsu@cdc.org
no. but everyones alive, sometimes thats enough for some
FROM: kaburagi.kotetsu@cdc.org
but that doesnt make any of this okay, and i know that.
[ Red pauses, considering a moment how to sound more reassuring so not to put any concern on himself. But what is there to say?
He'll have to take Garrus's word on taking his word. ]
FROM: red@cdc.org
dont know i havent seen him but he isnt going to be happy. he might be on guard around green for a while but thats just a guess. he cares about green a lot.
He'll have to take Garrus's word on taking his word. ]
FROM: red@cdc.org
dont know i havent seen him but he isnt going to be happy. he might be on guard around green for a while but thats just a guess. he cares about green a lot.
That you have too much time on your hands?
[ Glib as that answer may be, she's not unaware that usually flowers are a sign of affection. Less so anything starkly romantic in her mind - though it has that association, too, pretty things as markers for precious relationships - but children might gather wildflowers in the field and proudly present them to parents when otherwise they should have been gathering wood. Or practicing. Or being productive little people in some form.
She picks out two of the flowers, holding the stems up and starting to weave them together. It's the work from the Khitlasi camp that reminds her of this; it's been years, and she'd never been good at it. She doesn't say anything to Garrus because she's trying to refamiliarize. ]
Enthusiastic, isn't it.
[ This whole planet is weird. How much longer is it going to be "allowed" to exist? (Talk about god complexes. It'd been bad enough confined to one world - making it universal is a great example of company-sized hubris. She wonders how often it ends poorly for the CDC. Frankly... she remembers the refugees in Selena. The ones who were responsible for the show in the night sky.) ]
Things only need to mean as much as you want them to mean. For example... [ she holds up her two woven floors, picking a third out of the pile ] ... "this can be made with only what it provides you."
[ Connections build, link by link. The strength is in those links and the chain as a whole, but it depends on each individual. ]
[ Glib as that answer may be, she's not unaware that usually flowers are a sign of affection. Less so anything starkly romantic in her mind - though it has that association, too, pretty things as markers for precious relationships - but children might gather wildflowers in the field and proudly present them to parents when otherwise they should have been gathering wood. Or practicing. Or being productive little people in some form.
She picks out two of the flowers, holding the stems up and starting to weave them together. It's the work from the Khitlasi camp that reminds her of this; it's been years, and she'd never been good at it. She doesn't say anything to Garrus because she's trying to refamiliarize. ]
Enthusiastic, isn't it.
[ This whole planet is weird. How much longer is it going to be "allowed" to exist? (Talk about god complexes. It'd been bad enough confined to one world - making it universal is a great example of company-sized hubris. She wonders how often it ends poorly for the CDC. Frankly... she remembers the refugees in Selena. The ones who were responsible for the show in the night sky.) ]
Things only need to mean as much as you want them to mean. For example... [ she holds up her two woven floors, picking a third out of the pile ] ... "this can be made with only what it provides you."
[ Connections build, link by link. The strength is in those links and the chain as a whole, but it depends on each individual. ]
[There's a delay before he answers. Garrus wishes there was anything either of them could do, but the truth of the matter is that there isn't. And he also doesn't want to be seen like this before he's gotten a little rest. He's a limping, hurting, mess.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
You know me, Shepard. Let me know when you've got someone mixing drinks for us and I'll be over.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
You know me, Shepard. Let me know when you've got someone mixing drinks for us and I'll be over.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Then I better get to work on covering my ass.
Then I better get to work on covering my ass.
Garrus.
[She rocks forward from heel to toe, weight shifting like a visual cue that she's shifting gears from 'stationary' to 'on the move.' She doesn't really stick around - falling into an even, if imperceptibly shortened, stride the moment he reaches her and making for the nearby treeline.]
You can stop worrying; I'm not going vegetarian any time soon. [The CDC can force her to do all kinds of shit, but that's one line she's not gonna cross.] You're here to help me catch mushrooms. --And huskberries, if you see any apparently.
[It's idle conversation at best, light for all its avoidance just like she's making a point not to look too hard at Garrus's shortened stride or listen too carefully to the ragged undertones of his subharmonics. Common courtesy.]
