forgivetheinsubordination | IC Contact

[He watches her move the gun away before looking up at her face.]

I can handle guns in my sleep. And yeah. I wanna be teaching. I...

[Garrus needs the distraction. He doesn't want to dwell, but he can't shake this.]

Broke up with Noh-Varr. Trying to find things to do so I'm not thinking about it. It's not working that well.

[And yet it had needed to be done. He knows that. He just wishes he could convince himself that it's true.]

...Maybe you're distracting yourself the wrong way. Unless teaching is fun to you.

Normally it is.

[His voice is quiet as he shoves his hands in the pocket of his hoodie, the hoodie that Noh-Varr had given him. It's warm and comfortable and Garrus isn't ready to put it away for a while yet.]

Never broken up before. Don't know any other way.

Never been broken up before either, so I can't help you.

[...Granted, to be broken up, she'd have to have someone to break up with. But talk to her about unrequited love, Garrus. That's a thing Erin understands all too well.]

So? Did he leave you or did you leave him?

[He doesn't know if he wants to talk about it, really, but he had invited her out here and nothing else is helping. Maybe talking will.]

I left him.

[He can't regret it and yet he does. It had to happen. There hadn't been a way to move forward that wasn't going to hurt one or the both of them more, but already Garrus misses the way he could just curl up with the Kree and talk. His choice had taken that from both of them.]

I love him. And he wasn't going to return that. All I... All I could have done was prolong things until there was nothing left to prolong.

[A slow decline that would have left all of the memories tasting like ash. At least he could still hold on to them, this way.]

Loving someone who doesn't love you back is pretty stupid. That was your first mistake.

[Poor Garrus. If he was hoping for a sympathetic ear, Erin's just ran out. The things Garrus is saying are hitting a little too close to home for her comfort, so she tunes him out entirely and lifts the gun again. Distractions are good. Aiming at a tree, even better.]

How do I shoot things?

No, really.

[There's bitterness in his voice.]

Good to know you can just decide not to do that. Some of us haven't evolved to that point yet. And you shoot things by learning the gun, learning how to aim the gun, taking the safety off, and firing.

[If you want to state the obvious, Erin, you can get some obvious statements right back.]

Do you wanna tell me my mistakes, or do you wanna learn?

I'm still here, so I wanna learn. Where's the safety?

[Don't you buzz at her like that, Garrus, she's helping distract you!]

Stand up straight.

[Telling him he shouldn't have fallen in love with someone who didn't love him back isn't helping, in his opinion. He already knows he'd been stupid.]

The safety's on until you're standing straight and holding the gun right, and then it can come off. Speaking of, you hold it like this.

[He takes his own rifle and models how to stand. There's some annoyance in his subharmonics still, but at least he's not dipping back into the sadness.]

[She makes a face at the continued tone of his subharmonics, but she stands up straight and mimics the way Garrus is holding his own weapon.]

Like this?

[She lets it dip--deliberately sloppy? Maybe.]

[He just wants to be loved back. That shouldn't be too much to ask. Except it is, and he shakes his head before reaching over and gently correcting the way she's holding the gun.]

If it's too heavy, we can work on weight training instead.

[There's no judgement to that. She's not used to dealing with weapons, and weapons are heavy.]

[More things she knows all too well. Someday she'll tell Garrus about Garrett, but now is not that time.]

No thanks. I do weight training and suddenly I can't slip into the small places anymore. I'll pass.

[She lets Garrus correct her and...then holds it slightly sideways.]

Better?

Better, but not there yet.

[He's not sure if she's doing this on purpose or if she's just that bad with weapons. It's not annoying, but it does make him wonder if she's trying.]

Here.

[He shifts her hands again.]

Feel the weight of it, just like that. Let it balance in your hands so that you can hold it steadily. You don't want the gun shaking or loose.

[The more he has to correct her, the less he talks about things she doesn't want to hear. So that's good.]

I'm glad mine is small.

[She holds it loosely, not enough to drop, but definitely too loose to be safe if she actually fired--yes, Garrus, this is definitely deliberate at this point.]

Small, but still dangerous if you hold it wrong. Are you trying to learn, or not?

[Garrus puts his hands over hers, tries to tighten them around the weapon.]

Be safe and secure, Erin. Don't handle a gun if you're not gonna pay attention.

I'm learning.

[She was less difficult with Garrett, years ago, but she was smaller and shyer then, too.

Still, she is paying attention, and she lets Garrus correct her as needed, holding it properly at last. Almost comfortably. She'll pick this up quick once she deigns to put her mind to it. Better?]

[She is, and his mandibles draw in again. He's being harder on her than he tends to be, and while a fraction of that is because of what she'd said, most of it isn't her fault.]

Right. All right. And that looks good. Take a minute, get used to the weight of the gun there, yeah? Because once you are, we'll move to looking through the scope and finding targets, but I don't wanna rush.

I thought it would be harder than this.

[She says now. She'll change her mind after she fires it and experiences an actual firearm's recoil.

Experimentally, she looks through the scope, sights down it toward a distant stump.]

How do I take off the safety? I kinda want to shoot something.

[It'll be fun.]

[This is going to be a disaster. But at least it could be a controlled disaster. Garrus reaches over and turns the safety off.]

Like that, but keep your finger off the trigger until you've aimed, and breathed. Once in, once out, then fire.

[He's not sure she'll listen.]

[Miracle of miracles, she does actually listen. For all that Erin is a difficult child sometimes, she is aware of the fact that Garrus is experienced and she knows jack shit about this thing in her hands. So she takes a breath, lets it out slowly, and just like a crossbow, squeezes the trigger.

On the upside, she hits the stump.

On the downside...yeah, remember that thing about thieves and sudden loud noises?

Judging from her yelp it's probably an even bigger miracle she didn't drop the gun.]

[Garrus jumps at the yelp, moving forward on instinct to put one hand under the barrel of the gun and his other on Erin's back as he tries to figure out what just happened. She yelped. Why? As soon as the moment of shock and reaction is over, he's... not sure. He blinks and tilts his head at her.]

Uh. You okay?

[If it was possible for a person's face to resemble an emoticon, she's definitely a 8C right now. Eyes wide, mouth somewhere between pout and frown.

...She's embarrassed.]

I'm fine.

[Ok, if she's snapping at Garrus that badly, she's really embarrassed.

Thieves and loud noises. Bad combination. And, okay, yes, she's technically already heard this brand of loud noise, but it was her causing it this time, and it's just different okay?! Don't judge her.]

[Garrus slips the safety back on.]

Let's call that an end to the lesson for today. We can give it another go tomorrow.

[Because she's snapping and probably won't be in a learning-more mood, and he's not sure how much patience he has after the day's earlier events.]

[That is probably for the best. Erin is clearly going to need a little more time to get used to weapons that make loud sounds. She makes a soft, frustrated noise, but doesn't stop Garrus from slipping the safety on. Ending the lesson there is probably for the best; she really isn't meant for this kind of weapon.

Her poor crossbow.]

At least you know I'm not gonna be shooting anyone in the foot anytime soon.

[She could always see if there's someone who doesn't mind parting with theirs. Like Temeraire.]

There's that, at least.

[Provided she keeps the safety on and handles the gun with care.]

I'll expect you to remember how to hold the gun at next lesson.

[No backsliding allowed.]

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