forgivetheinsubordination | IC Contact

[He's of the opinion that it's not selfish to mourn when you need to. Her father is dead. Will be dead. That's a serious loss and Garrus doesn't think anything poorly of this.]

I don't mind, Tali. And your Aunt's fine. She recused herself. Didn't want to be a part of what the other Admirals were doing. I should have said that from the start but it slipped my mind. She was still rooting for you. You didn't lose them both.

[Because the 'they both' was pretty clear.]

And you've got people on the Normandy. They can't replace what you've lost. But we're here for you. Vas Neema or vas Normandy. Or von, when you drink too much.

[Maybe a tiny joke will help, just a little.]

[It wasn't Shala'Raan. Aunt Raan wouldn't do that to her. And it was ugly little jolt in her stomach to realise that she hadn't questioned it at all. That the geth were more important than her. Than any of them.

But she has Shala'Raan. And she has the Normandy.

And there are people here she has, in a way, as well. Though she can't help feeling like she lives two different lives now; one back on the Migrant Fleet that seems to have fractured, and the one here. The one here that she's not sure where she fits into. And she has...

She gives a sudden, slightly wet hiccough of laughter.] Von? Did I teach you that word?

[Garrus gives her shoulder a tight squeeze before he chuckles.]

You taught everyone that word. We had, have, a get-together. All of the crew. Old and new.

[Minus the lost.]

It's good. And you get drunk. Drunk enough to start giving engine noise demonstrations so that we can all hear the difference between the SR-1 and the SR-2. Someone, Traynor, I think, says if we need a third then you'd have to change your name to Tali von Normandy SR-3, and you told us all not only what that meant, but that it was probably fitting.

[She shoves him a little with her arm, gently, and steps back a bit. She reaches up to rub her eyes, then... and remembers at the last second she shouldn't be touching them. Tutting, screwing up her face as the trickle of tears tickles her skin, she drops her hand.

And then she gapes at Garrus. Well done, Vakarian. You've silenced Tali.] Keelah, I didn't.

[No, she totally did. She can kind of believe it, and her face darkens in a flush.] I don't deserve to live that down.

[And there are still tears shining on her face and she's sniffling every now and then like a child... but she's managing to smile through it, a little. Life goes on. It will go on.] I'm kind of... glad to hear that. It's good to know that I'm still... still me after everything.

[The sentence ends on a slightly upward lilt, a request for some kind of affirmation, though she's not sure if she wants confirmation or just some kind of understanding.] Normandy impressions and all.

[His mandibles flare out a little when she starts smiling and flushing. The blow is still there, but it's softened.]

It only happened a few days before I got here, but I think it's burned into my mind for the rest of time. Just like Wrex, Grunt, and Zaeed taking shots at the bar. Firing shots, not drinking them.

[A beat.]

Grunt's another krogan, as you could probably guess. Zaeed's a human merc. Took some time to grow on me, but he's not bad. And don't worry. Grunt got more drunk than you did.

[She tries, with everything she's got, to focus on what Garrus is saying - on these people she doesn't know, but wants to commit to memory because she will - even though it's hard to drag her thoughts away from admirals and treason and geth. If it had been most other people, maybe she wouldn't have - she'd have wallowed in misery and told herself she deserved to feel sorry for herself just this once.

But he's trying, and that makes her want to try. Want to - not feel like she has to.]

That sounds you were making a really bad joke. Two krogan and a merc walk into a bar and do shots. No survivors.

[Her face twists wryly.] As long as somebody got more drunk than I did, though, I might be able to live it down.

Yeah, you're good. He got drunk, went into one of the bathrooms, turned on the shower, and sat in it mumbling for hours. You just made engine noises and either thought you got an omnitattoo or did. Not... completely sure.

[He hadn't had a chance to ask. Or even the thought to ask. They'd pretty much geared up and gone the morning after, once Miranda's hair had been done and everyone found out that somehow stg members were skilled enough to sneak past each and every one of them. That had been a little disconcerting.]

And hopefully our two krogan, and our merc, and everyone else, walk into this fight and back out of it. And it's the reapers who don't survive.

We've made it this far. Or... [Even she's started using the past tense. This is something.] Or will make it that far, or... or whatever.

[This is another one of those cases where Garrus says something... and she has to let it take a while to register in her mind.]

I really hope I didn't get an omnitattoo. [Now she just looks confused.] Why would I? Where would I?

[So, so many questions.]

We'll make it. Here and back home.

[This time when he holds out his hand, it's solidarity he's offering, not comfort.]

We'll use what we get here, turn the war around even though we're not present. Give them every advantage possible, and it'll be things the Reapers never see coming. And as far as here goes, we've got each other.

[She might know a lot of scattered pieces about the future in front of her thanks to Garrus, but by herself, she's not sure she can be optimistic about it. Part of her wonders what will become of her people now that Rael'Zorah is gone--

--part of her wonders if that's the reason they can broker peace at all--

and the reapers are a colossus looming over them all. There's not a lot she can have faith in - except the people she cares about. And one of them is here telling her they can make it through all of this. She takes his hand, squeezes it, and nods.]

Right. [And then - not sceptical, but genuinely curious:] What can we do from--

[And she sneezes. Deep breath, tries to finish the sentence... and she sneezes again.]

[Oh shit.]

...Might be time to put the helmet back on.

