forgivetheinsubordination | IC Contact

[Thinking is not either of their strong suits at this point. It's not exactly a conversation they'd be having if they were both calm and healthy.]

Do you think wiping out planets isn't giving up who we are? Really?

[Everything about this is horrendous. Trying to keep her head down and not make it any worse than it has to be... She doesn't understand what's so much worse about that than what anybody else is doing. She's tapping a foot, hands unable to stay still she's so agitated.]

I went to the Shadow Broker because I was gave in to fear. I'm here because I'm afraid for Rannoch and I gave in. You can't make this as simple as... [She gestures uselessly.] As fight them or you may as well kill yourself.

Thanks, by the way. [And the tone of voice, the words, they're not her, they're too rough and bitter to be her because he just had to bring up the suit, had to push... and as soon as she says them, she stops dead. Swallows. Takes a deep breath.]

Can we stop talking about this?

[He's taking a breath of his own to argue his point, especially after her 'thanks' which wasn't any sort of thanks at all, when she makes her request. Can they stop talking about it. Stop talking about her just giving in. But more than that, stop counting on her for when it comes time to take down the CDC because he will never stop aiming for that. Especially now.

It hurts to think that maybe when the cards are all in play, she won't be with them. Because he knows where Shepard stands, has a feeling Joker will be just as up with taking them down, but until this very moment he'd expected Tali to be along... and he can't even make that clear.

Garrus looks down, takes a couple of steps back and sits down.]

Yeah.

[Maybe there will be a time when she's not frightened and he can edge around it in the future. There's a chance there won't be. As he pours the two glasses, Garrus wonders if he shouldn't just be drinking to ease the pain, but if he should be mourning as well. His voice and ragged subharmonics are sad as he speaks and holds out a cup to her.]

Pick a topic, Tali.

[She doesn't want to stop. She wants to keep going, ask him if that's what this is all about - whether she's willing to fight the CDC or not. Make him ask her outright and tell him the cold truth: not while they have a hold over Rannoch.

She wants to stop feeling like she's having to choose between her friends and her people, like she's failed some kind of test.

But she stops. Takes a breath. Plucks the cup out of his hand and, for a moment, stares blankly down at the gasoline-coloured liquid. Then she takes a drink. There's a clear moment when the look on her face settles from a desolate, helpless anger to something calmer.]

You're letting me choose a topic? Hmm. [This is Tali trying her damndest to recover this to something normal. She moves to sit down, gingerly.] I should wait for you to be more drunk before I start asking about you and Noh-Varr, huh.

[Garrus chuckles at that, taking a sip of his own brandy. When they're not in pain he'll try again. When she's not terrified. He can't give up yet, because she's Tali. Of course she'll stand with them. Right?]

If you wait for me to be drunk, I might not be able to explain any of it.

[He swirls the liquid around, looking into it.]

I... [A shrug.] Fell into it accidentally. He's attractive. Like a magnet, and when you've got metal in your hide...

[His mandibles flare just a little as he deflects some. The whole of the relationship is complicated and he's not even really sure where to start.]

[Maybe she'll come round - maybe circumstance and perspective will change her mind. For now... Well, better that they changed the subject.

She snorts at the joke, softly, but there's a thoughtful sort of look on her face as she watches him.]

You're really serious about him.

[Her original comment had been half-teasing; she didn't really expect the answer she got.]

[Garrus takes a breath and then another sip of his drink before answering.]

I am. And he's... not so much.

[Now he looks up at her. This isn't exactly a safer topic, but at least it's one he's mostly come to terms with.]

Broke up with him because he wasn't interested in being into anyone. He didn't want to care like that. When that changed, when he got open to it, [another shrug,] that's when I decided to take another chance. But I'm not his only.

[And he's not even sure he's that special to Noh, some days. But that's not a burden you put on the shoulders of a friend. Especially when she's already got enough.]

Weird thing, realizing you might actually want something serious when you fall for someone who doesn't. Really wasn't looking for that.

