[There's another delay, this time not broadcasted, as Garrus gets up and tries putting his weight on his legs. He's tired. But he can make it.]
On my way over. Can you get cups out? Only wanna bring one fragile thing with me in case.
[In case he trips over his own two feet and the bottle gets shattered. Not like he's entirely sure he could get up again if he does so.
Thankfully Garrus doesn't fall over. He's slow, taking longer than he feels he should to get there, but he arrives with his bottle intact and knocks at the rover door.]
[he does as garrus asks. his movements are slow and measured. he'll have something set up outside, two chairs and a stump of a tree doubling as a table.
he'll greet him as he comes with a wan smile.]
Hope you don't mind being outside - I'm sick of staring at the rover.
My people find being invited to eat outside horribly offensive, but I won't hold that against you.
[His voice is teasing as he carefully takes one of the chairs. Today is the first day he's ever felt old in his entire life, or how he figures it feels to be old - joints and bones and everything aching with every move.
After a moment he fills his cup from his bottle and takes the glass in hand, leaning back in his seat.]
It shouldn't feel this good to sit.
[The teasing is gone, now, his voice distant with edged subharmonics.]
Having said that - would you say that your team has done the best they can? That regardless of each recruit's personal shortcomings - would you otherwise evaluate all your efforts as more than adequate?
[He's quiet for several moments as he goes over every member of their team, analyzing.]
I'd say as a team we accomplished the objective. That we had enough people, took enough notes. If we were to stage an attack on the village tomorrow, I could give approaches and tips.
[A beat.]
But I can't say every person contributed equally. There's a couple... I don't know what they did. But our mission got achieved. If some aren't doing enough, transfer them. Don't punish the ones who did the job.
[he takes a drink.] What I don't understand is why even bother if we're going to destroy Macha in the first place.
[for that to happen - they must want something very badly on their part, and they didn't get it. it's difficult to say this without giving details of their mission to garrus, and he'd rather not break gag rules, but all the same. it makes for a good discussion topic.]
Ours made some sense, in that way. End of Ajna, Green and Red got sent in to eliminate the apex species.
[He's got the liberty of no gag order except against Grey, but with the lack of talking about other orders from other parties he's not quite sure everyone's free.]
This way we know what we're doing when that time comes. And we'll need to be better equipped. The shai were smart, but they weren't quite sentient yet. No weapons, no villages. The neraki...
[Garrus shakes his head. The neraki's capabilities aren't the only reason this fight will be more difficult.]
[so there's a method to planetary destruction. not bad. and garrus is right, the neraki would make things difficult for the recruits ....
but no matter how he looks at it, whether the neraki live or die matters very little to erwin. if they have the advantage of technology at their side, then they will always have the upper hand. and having the upper hand is important to him where his contract is concerned. he may not agree with what the cdc stands for, but he's here to protect his world. and he'll do anything to achieve that.
the extinction of a few species means nothing to him, though it'd be great to understand why and how he failed so that he doesn't end up being collateral for missions.]
We already know they'd be difficult. [a sigh.] The lack of feedback on our efforts, however, is problematic. We don't know the Neraki beyond what's written in their files. We can't learn from our mistakes if we are consistently asked to look to our own faults on the matter.
I am, however, not optimistic enough to be given answers on this anytime soon.
I don't think we'll get answers either. Dagger wouldn't have been so cryptic if we were gonna get them. Which implies they don't have any particular feedback to give on this one, really.
[And they're back to fear as a motivation. Every conversation he has about this seems to loop back to that.]
This isn't the way anyone I've ever followed would lead. Really don't know how they expect to get any positive results from it. People who react out of fear of punishment are a step closer to broken, and aren't as effective. Not only that, they know they're not appreciated. That they don't matter. Any results the CDC gets here aren't going to be as good as they could be with constructive treatment.
Dagger's normally the most forthcoming out of all of them, isn't he? [at least, from what he's seen of his responses to people anyway.]
I've been in this position before - can't exactly say I enjoyed it either. But you know, Garrus, when your options are 'do or die', there's very few reasons for someone to lash out regardless of how confusing or frightening the situation is.