[He sounds calmer than he is, in all but his subharmonics. Garrus knows full well how quickly a cough or a cold can fell a quarian. He's even used it before.]

Feeling feverish? Anything else?

[She nods, mouth closed and a comically earnest look on her face as she tries to figure out if she's going to start sneezing again. Deciding she isn't, she focuses back on Garrus.]

No, not right now. Hopefully... [She reaches over and grabs her mask, spinning it in her hands so that it's ready to just clip on.] If I put this on soon enough, I can head it off.

[But for a moment, before she does, she looks up at Garrus, and there's something of an intensity to it as she takes in his features without the darkening effect of the semi-opaque mask. The scars from something she hasn't even seen him heal from. The markings that are much brighter than she realised. Little details in his plates, skin, eyes she'd never really noticed before. Seeing one of her friends like this is a rarity, a real rarity, and it reminds her of everything she misses day to day.

And then she clicks her mask into place, and there's a twist of regret on her mouth as she does it.]

[He looks back at Tali as she studies him. They never see each other like this. To see a quarian isn't entirely strange, there's vids where some take off their helmets, he's seen some geth records from before when the quarians left Rannoch, but he's only once before seen Tali.

Garrus' mandibles flicker once the mask is on, a little amusement, a little sadness. If she'd been from around his time, would she have had geth programming in her suit already, rebuilding her immune system? Would this have just been one in a series of times when he'd actually get to see one of his dearest friends? He doesn't know.]

So. Scars just as horrific in regular lighting as purple lighting? Or are they worse? I'd lean toward the latter. You have no idea how many krogan women I had to fend off last time we went to Tuchanka. That tends to say something.

[His voice is light. His subharmonics are a different story, a little lower, a little sad. The suits protect the quarians, but they also limit and restrict. Maybe they'll both live to see the day when her people get a little more free.]

[The decontamination sequence burns a little as it passes over her face, and she blinks hard against it. It's over within seconds, and she opens her eyes to find the world back to normal. Not glaringly bright. Slight tinge of purple.

And Garrus, looking... well, normal, insofar as Tali sees normal.]

Oh, I get what they see in you. [She sounds so guileless Garrus has to be able to see what's coming.] Scars, thick head, shoots first and asks questions later... You should definitely think about it. It'd be perfect.

[She's doing her vocal version of a poker face right now, but there's a sag to her shoulders and the slightest list to her frame - she and Garrus might communicate in different ways, but they're saying much the same things right now.

One day. She doesn't know when it'll be, not yet - but one day that purple light won't be normal anymore. And they'll be saying the same things in the same ways.]

[There's probably a lot that could be said right now, sympathy, encouragement, but this isn't the time or the company for that. What's kept them so far is joking around, ignoring the heavy things that they can't change and moving on with what they can. They've already sidetracked into melancholy here for both of them - him with his relationship failure, and her with her father. She's got the heavier of the burdens.]

I might have to.

[And hey. Krogan aren't heavy on love as a culture. There are exceptions, but he wouldn't have to worry about heartbreak again.]

And if that doesn't pan out, I'll sell my services as a makeshift repairer of quarian suits. How's it looking?

[Because that's what had brought him here, after all.]

[Whatever direction she could have expected this conversation to go... this wasn't it. But considering how she remembers the Garrus of two - three, for him - years ago, and what he just had to tell her, even while dealing with his own pain... She's glad it was him to do it. If it had to be done, better to be like this.

She laughs, and finds herself coughing the last of it.] Damn it...

[She clears her throat, hard, as she flexes her arm gingerly - the seal holds, so that's something.] Yeah, it looks good. You've definitely got one loyal customer. One single customer.

[She quirks her head briefly, the smallest smile on her face.] Better get a second job.

And here I was hoping to be able to quit my day job.

[The cough is worrying, but Tali's an adult. If she needs medical attention, she knows to get it, and he'll trust her there. Most people he wouldn't. But the whole 'quarian' and 'weakened immune systems' deal tends to mean they're on the more responsible side of things when they get sick.]

Maybe we can make more suits, together. Tell people they're fashionable. Make some credits on the side.

[Garrus tucks away his tools and straightens up.]

And maybe that can happen after you get some rest. Don't want to let the cough get the better of you.

Quarian suits - function, fashion and never having to use the showers. Maybe I'll finally have some credits. [Her voice is a bit scratchy.

With luck, she can sleep it off - that and the headache coming up behind her temples. Without... well, it's a trip to the medical rover. This was never going to be easy.]

I'll be fine - I'll get some rest, drink fluids... The next time you're here, I'm sure it'll be fine.

[Because really? It's nice not eating alone - and quickly, like it's something furtive.]

[Garrus nods.]

I'm sure it will be too.

[She knows best. Garrus heads for the door.]

Call me if you need anything else, yeah? I'll be right over.

Sure thing.

[She's already stepping towards her bed - there's an odd sort of ache in the back of her throat, and she knows what that means only too well - when she turns back momentarily.]

Hey, Garrus - thanks a lot.

[Not just for offering to help, either.]

[Garrus pauses half-way out the door, glancing back. He wishes the news had been better. But this war, in all of its facets, doesn't give them any better. It definitely doesn't give any of them what they want.

He gives her a nod.]

You've got it, Tali.

[At least they can have each other, and each other's backs.]

IC Contact - Consignment

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