[She rocks forward from heel to toe, weight shifting like a visual cue that she's shifting gears from 'stationary' to 'on the move.' She doesn't really stick around - falling into an even, if imperceptibly shortened, stride the moment he reaches her and making for the nearby treeline.]
You can stop worrying; I'm not going vegetarian any time soon. [The CDC can force her to do all kinds of shit, but that's one line she's not gonna cross.] You're here to help me catch mushrooms. --And huskberries, if you see any apparently.
[It's idle conversation at best, light for all its avoidance just like she's making a point not to look too hard at Garrus's shortened stride or listen too carefully to the ragged undertones of his subharmonics. Common courtesy.]
[She's switching to his pace and as much as Garrus knows it's practical, he wishes it wasn't necessary. He pushes his speed a little. Maybe it's not the smartest idea ever, but he hates being weak or holding himself back.]
Catch them. Because they're gonna run away.
[At least he can manage some teasing.]
If we angle a little more to the south, I think there were some huskberries that way. Make sure we're productive.
[Because obviously they hadn't been productive enough, or something. He doesn't know. At least huskberries would be a safe topic.]
Forget what they do again. They're the ones that dye, aren't they?
Catch them. Because they're gonna run away.
[At least he can manage some teasing.]
If we angle a little more to the south, I think there were some huskberries that way. Make sure we're productive.
[Because obviously they hadn't been productive enough, or something. He doesn't know. At least huskberries would be a safe topic.]
Forget what they do again. They're the ones that dye, aren't they?
[He's tired, but at the same time, he could go for a story. It sounds promising, too, the way Niko phrases here.]
You mind if...
[This isn't easy. He takes a breath before continuing.]
Mind if I lay down while you tell the story?
You mind if...
[This isn't easy. He takes a breath before continuing.]
Mind if I lay down while you tell the story?
My priority is Rannoch. [She knows Garrus is trying to help, knows he means well and that every part of him must be raging against this just as she is. But she's not him. She has her own blacks and whites, and they're not necessarily like his.] None of my people have to do this while I'm here. None of them have to deal with this. Because I'm doing it for them.
[She grabs for the curtain rail over her bunk and stands with difficulty - but she wants to look him full in the face for this.]
I'm a quarian. If I have to break for the Migrant Fleet, I'll do it. If I have to give up who I am, I'll do it. [The last words blurt out before she can even stop them, before she can think them. They're low, and intense, and the very sound of them surprises her.]
And if I have to destroy planets for them, I'll do it.
[She has to look down then, look away from his face. She's afraid, suddenly, of what she'll see there.]
[She grabs for the curtain rail over her bunk and stands with difficulty - but she wants to look him full in the face for this.]
I'm a quarian. If I have to break for the Migrant Fleet, I'll do it. If I have to give up who I am, I'll do it. [The last words blurt out before she can even stop them, before she can think them. They're low, and intense, and the very sound of them surprises her.]
And if I have to destroy planets for them, I'll do it.
[She has to look down then, look away from his face. She's afraid, suddenly, of what she'll see there.]
Then what's the point?
[They're both angry and hurt and maybe this isn't the best idea ever, but it's not really like Garrus is thinking.]
If you're gonna give up who you are, why not take off the suit and go outside? Why bother with a sterile environment? You wouldn't jeopardize your planet and at least you'd go out you.
Destroying planets is one thing. It's something we have to do. But...
[He shakes his head.]
But giving into fear? Did you do that against the Shadow Broker's men? Did you do that on Freedom's Progress when something unknown had just taken everyone and could still be lingering?
[They're both angry and hurt and maybe this isn't the best idea ever, but it's not really like Garrus is thinking.]
If you're gonna give up who you are, why not take off the suit and go outside? Why bother with a sterile environment? You wouldn't jeopardize your planet and at least you'd go out you.
Destroying planets is one thing. It's something we have to do. But...
[He shakes his head.]
But giving into fear? Did you do that against the Shadow Broker's men? Did you do that on Freedom's Progress when something unknown had just taken everyone and could still be lingering?
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