forgivetheinsubordination | IC Contact

Ah, well...

[ His smile becomes a bit tighter, more awkward, which implies just that idea. Sebastian doesn't know just how much he's missed, and with how Garrus phrases it, he's concerned it might have been even more than he thought. ]

Forgive the underwhelming answer, but I suppose the beginning? Were they a bit more inclined to chat at the start...?

They were. Well.

[There's a beat as Garrus reflects.]

Some of them were. Gliese and Dagger. Heard from them a good amount. Ghost some, too. Armada, not as much, never heard from him unless you went to him all along. Warriorhead... think he's probably about the same. Not really sure anything's changed with Neheda, though. And then Gale's new, never heard from him.

[ Sebastian nods, since that's roughly what he had expected, considering the general attitude towards certain instructors. He seems to consider something for a moment to himself with a momentary furrow of his brow, but it also passes fairly quickly. ]

That does explain why recruits are especially enamored with Dagger, if nothing else... And Captain Gliese commands respect.

[ He smiles, then laughs softly into his hand. ]

Actually, she is quite fearsome, it would seem to me.

[He really doesn't know what he feels about Gliese anymore. There'd been a time when he'd felt closer, worried a little about her, but it seems that hadn't ever been mutual.]

She can be, when she wants to be. Which is most of the time.

[Honestly, he's been disappointed with how cold she's grown, but he doesn't want to talk about that. He'd made friendship overtures, she'd never responded, so... that was that. Probably easier that way, really.]

You seem to be a fan.

[ He shrugs helplessly, and his expression says he is, at least somewhat, rather easily. It takes him a moment to think of how to explain it, but he starts coolly: ]

In a manner of speaking. I am rather enamored with pursuits of revenge. It is a mixture of anger and despair that calls to me particularly strongly, to be quite honest. There is quite a bit of ritual to it, and I will not bore you with the details, but to summon a demon at all, you must have a great want for us. So revenge is a common motivation. When you cannot seize it with your own hands, you must grasp the hands of those who hold the power you seek.

[ He chuckles softly, but it's with a thoughtful and pensive look towards his glass. ]

So our Captain's situation struck me is familiar. Some grasp at a demon's outstretched hand. Perhaps she grasped at the CDC's. Either way, I think you would lose your soul eventually.

Mm.

[That... makes a whole lot of sense, considering Sebastian's knowledge and background. When Garrus had sought revenge, what wouldn't he have done? If Shepard hadn't been there he's sure he would have killed Harkin even as the guy begged for mercy. And he's sure that if he'd gone the whole thing alone, he'd be lost too.

Gliese dwells on revenge. What if she's already lost to everything other than it? It would fit. It would fit a lot of things.]

The CDC is her demon. She made the deal, she's sold away everything, and she's still on that path.

[And there's no turning back. She's already come too far. It really makes a lot of sense.]

I can see that. Damn, I can see that.

That is my thought, at least.

[ He cants his head to the side lightly, a different sort of thoughtful gesture, though it's hard to guess what he might be thinking of. ]

It interested me, seeing this side of her, but it also gives me a better sense of how we fit into this ship, in a sense. If our leader pursues revenge, then every weakness amongst us is a setback to her goal, yes? So perhaps she would rather purge her first ship than see her pursuits go unrealized.

[ He shrugs. ]

Only a guess, of course, since it is harder to see how our Instructors fit in. I have not seen any sign that they are disloyal or even discontent, which would imply to me a particularly strong loyalty.

Edited 2015-05-19 04:07 (UTC)

[There's a long pause as Garrus ponders what to say to that. No signs that they're disloyal or discontent. No, not from them. But... He finally crosses his arms and looks over at Sebastian.]

The captain of the Almina came to find the Neheda's crew. He went to Ajna. He sought them out, after sending a distress call.

[It's not concrete and he knows it. He keeps coming back to it anyway.]

If your ship had just gone rogue, was going to be destroyed... You go for help. You go to someone you think is an ally. Dagger killed him. But he came to us.

[ He's heard pieces of this story before, but never in this way. It gets Sebastian's expression to turn to light surprise, though only briefly. Sebastian thinking through the actions here is almost visible with how his expression shifts. The surprise is replaced by a smile that extends to his eyes, one that's sharp, but in a way that makes it seem like Sebastian has connected two pieces of a puzzle.