Someone might want us to break. The expectation is that all of us will pull together and carry through regardless, and hopefully an explanation will be found somewhere in between.
I'm not sure if they thought we mattered in the first place. After all, the only thing we truly own in this place are our contracts, nothing more.
Dagger's better than Gliese or Neheda or Honey when it comes to answers, but Warriorhead and Armada are more reliable as far as giving an answer that's actually useful. No real clue on Ghost. Spoke with him... twice, I think. Never with Hornet, Flux, or Gale. But you're probably right on the other. We won't matter to them for a while yet.
[Not until they've been around for a hundred years at least. Not until the instructors decide they may just be sticking around. And maybe not even then. It's entirely possible none of them will matter ever. The Normandy's crew had added more to their roster and welcomed them in, but Neheda has nothing on Shepard.]
And I'm not sure we're expected to pull together as opposed to pulling apart.
[erwin thinks about what garrus tells him about the instructors. he actually finds gliese and warriorhead similar in terms of their responses - what he's seen and heard, anyway - and as gliese is captain, that she never answers things satisfactorily doesn't really bother him as much considering she's not obligated to do that; and erwin himself has certainly been in the same position, so he's sort of more willing to let that pass. but armada, given that armada heads green, tends to have a more direct way of speaking, like dagger. and he's never found ghost to be cryptic, though he tends to omit a lot of things.
he's never spoken to gale, so he can't really comment on him.]
We'll do what we have to, either way. After two planets, I think people are more inclined to look after each other, given what we go through and what others have gone through. [an amused smile; curiously, he asks - ]
[He watches Erwin for a few moments after he's spoken, noting that the guy doesn't give his impression of the instructors back. Interesting. It's not like he's a fan of this punishment, so Garrus doesn't think Erwin is the sort to go report what Garrus has said, but there's a lack of comparison there. It feels like something Garrus should keep in the back of his mind.
He's also not as confident in everyone looking after each other. In every group you have your ambitious ones, and what's more is this punishment has just singled out a fair portion of the camp, has just highlighted their names and some people will edge away from that.]
The CDC? As home? When I'm the only turian in this crew and they'll drop me on a whim?
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[There'd been nothing he could do when it hit.]
And I drink. Come on over. Don't have much left I can share thanks to species differences, but I can drink mine while you drink yours.
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Thank you. I'll do that when my body no longer feels like staging a revolt.
Any other time, I'd be curious to try your drink despite the differences, but I have to be kind to myself now.
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[There's a pause and a sigh, a creak of bedsprings as Garrus shifts.]
Where are you at? If it's not too far, I may be able to manage.
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But if it's too difficult right now, don't worry - we can schedule it another time.
It's been a very long and confusing week, after all, and it's hardly even begun.
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On my way over. Can you get cups out? Only wanna bring one fragile thing with me in case.
[In case he trips over his own two feet and the bottle gets shattered. Not like he's entirely sure he could get up again if he does so.
Thankfully Garrus doesn't fall over. He's slow, taking longer than he feels he should to get there, but he arrives with his bottle intact and knocks at the rover door.]
> action
[he does as garrus asks. his movements are slow and measured. he'll have something set up outside, two chairs and a stump of a tree doubling as a table.
he'll greet him as he comes with a wan smile.]
Hope you don't mind being outside - I'm sick of staring at the rover.
no subject
[His voice is teasing as he carefully takes one of the chairs. Today is the first day he's ever felt old in his entire life, or how he figures it feels to be old - joints and bones and everything aching with every move.
After a moment he fills his cup from his bottle and takes the glass in hand, leaning back in his seat.]
It shouldn't feel this good to sit.
[The teasing is gone, now, his voice distant with edged subharmonics.]
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[fills his own cup, leans back. they look like old men. erwin at least feels damn old, but this is only the beginning of things.]
I'd rather be walking, really, but .... can't do much when I'm still in pain, even now.
[he glances at him.] I'm guessing you know as much as I do with regards to the why and how of this scenario.
