forgivetheinsubordination | IC Contact

Your crew? [ She looks at him now, a small light of curiosity finally cutting through her depression. ] What do you mean, crew? [ A beat. ] Were you a pirate?

[ She's not joking. The question is asked in total and complete innocence. ]

[Garrus eyes her, wondering if he's being teased. After a moment, he decides he doesn't think Xion would have a good poker face and this looks pretty convincing.]

No. Not a pirate. We went after some pirates. I serve on a space ship.

[Which, he realizes a moment after the words are out of his mouth, might not make sense to her.]

Star travel. Not a flying wooden boat, it's metal.

[ That gets a quiet little laugh. ]

I know what a spaceship is, Garrus.

[ And yet she assumed piracy before space travel. ]

Sorry. It just sounded familiar, I guess. I've met pirates before. Well, sort of. It feels like a long time ago, now.

Right.

[He shrugs and ducks his head, a little self-conscious.]

Already forgetting we were just on the Neheda. Already seems so far away, but I've always preferred being on a spaceship to being planetside.

[ For some reason she seems to find his forgetfulness on that topic sweet, and perks up just a little. ]

It's okay. I don't blame you. So much has already happened, it's hard to believe we haven't been here longer. [ Tilting her head back, she gazes up at the sky, sighing through her nose. ]

What was it like, being up there all the time? It's so dark. I think I'd miss the sky.

You're among the stars.

[His voice goes quiet, thoughtful.]

The sky is black, but everywhere you look, there's light. White, red, blue, yellow. Sometimes you go into nebula and there's a thousand colors there, all glowing. And then you're on the ship, too. Ships are never dark, never empty, never completely quiet. A good crew becomes family so you're never alone, either. You can get lost on a world. One face, blending into the crowd. It's never that way on a ship.
,
[Yeah, he might be slightly in love with serving on the Normandy.]

[ Whoa. Xion finds herself a little moved by his description, and watches him the whole time he speaks. ]

... sounds like you really loved it up there.

I did. I do. Space...

[Garrus shakes his head and looks back over at her with a shrug.]

My home city, Cipritine, will always have a special place in my heart. But my true home is in space.

[ Xion watches him for a moment more, then looks up at the sky again, wistful. ]

Where I'm from, every star in the sky is a world. A world burning with light. I never really thought of space as anything more than just a way to get between all those worlds... but there's a lot more to it than I ever knew.

[ More worlds than she could have ever dreamed of... ]

What was your home city like, Garrus?

[There's the shortest beat before he answers, as he hesitates.]

Are you... sure that it's not that every star has a world orbiting it?

[Because that would make a lot more sense. He doesn't think Xion has some secret ability to walk on suns.]

And Cipritine was beautiful. Silver, straight lines that stretch and swoop as far as the eye can see. Clean. Organized.

[Key word - was.]

[ Huff. ]

I'm sure. I'm starting to understand that... something might be different between my universe, and everyone else's. People talk to me about planets, and moons, and the stars they orbit, but... none of that is anything I was taught. Then again... I didn't have the best teachers.

[ She catches the past tense, and glances at him, cautiously curious. ] ... why do you say was?

It's... a little on fire right now.

[His voice is still light enough, but his subharmonics are heavier.]

We're at war. A species invaded our galaxy, is trying to take everyone out. They had intel on our military and hit us pretty hard. My city is fire and ash right now.

[And he can't ask the CDC to repair it. He doesn't want them ever setting foot on Palaven if he can help it, though he might have already messed that up with his current request.]

We'll rebuild. ...Much as you do from a bad teacher.

[ Her expression is sympathetic, but at least she doesn't cry again. The CDC has instilled so much horror in her already, so much pain. It's the reason she came out here, after all. Hearing Garrus's story tugs at her chest, but doesn't reopen her wounds.

It's morbid, but it might be a good thing she's being exposed to so much existential darkness. Soon she'll grow numb to it all, bit by bit. ]

... I know you will. [ Her faith is quiet, but sure. ] As for me, well... I dunno. I'm not sure how to recover. There's so much I don't know, and I never realized it until I left... this might sound strange, but I really thought I knew how much I didn't know. But now that I'm with the CDC, I'm realizing I had no idea... what's out there, and what I need to learn.

[ Xion curls up, hugging her knees to her chest and still watching the sky. ]

... I'm so scared, all the time. I need to be stronger, or... I'll keep failing. I have to stop getting so upset. If I let my emotions get the best of me, I'll be useless... and then I won't be able to do my job. I can't let that happen.

[After a moment, Garrus puts a gentle arm around Xion's shoulders.]

Finding a balance, finding a way to not be scared, those are tricky things. They're things that come with experience and practice and work. And accepting that there's a lot you don't know is a good first step. It's one everyone has to take.

[She's so small. Intellectually he knows it, but when she talks like this and is close to him, he's reminded of the fact. It almost feels like she could vanish in the blink of an eye, and that worries him a little.]

You'll learn. One step at a time. And you've got people who are here to help you be stronger. Emotionally, by reaching out to them, and physically with training. You're not alone, Xion.

IC Contact - Consignment

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