He feels he has, at least. He might be wrong, but he has a theory as to how these things might fit together. But how they fit is also something he wouldn't wish to say so candidly. ]

...How interesting.

[ It's all he gives at first, and there's a pause as he thinks through how to use his words carefully. ]

What would make an ally turn so drastically, I wonder? Perhaps... To protect something else?

[That expression is dangerous. Sebastian's got something, or thinks he does, and Garrus really wishes he knew what his words had just made fall into place. He also really wishes he knew without a doubt where Sebastian will be likely to stand eventually. It's not like he's given Sebastian something dangerous, though. This had already been out there.]

To protect something else, or if they moved faster than the others were ready. Anyone dealing with the CDC is playing the long game.

[The sniper's game. The wait for the target to line themselves up in your shot, wait for the moment to be right, game.]

Really like to know what you're thinking right now.

A very long one. One that most here will not survive, to be honest, and I do not mean because of inherent danger.

[ He's still choosing words carefully, since he doesn't feel as if he can share his guess in a straightforward way. He has no evidence to support it, after all, just a guess based on how he views the world and peoples' actions within it. ]

Our instructors are long-lived, that much is clear. So they have been working towards their goals for a very long time, yes? When presented with a weakness, they eliminate it. For the CDC that judges so harshly that one error will lead to destruction. An ally betrayed is no small matter, but if it could not be afforded, for it would draw too much attention...

[ He shrugs, trailing off there, since the end seems obvious. ]

So instead, what would make a rogue ship so certain that they would still find safe harbor here? That is the question that interests me.

Edited 2015-05-22 00:09 (UTC)

I don't know. I've heard the Qohol called a sister ship to the Neheda, but hadn't heard of the Almina until her destruction.

[Alliance. Agreements. Ties. They came expecting help, is what he figures, they had an understanding, and then they were betrayed. But he can't really say that out loud, can he? All he can do is figure that he and Sebastian are probably right about on the same page.]

The Almina was doomed the second the Bilchis knew about her. Maybe others knew that the Bilchis would know sooner or later.

That does seem to be the case.

[ He smiles, then shrugs, though there's a smile in Sebastian's eyes that would seem to confirm those thoughts that they're in the same page or very close to it. ]

It is an interesting game of politics when the biggest player sees all and knows all, yes?

Sees and knows most.

[If it knew all, he'd be dead. Others would be too. Garrus is no fan of the CDC and never will be, and he knows there are some other good people who agree. D'Artagnan. Shepard. Parker. The list is long, and if the CDC had any idea they might just purge the whole ship of recruits right now.]

They hold most of the cards. But nothing's over until the last card is dealt and put into play.

[And then it doesn't always mean what the player thinks it does.]

Basically, nobody's infallible. Ally or enemy. Friend or stranger. And nobody knows what really will happen until it's done.

Fair enough. Though they would at least have us think that they hold every card, which is just as annoying, in some ways...

[ He shakes his head softly, since this does remind him of something, and he brings a hand to his mouth to stifle a soft laugh. He wouldn't ruin the game so quickly, since he has no want or need to, but to Garrus, who has earned Sebastian's respect... He at least gets more of a concession from Sebastian than most. ]

Ah, but they are not all-seeing, you are correct, though they may wish to peek at our hands. I do not believe I need to say it to you, but all the same, do be wary of who you speak to on such matters. Calling them spies would be a rather loaded word, but there are some more loyal than others amongst us, I would say. I would not wish to fling accusations upon what I have noticed, but—

[ He lowers his hand as he gives Garrus a sidelong glance. ]

You may take my opinions as you will, yes?

Edited (i needed to continue the analogy) 2015-05-26 03:03 (UTC)

Of course.

[Also of course Sebastian would have noticed some. Garrus is already wary of Pilot and his fixation on the crew above all, knows where Adrien stands. There are probably more than a few Reds whose loyalty has been won... and he's not even sure what Noh-Varr's take on the CDC is. He has to ask one of these days. Just not yet.]

Even when they 'punish' people, they retain some loyalty.

[Somehow. If he could talk to Armada... But maybe it's good that his Instructor isn't around.]

I'd value your opinion here.