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[The edge is still definitely there. Garrus is bitter. Some people he cares for deeply have been hurt, and it feels like a trust has been broken.]
But I can tell you all sorts of things about my people, if that's a better topic.
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Having said that - would you say that your team has done the best they can? That regardless of each recruit's personal shortcomings - would you otherwise evaluate all your efforts as more than adequate?
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I'd say as a team we accomplished the objective. That we had enough people, took enough notes. If we were to stage an attack on the village tomorrow, I could give approaches and tips.
[A beat.]
But I can't say every person contributed equally. There's a couple... I don't know what they did. But our mission got achieved. If some aren't doing enough, transfer them. Don't punish the ones who did the job.
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[he takes a drink.] What I don't understand is why even bother if we're going to destroy Macha in the first place.
[for that to happen - they must want something very badly on their part, and they didn't get it. it's difficult to say this without giving details of their mission to garrus, and he'd rather not break gag rules, but all the same. it makes for a good discussion topic.]
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[He's got the liberty of no gag order except against Grey, but with the lack of talking about other orders from other parties he's not quite sure everyone's free.]
This way we know what we're doing when that time comes. And we'll need to be better equipped. The shai were smart, but they weren't quite sentient yet. No weapons, no villages. The neraki...
[Garrus shakes his head. The neraki's capabilities aren't the only reason this fight will be more difficult.]
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but no matter how he looks at it, whether the neraki live or die matters very little to erwin. if they have the advantage of technology at their side, then they will always have the upper hand. and having the upper hand is important to him where his contract is concerned. he may not agree with what the cdc stands for, but he's here to protect his world. and he'll do anything to achieve that.
the extinction of a few species means nothing to him, though it'd be great to understand why and how he failed so that he doesn't end up being collateral for missions.]
We already know they'd be difficult. [a sigh.] The lack of feedback on our efforts, however, is problematic. We don't know the Neraki beyond what's written in their files. We can't learn from our mistakes if we are consistently asked to look to our own faults on the matter.
I am, however, not optimistic enough to be given answers on this anytime soon.
no subject
[And they're back to fear as a motivation. Every conversation he has about this seems to loop back to that.]
This isn't the way anyone I've ever followed would lead. Really don't know how they expect to get any positive results from it. People who react out of fear of punishment are a step closer to broken, and aren't as effective. Not only that, they know they're not appreciated. That they don't matter. Any results the CDC gets here aren't going to be as good as they could be with constructive treatment.
no subject
I've been in this position before - can't exactly say I enjoyed it either. But you know, Garrus, when your options are 'do or die', there's very few reasons for someone to lash out regardless of how confusing or frightening the situation is.
Someone might want us to break. The expectation is that all of us will pull together and carry through regardless, and hopefully an explanation will be found somewhere in between.
I'm not sure if they thought we mattered in the first place. After all, the only thing we truly own in this place are our contracts, nothing more.
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Dagger's better than Gliese or Neheda or Honey when it comes to answers, but Warriorhead and Armada are more reliable as far as giving an answer that's actually useful. No real clue on Ghost. Spoke with him... twice, I think. Never with Hornet, Flux, or Gale. But you're probably right on the other. We won't matter to them for a while yet.
[Not until they've been around for a hundred years at least. Not until the instructors decide they may just be sticking around. And maybe not even then. It's entirely possible none of them will matter ever. The Normandy's crew had added more to their roster and welcomed them in, but Neheda has nothing on Shepard.]
And I'm not sure we're expected to pull together as opposed to pulling apart.
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he's never spoken to gale, so he can't really comment on him.]
We'll do what we have to, either way. After two planets, I think people are more inclined to look after each other, given what we go through and what others have gone through. [an amused smile; curiously, he asks - ]
Do you think of this as home?
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He's also not as confident in everyone looking after each other. In every group you have your ambitious ones, and what's more is this punishment has just singled out a fair portion of the camp, has just highlighted their names and some people will edge away from that.]
The CDC? As home? When I'm the only turian in this crew and they'll drop me on a whim?
[Garrus snorts.]
No. Do you?