[Her thoughtful expression tightens a little into concern - and then, at a certain point, her brows shoot up. When he finishes, she's looking down into her drink, quiet for a moment, and then:]

Sorry, I didn't mean to dredge this up. But I-- [A clear note of incredulous anger seeps into her voice.] He's with somebody else?

[To Tali's ears, without the proper context and knowing what's going on, just sounds a hell of a lot like, 'Noh-Varr is cheating on her friend'. And she's more than ready to get righteously indignant on Garrus's behalf.]

[He realizes he's explaining this wrong and his mandibles draw in to his face. Or maybe he's explaining it right and she's angry anyway, he's not sure. But he doesn't want her to be angry.]

He doesn't want something exclusive.

[Every time he says it out loud, he has to confront how poor a decision it sounds all over again. He'd been pretty sure that Noh really cared, that Garrus really mattered to him, but he's seeing the Kree spread himself thin and Garrus is starting to have some doubts. He doesn't like the doubts.

He wants Noh, he wants this to work. They just need to find some time that isn't chaos to talk and reconnect, he thinks. Macha's been a mess. They've got to be due for a break sometime here. A break, time to be the two of them.]

He's not ready for that. Don't know... [Garrus takes a breath.] Don't know if he will be, or when.

Oh. I see. [She looks quite taken aback and her voice is uncertain enough that it should really be clear that she doesn't see.]

Well, I thought you meant you'd... I don't know, caught him with somebody. [She looks down at her drink for a moment. Is the honesty better? She's not sure.]

Maybe I'm not the best person to give romantic advice. [Crushes and gossip and romance vids are not a genuine foundation in these things.] But I do know that loving somebody and feeling like you're not enough for them is hell.

[She takes another drink.] If you can avoid that, do it. Any way you can.

Still... working on sorting that out. Maybe I'm being stupid, but I keep thinking one day, sometime, maybe he'll realize what he's got. That it's not limiting to be more focused. I don't know, Tali. I... I'm really into him. Didn't like not being with him, but I needed that break.

[Garrus shakes his head. She doesn't see, but he can't blame her because he doesn't see sometimes either.]

I hear that you've made insteps yourself, though. Got Niko pulling off his shirt for you, rushing to help you when you're coughing up blood...

[It's so much safer a topic than the one of him and Noh-Varr. So much simpler, or so he hopes.]

[It's difficult to blame him. Hard to know what she'd do in the same situation - it's easy to stand back on the sidelines and tell him what he should do. Judging and having opinions is much easier than being the one actually feeling these things.

And she's lifting her glass, ready to take another drink and then say something... she's not sure what... when his first words make her pause with a genuinely confused look on her face - and then she freezes, squinting at him.]

How did you... ['How did you know about the shirt thing' is probably not the best first question to ask. However, stopping the question there is probably even more incriminating, so she can't win.]

He didn't pull his shirt off. He pulled it up. There's a difference. [... Somehow she makes those sentences sound somewhat dignified.] We were talking about anatomy. And he was drunk.

[That explains a hell of a lot of things in any given situation, but the fact that Tali can't hide a grin at just how drunk he was probably isn't helping her.]

And I hope if I'm ever in your rover coughing up blood, you'll rush to help me as well.

[That's just common courtesy, Garrus, you big bully.]

[Bait taken, far better topic engaged.]

He only pulled it up, during an anatomy discussion? Maybe you have a point, then. I mean, damn, Tali. I thought you'd know how to get a guy out of his shirt by now.

[He sounds a little bit like himself, now.]

You went over to his rover for comfort, and he's only pulled his shirt up. Do you need a... what's it called. Wingman? At least I've gotten someone's shirt off here.

[And more, but they both know that and there isn't a need to go into too-many-details territory here. Garrus takes a drink quickly, knowing that it's entirely possible she could turn things right back around on him - which means he needs to swallow fast and avoid risking choking.]

Maybe I do have a point. [... That's not helpful either. No, there's no winning this.

