forgivetheinsubordination | IC Contact

[ Garrus' words are meant to be reassuring, but Noh-Varr doesn't find them so. Parker's words echo in his mind: you want to belong to this. Does he? His thoughts become scrambled thinking about it. Does he fit in because the work complements his experiences, or does the work suit him because he fits in?

Has Garrus ever known exile? Noh-Varr is not just a bad Kree; he's no Kree at all. Earth doesn't want him any more than Hala does. So which is he, false Kree or false human? He'd gone from security, a steady place in the universe, to drifting between two civilizations. He'd been content not to care, but here, he doesn't have that luxury. ]

I'm not losing myself. [ It feels like the opposite. Like he's being forced to discover the person hiding beneath his skin all this time. ] Don't put me on a pedestal, Garrus.

[ He wonders what will happen if Garrus finds that the person Noh-Varr is becoming doesn't match his expectations. He hasn't mislead, Garrus tells him. Garrus knows about his background, knows what Noh-Varr is capable of. His interpretation of that is positive bias. Noh-Varr hates being a disappointment. ]

What makes you think Macha would have troubled me in the first place?

[ It does, on some level, but that isn't the point. He wants to know where the discrepancy lies. ]

Because it's putting someone on a pedestal to notice their good qualities. Even when you're seeing them.

[There's confusion in his voice. Noh's talking about putting a part of himself aside and Garrus doesn't know where that can lead that's possibly good. The question only adds to how much Garrus is at a loss.]

And I figure this is going to trouble anyone with a conscience. Not enough to make them stop, because the weight on the other end of the scales is pretty damn high, but we're going to have to kill every man, woman, and child on that planet.

[The confusion fades, to be replaced by a little frustration. Garrus hates what they'll have to do. But there is literally no choice in the matter.]

Green especially, if Ajna is anything to go by.

[ He clicks his tongue, reaching up again, his frustration ubbling up. His hands settle on either side of Garrus' face. Does it really help for them to have this discussion now? They both know what's ahead. This is only serving to upset them both. ]

Save your concern for when you'll need it, Garrus.

[ He doesn't bother trying to explain the kind of perspective dimensional travel gives you; even now he struggles to piece his emotions together. He suspects he won't know how to really feel about what's coming until it arrives--and figures the same for Garrus. ]

Let me stay with you for a little while.

Edited 2015-02-02 07:14 (UTC)

[He takes a breath, meeting Noh's gaze. There's no desire for a fight in him. No, rather, he knows how hard the upcoming mission may well be and he doesn't want to disrupt this time. Leaning forward, into the touch, his forehead touches Noh-Varr's.]

As long as you want.

[All may go to chaos on the planet's surface. Gliese's message has shown where are few cracks are, where he needs to help out. He has a half-dozen people who will be far more troubled than Noh, and no idea how to protect them all. At least right now he can have this moment.

His hands slide around Noh's waist, urging his lover closer.]

There's no one else I'd rather be with.

[Macha can bring its problems in its own time. But it is not here yet.]

IC Contact - Consignment

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