Fair enough. Though they would at least have us think that they hold every card, which is just as annoying, in some ways...
[ He shakes his head softly, since this does remind him of something, and he brings a hand to his mouth to stifle a soft laugh. He wouldn't ruin the game so quickly, since he has no want or need to, but to Garrus, who has earned Sebastian's respect... He at least gets more of a concession from Sebastian than most. ]
Ah, but they are not all-seeing, you are correct, though they may wish to peek at our hands. I do not believe I need to say it to you, but all the same, do be wary of who you speak to on such matters. Calling them spies would be a rather loaded word, but there are some more loyal than others amongst us, I would say. I would not wish to fling accusations upon what I have noticed, but—
[ He lowers his hand as he gives Garrus a sidelong glance. ]
You may take my opinions as you will, yes?
Edited (i needed to continue the analogy) 2015-05-26 03:03 (UTC)
[Because trouble had come after he'd spoken with Erin. He can't even imagine how much more trouble he'd get for potentially, accidentally sending d'Artagnan after a stressed Warriorhead.]
And no. No, I really doubt Dagger's gonna say anything. Especially to a Green.
[There hadn't been the promise of any answers at all from the message Dagger had sent.]
There won't be answers. That's how they want to play it.
[That's how they want to betray anyone who has had faith. Who has trusted and tried.]
most of the people i trust enough to ask are too new for that whole incident and other than that there's just the file on the network.
FROM: ratchet@cdc.org
there's not much info, but it's weird that they left even that little bit laying around. woulda been easy to remove completely.
[It's not like the CDC has any qualms about keeping them completely in the dark. If the information was need-to-know, it followed that there would probably be more than a name...but if they didn't want them to know at all than why even leave that crumb? It's hard to say if it's sloppy, or cunning.]
[ Being alert is the smart way to go right now. His brow furrows a bit at the question though, and it takes him a second to figure out how he wants to start talking. Social call isn't exactly right. ]
Xion was one of yours.
[ In Garrus' cell. Steve didn't know her well, but he knows how Garrus likes to look after people - so the statement is more a question, or an offer to go down that conversational route. If Garrus wants to. Steve's never been the sort to force anyone to talk about their personal issues, not unless it's causing a noticeable problem - and even then, he's not always the best person for the job. But he also knows how hard Garrus takes these losses, so -
The neraki will if we stay much longer. They're not blind to patterns. They've just lacked ample time to observe.
[ Because they were much faster on the aggressive uptake then they were on pulling back to watch. It was... a curiosity, and an understandable reaction.
As is what Garrus says now. There was doubt because I wanted there to be doubt. She knows people like that - more than her fair share, perhaps. I believed because I wanted to believe. There was doubt because I wanted there to be doubt.
Things might be better.
Ah... but they weren't. Annie holds up her flowercrown, no artistic masterpiece, but serviceable. She holds it up to see the grey, cloudy skies above framed by its lopsided oval in her hands. Things might be better... but they aren't. ]
... So shitty.
[ Her flower crown, the situation they're in, where they're headed - probably all of it. ]
[No, the second isn't a success. But Pilot stepped up to the challenge and got close. There's heavy approval in Garrus' voice.]
Excellent first try. And that's the first step to sniping. Focusing on more than one target, knowing where they're at so you can take out what you need to, precisely, with no collateral damage. Anyone can mow down a group. And anyone can just as easily be the cause of friendly fire. Pick another pair, try it again.
[Garrus stands back up to follow Red when he moves, letting him pull out the gun and nodding when Red says it's his.]
And the best way to make it clean, make it be painless, is to learn how to use this.
[Which is why the boy's here.]
Take a seat, Red. First thing I'm gonna teach you is the gun itself.
[He grabs the duplicate one and slowly starts taking it apart, piece by piece, taking the time that Red can copy him.]
To know a weapon is to know all its parts. Know how it works, why it works, know how to clean it and take care of it. When you can break it down and build it back together you have an understanding of it, and then you can respect it.
[They'll need to get to firing, sure. But Red's upset as it is. Garrus wants to build up slowly, not break the boy.]
[The IPS could be a scapegoat. Or it could be something to pin recruit's hopes on, to see as a sign that not all struggle is futile, and keep them distracted.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
If you do get anything else I'd love to hear it. But I really don't think there's a lot out there.
After we talked. I wouldn't have known anything about it, otherwise.