There is going to be no explaining this. She could get defensive, insist that she is perfectly capable of being friends with someone without trying to get them naked, or that what exactly is she supposed to do with any human once their clothes are off anyway.

... She thinks the latter and then her brain immediately supplies several things because this is a great time to have an imagination. Either way, she really can't win. He'll never shut up now.

If all she's going to get here is pyrrhic victory, so be it.]

Just the shirt, Garrus? Really?

[Tali's great talent for sounding totally serious while she's actually smirking behind her mask: revealed. Her mask is a few feet away and can't help her now.]

You know, Tali, if you're gonna go around without your mask, we're gonna have to work on your facial expressions.

[Because he can see that. And if she wants to open that door, then by all means, Garrus is going to make her regret it. What are friends for?

He leans forward, mandibles flaring.]

His suit is actually one piece. All comes off together. Taken it off multiple times, but I prefer when he takes it off. Should I go on? Want some details about human-like anatomy so you'll be ready when Niko takes a little more off? If he does?

Are you offering to teach me how to keep a straight face? [During this kind of abjectly stupid conversation? They don't stand a chance.

Anyway, Tali had expected Garrus to be a bit more squeamish, and there's a split second where she wonders if she should quit while she's ahead (or rather, quit while she's behind). But then, it's that or turn the conversation back on herself.

Barrelling on.]

All in one piece? Sounds inconvenient - you should look into that. [Things she never thought she would say to Garrus, part... umpteen. And then:] Wait, 'human-like'? Have you been comparing?

[...He thought that he had this conversation won. Apparently he'd been wrong. Because sure, he'd totally go for something that came off all at once, it's the other part that trips him up. Garrus shrugs, trying to seem nonchalant.]

May have been with two humans. Here. Didn't actually compare, but there's definite similarity.

[He swears he doesn't have some sort of xeno fetish, Tali.]

Ajna's end was stressful, gotta do something to relax. Which means I might be able to help you figure out how to get more off of Niko, too.

[Please let the redirect work.]

[She'd been messing with him - and got a way better answer than she could have expected. Tali totally doesn't do 'shit-eating grins', but if she did... No, actually, that's exactly what it is.]

You may have been.

[She pauses, takes a drink, then leans forward, forearms on the table.] I'm impressed, Garrus. I used to think you were really xenophobic a couple of years ago... and now you're trying to give other people advice.

[There's still a chance he doesn't have to completely lose here.]

Well. When someone clearly needs it, why wouldn't I help? It's starting to sound like you don't have much in the way of experience at all.

[In this game, the points don't matter because everyone loses.]

If I can assist those less... fortunate...

I'm a quarian, remember? I don't have any experience taking people out of their clothes. [She doesn't sound mad - just very wry as she takes another drink.

And no, there are no winners in this game. None.]

And I don't need advice from you, either. No matter how much experience you have.

Sure you don't. I mean, I've certain you've had dozens of romances. Your pilgrimage was just filled with wild encounters. That weren't the Shadow Broker's men.

[Look, Tali. Someone on this crew should find a way to be happy. He's not sure what any day will bring with Noh-Varr, Shepard's a lost cause, and there's no way he can wingman for Joker yet. First Joker has to find out about Noh-Varr and run out of mocking material. Then they could maybe make progress.]

But if you don't want it, then all right. I mean, wing people are helpful. But you know best.

Oh, those. [She flaps a hand dismissively.] Well, you know me, I like to be discreet.

[They'd also have to find somebody who Joker is willing to put up with and vice versa. Tali might be the easier option.]

I really don't need a... a wingman. Not even an expert one like you.

[Tali's a much easier option.]

Sure, sure. Just know that I won't judge you too much when you come back to me all sad-faced and needing advice because something got lost in translation. Which happens.

[Like when he'd accidentally talked about pulling out when he meant to refer to how he'd saved Noh-Varr's life. Oops.]

Then again. Maybe the new Shadow Broker will help you out in the future.

IC Contact - Consignment

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Adult-ish talk beginning here...

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