[ He nods, then explains quite easily. With how fluidly he speaks, it implies that this is something Sebastian has thought for quite a while, perhaps even before being contracted by the CDC. ]

Then in my opinion, be wary of those who will find something here. Whatever something may be is quite a large thing, and I cannot easily quantify it... But the CDC offers a unique situation. What we yearn for, what our contracts grant us, these are things we can quantify and work and wish for. The people who pursue their goals without faltering are not those who you should worry about.

[ People like himself, though he doesn't say it. He's not the only one to fall into the category. ]

Rather, it is those that had nothing before, and so here they gain. Those that find acceptance, friendship, family where they had little to none before, they are the ones who I would expect to fulfill such a role. If our Instructors do not take advantage of that loyalty and trust, I would be surprised. It would be greatly to their benefit, after all.

They're not taking as much advantage of it as they could.

[How easy would it have been to win over Erin? He can see how lonely she is. How vulnerable. But this cuff thing? No. They'll have lost any chance at her, he's sure. Xion and Roxas are lonely too, but Ghost had been clear that if Roxas misstepped at all in the future, he'd pay, just as Garrus would.

It's another point toward how much of a mess this is. The instructors simply don't make sense. They don't behave in ways that would show patterns, they aren't logical. About anything. There's no sensible approach. It's almost like they're running scared, some days.]

But it's a good thing to keep in mind. And definitely a group that bears awareness. Everyone wants to belong. How much would they give, or sell out, to gain it? For some, the answer to that is everything. Some never really have a high price.

Oh, no, certainly not! But I also would guess that they do not wish for it to be so wide-reaching.

[ Though it's a darker, dangerous subject, it comes with a light laugh from Sebastian. It comes from a different place, and no one but perhaps Ciel would be able to guess where that amusement comes from, since it's Ciel he thinks of in this case. He had spoken frankly with Gale about his master's strengths, and in Sebastian's opinion, Ciel would be in the category of those who they could take a fuller advantage of if they had the wish to.

His loyalty, once earned, was near unquestioning, after all. He had been tricked into a contract on that very premise, since he had assumed it was from the Queen rather than how Sebastian had been recruited in a very straightforward way.

Of course, Sebastian is glad that the CDC didn't seem to want to push things that way. He didn't particularly mind, but the course his young master was taking now was certainly more interesting... Or rather, more delicious, he thinks. ]

But regardless, I thought this warranted mentioning or a reminder. I had assumed that it was happening, but with recent events, I got a better idea of it.

You see something specifically?

[He shouldn't push. Sebastian is doubtlessly dancing around the topic and name for a reason, not wanting to give too much or show his hand. Garrus can't blame him for that. He can, however, take a chance, make a try of asking the question. If Sebastian defers again, he'll take it as a sign that he won't get an answer, period.]

And you're implying they only want a small portion, which... Yeah. Ties into what Dagger's said before. More survived than were supposed to.

[A few people would be easier to manipulate and manage.]

Concern where it was odd to be given. Nothing more.

[ It's more of an answer than Garrus probably expects, but it's also clear why Sebastian is willing to give it. It doesn't exactly say much about what it was that made Sebastian suspicious nor who it came from. In fact, from anyone else, it would sound particularly paranoid, but with Sebastian's personality, he at least gives the impression that he wouldn't speak of it at all unless he was more certain. ]

All right.

[If Sebastian was bringing it up, it was more, but Garrus wasn't going to get anything else from this. Should the thing turn out serious, maybe he'll get the whole story. Otherwise there isn't a point in pursuing the matter.]

Any more questions, or did that do it?

[ The edge disappears out of his smile with ease as they shift away from such a conversation, and Sebastian simply shakes his head lightly. ]

No, I believe that will do it for now. I would not wish to ask you more without a fuller sense of the answers I am pursuing...

[ So it seems he does have questions, though that's not surprising in itself. Going digging even a little into the mysteries of the CDC would do that rather naturally. ]

But later, I am sure. Once I do a bit more research, I am sure things will come together.

[Garrus nods.]

Makes sense.

[Somewhat. It makes sense from a cautious viewpoint. Garrus just isn't always that cautious. Which sometimes comes back to haunt him. Story of his life, anymore, really.]

I'll hope to have answers for you later, then.

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