[ For good or will, Garrus was the only one who'd mentioned it. D'Artagnan hasn't spread it more widely, either, except to Athos - who, in his mind, is as trustworthy a person as he could possibly tell. He knows his friend will spread it no further. ]
He didn't tell me much, except to ask my questions to Armada when he returned.
[ If he returned, more like. ]
I don't know what to tell you. But I think that you're right. Rarely are there any answers here.
[Garrus sighs and then signals to the bartender that he's ready for a beer again. This is definitely that sort of a topic.]
She was.
[But not quite how Steve means it, he thinks. He's pretty sure most people have no idea how many of the young he'd started to look after. It's better that way, safer for them, because then they won't get hurt by someone going after him. Steve, though. Steve isn't that sort. He's not going to hurt people.
There's a pause while he waits for the beer to arrive, while he opens it, before he takes a sip. His voice is weary.]
Lost a few of mine, now. Teach what I can, help how I can, and we're still losing them.
[Who's next? Tsunayoshi? Red? Ed? Green? Jean? He's got several he looks after but he's never in enough places at once. Maya, Ino, Zuko, Ichigo, there's a whole list of names that keeps growing because the CDC keeps pulling in kids who don't know what they're doing or even how to do it.]
And Lydia wasn't mine, but she was a friend. Shared a rover, for a time. We were gonna figure out a way to use her ability to help the crew.
[Death is almost always a waste. This is no exception.]
[Also of course Sebastian would have noticed some. Garrus is already wary of Pilot and his fixation on the crew above all, knows where Adrien stands. There are probably more than a few Reds whose loyalty has been won... and he's not even sure what Noh-Varr's take on the CDC is. He has to ask one of these days. Just not yet.]
Even when they 'punish' people, they retain some loyalty.
[Somehow. If he could talk to Armada... But maybe it's good that his Instructor isn't around.]
[ He nods, then explains quite easily. With how fluidly he speaks, it implies that this is something Sebastian has thought for quite a while, perhaps even before being contracted by the CDC. ]
Then in my opinion, be wary of those who will find something here. Whatever something may be is quite a large thing, and I cannot easily quantify it... But the CDC offers a unique situation. What we yearn for, what our contracts grant us, these are things we can quantify and work and wish for. The people who pursue their goals without faltering are not those who you should worry about.
[ People like himself, though he doesn't say it. He's not the only one to fall into the category. ]
Rather, it is those that had nothing before, and so here they gain. Those that find acceptance, friendship, family where they had little to none before, they are the ones who I would expect to fulfill such a role. If our Instructors do not take advantage of that loyalty and trust, I would be surprised. It would be greatly to their benefit, after all.
I looked upthread and saw this was Day 123... PRETEND IT'S DAY 124 sdkjfsk
[ Lydia he hadn't know had a connection to Garrus. Had seen her in a long while, though after what Garrus says, he recalls her ability back on Ajna.
The instructors say there's not proof, but the fact that Lydia could sense death makes her own death among a group of others all that more suspicious.
He's not going to push theories right now though. Sometimes, it helps. Right now, he's not so sure. They're stuck. Hands tied, and the likely culprit is freely roaming the halls.
A pause follows, his fingers tapping against the glass in front of him as he stares at it distantly. ]
Only thing we can do now is keep going for them.
[ For the ones Garrus is looking after, and for the memory of the ones he's lost. It's Rikki that Steve thinks about now. Another death in a long list with answers even less clear. ]
[Those words are... well. They're ones he's heard, plenty, ones he's even said. They're just... words, at this point. He takes another drink of his beer.]
And for ourselves, and for all of that. I'm not stopping, Steve. Not gonna let up, or give up, or... Or any of that.
[Garrus sighs.]
But you said we. Did they matter to you? Or someone else?
[He needs to find some thing to record the names of those he'd cared about who have left. The list is getting long, and it will only get longer.]
[He hadn't betrayed any trust by saying anything, he thinks, but then again, he hadn't thought he had with Mothership either. Still doesn't.]
You didn't... You didn't mention my name, did you? To Warriorhead? I...
[A shake of his head, a frustrated sigh. It's not d'Artagnan's fault even if he did.]
Asked Neheda after we talked if someone could go look for Armada, help him. She said she was taking care of him. By this time someone else was asking me about Armada, what was going on, if he was being helped, and I told her that Neheda was helping already. Figured it would cut down on her stress, that she wouldn't add to what was already on Neheda's shoulders. And instead she pushed for more answers, ones I wouldn't give. So she went to Neheda. Pestered. Pushed. And I got in trouble.
