forgivetheinsubordination | IC Contact

You don't need reapers to turn someone into a killing machine.

[In a literal sense, there's Bucky, the metal-armed assassin with the vaguest idea of a memory. Then there are the warriors, those who by necessity became machines. It doesn't take an alien to erase everything. It takes repetition and desperation to strip someone clean of themselves.]

I'd tell you I don't know if I can do this, but you'd tell me I'd have to do it, just like Erik told me. I've never killed anyone. I just don't want to be so shocked I can't do anything after that.

With your first one, you will be.

[His voice is quiet.]

All the training in the universe can't prepare you for that. Or all the proper training. There's criminal bands that'll push too far, too hard, and they'll break a person. But you're not there. And you better not be there. Which means that the first time you kill someone, it's gonna hurt.

[Garrus shakes his head.]

Best advice I've got for that is make sure someone trustworthy is with you. Someone who can shake you out of the reaction, snap you back to reality, and then they or another friend can help you put back the pieces of you. The moment it gets easy to kill someone who might not deserve it is the moment you've lost part of who you are.

[She scrubs her face. She'll never be ready for this, and her instinct is to run, but damn it, she knows better than to do that now.]

Right. People need people and all that.

People need people.

[He looks over at her, studying her face.]

It's easy to lose yourself if you shut people out, isolate yourself. What's important doesn't seem like so much of a priority once you've got it so you feel alone. Thankfully you've got a bunch of people on your side. All of us who'll teach you, d'Artagnan, the rest of the Leapfrogs... Whatever comes here, Talbot, you're not alone.

[She stays silent, swirling her drink.

She's yet to take an actual drink.]

I can't keep dumping my problems on everyone. Especially not D'Artagnan. He listens to so much about me already.

[It's... complicated, though. She listens to everyone, gladly. She wants to help. But as much as she doesn't want to share her own fears and thoughts, she needs to put them somewhere that won't weigh her mind.]

Then work them out. Don't just talk them out. Train stress away, sleep with d'Artagnan, find things that'll help. You don't need a therapist. You need to find an approach that works.

[Or that's what's always helped Garrus. He doesn't do a lot of talking about his problems. Better to sometimes have another person to listen and unravel, and then do most of the legwork himself, in his opinion. But he likes listening.]

Talk some, solve others. You've got a good head on your shoulders and I know you know how to use it.

[He's got a point, but...]

You know, you talk about me and d'Artagnan a lot.

[Just saying... wait a minute...

SQUINTS.]

You've been snooping longer than that network post, haven't you?

[Suddenly not meeting her eyes as he shrugs.]

Sometimes, when I get a hunch and think I can help, I snoop. And maybe I'd like reasons for my co-leader to make sure to not be reckless. It's practical.

He's got a good head Garrus. You know that, but if he's reckless, it's because he wants to do the right thing.

[She could say more. Instead, she falls silent.]

I can't do much, not like you can, but I promised myself I'd protect him. I won't let anything happen to him.

He's a good guy with a very good head. I trust him.

[And that is huge. Garrus doesn't trust easily, doesn't trust a lot, but d'Artagnan has proven himself.]

And you underestimate what you can do, Hanna. I've got guns. But I don't have some sort of ability. Power. I'm no biotic, no fire-wielder. Anyone can learn what I do. I can't learn what you do. He's in good hands, Hanna.

[That's... not what she precisely meant but still, it's nice to hear.

She runs her fingers through her hair. Aeryn trusts her to handle people, at least. She's got that going for her.]

Doesn't matter. He's got me, and so do you.

I do. And I appreciate both of that.

[A beat.]

That I have you and that d'Artagnan does too. You've got me too. You've got a bunch of people. And we'll figure out the black box. We'll get this handled.

[Now she takes a sip.]

Yeah. One step at a time, for now.

[His mandibles flare out in a smile.]

That's the only way to do it, Talbot.

[Settling back against the wall, Garrus raises his empty cup and taps it to hers.]

To working this out, one step at a time.

[She nods and smirks.]

To figuring shit out, yeah?

Exactly.

[And they will. He doesn't always have faith, but right now he thinks he can manage a little.]

[She smirks as little harder as she bumps his shoulder.]

IC Contact - Consignment

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

/wraps and puts a bow on?

sounds good