[He snorts, and oh, is his voice bitter as he continues.]
Got called untrustworthy. When I hadn't been asked to keep things quiet. When there'd been no implication of confidence, when it seemed like anyone could ask Neheda things and get answers.
[He's never been called untrustworthy before in his life. But if that's what she wants, that's what Neheda will get.]
They might observe patterns, but they don't know tech. They can't expect that there's some our lives are dependent on, I don't think. It's not a part of their world. It'll take people who have saved lives with tech to grasp it, people who rely on it for some of their needs.
[If it's not a part of their lives, why would they think it was crucial to someone else? Otherwise it would be just like a treasured spear. A trinket.]
Gotta have context to make assumptions. The neraki aren't gonna clue in. ...But that doesn't make any of this less shitty.
[ He gives Garrus a wry sort of look for the sigh. There's no argument though. They've been repeating the same mantra to themselves for months, a year.
His head tilts to one side, eyes still fixed on his glass. ]
I didn't know them - Xion I'd met once or twice. [ April he'd never met. It's not just the deaths either, their numbers were hit pretty hard by the transfer. ] How many of us do you think are left from that first drop?
[ Less than a quarter of the first recruits that hit Ajna? He doesn't have solid numbers, remembers a lot of the names, but not all of them. ]
[So there's a name, but Steve isn't saying it. And then it clicks that maybe it's not someone dead Steve is thinking about, but transferred, and Peggy got transferred quite some time ago. For all they know, the transfers are dead by now. Clary came back, sure, but have many others?
Steve's question gets a shake of his head.]
Of the... I've got to say 200. There had to be as many as that in the initial camp. I'd say we've got around an sixth left, tops. Probably closer to a seventh.
[They've just lost another of the original group, too. Mogget. Garrus is going to miss the cat, miss the warmth against the back of his neck and the wry snark. Reiner had been here all along, hadn't he? Kakashi? So that's three, not just one.]
Two of the four I shared the first rover with are here. Probably one of very few who can say that. Why?
They're not taking as much advantage of it as they could.
[How easy would it have been to win over Erin? He can see how lonely she is. How vulnerable. But this cuff thing? No. They'll have lost any chance at her, he's sure. Xion and Roxas are lonely too, but Ghost had been clear that if Roxas misstepped at all in the future, he'd pay, just as Garrus would.
It's another point toward how much of a mess this is. The instructors simply don't make sense. They don't behave in ways that would show patterns, they aren't logical. About anything. There's no sensible approach. It's almost like they're running scared, some days.]
But it's a good thing to keep in mind. And definitely a group that bears awareness. Everyone wants to belong. How much would they give, or sell out, to gain it? For some, the answer to that is everything. Some never really have a high price.
[ It's easy to grasp the concept, less so to put it into practice. Pilot takes another breath (in, out), selects another pair and tries again, with very similar results to the first try, although his second shot is more accurate. He's getting there. ]
You'd never want to take trinkets off your enemies?
[ That's what she means. Understanding what the cuffs do might never be coming, but taking them first as spoils, seeing what happens when they're gone... that's what she can see being pieced together.
Especially when the Neraki make their own tokens to wear. It's a precedent she keeps in mind. ]
Oh, no, certainly not! But I also would guess that they do not wish for it to be so wide-reaching.
[ Though it's a darker, dangerous subject, it comes with a light laugh from Sebastian. It comes from a different place, and no one but perhaps Ciel would be able to guess where that amusement comes from, since it's Ciel he thinks of in this case. He had spoken frankly with Gale about his master's strengths, and in Sebastian's opinion, Ciel would be in the category of those who they could take a fuller advantage of if they had the wish to.
His loyalty, once earned, was near unquestioning, after all. He had been tricked into a contract on that very premise, since he had assumed it was from the Queen rather than how Sebastian had been recruited in a very straightforward way.
Of course, Sebastian is glad that the CDC didn't seem to want to push things that way. He didn't particularly mind, but the course his young master was taking now was certainly more interesting... Or rather, more delicious, he thinks. ]
But regardless, I thought this warranted mentioning or a reminder. I had assumed that it was happening, but with recent events, I got a better idea of it.
[He's killed a lot. He's never been tempted to take a trophy.]
And generally, when someone takes something, the person they're taking from is already dead. Maybe you've seen people act differently. But most of what I've seen... Hell, all of what I've seen, is that things get taken when the fight's done. Which means if the neraki take a cuff as a token, it'll be after the damage is caused. They won't get a no cuff equals death correlation.
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