forgivetheinsubordination | IC Contact

I don't know, Garrus. If loyalty was what they cared about they wouldn't do this. They want us to be too afraid to say no. That's not the same thing, but it's what they're after.

[ At least, that's his reading. What else can he take from the decisions they've made? It seems obvious to him. You don't win friends by torturing people. Those with a weaker will would react with fear and compliance.

Those with a stronger will would be even less loyal than before. He doesn't see how the outcome could be any different.

He looks at Garrus. ]

You know you shouldn't say that.

[ Not when they might hear. Not when they might be listening right now. ]

You're right. There isn't anything to do, except what they ask. Avoid giving them reason to hurt you again.

[ Avoid giving them reason. Be careful. But don't give up. This situation can't remain as it is. They have to find a way to fight back. ]

[Garrus laughs, but it's not at d'Artagnan.]

You ask what I plan to do and then get after me for answering mildly? They know I'm watching. They know half of Green's watching, d'Artagnan. We're sorted onto teams for a reason.

[They so know.]

Green's the passionate sort, generally speaking. The more do-good mix. The ones that are gonna get worked up. Funny how they do this when our Instructor isn't around.

[ D’Artagnan shakes his head. ]

I asked what you would do so I could make sure it wasn’t this. I don’t want them to hurt you, Garrus.

[ Hurt you again, he means. ]

Or those you care for. You know what the cost is, I don’t have to tell you. I know what it’s like to be angry.

[ He’s angry all the time. It never really goes away. Every time he thinks about all that they must do here, and all that must be taken from them, it makes him furious.

But Garrus had not been like that. He’d been ready to believe in the Instructors. He’d wanted to trust them, and now he sees what d’Artagnan has always known. ]

It wouldn’t have changed anything if Armada were here. He’d have said it was orders. Even Dagger said he was sorry for it, and couldn’t change it. When is the last time Dagger apologised for anything? All their hands are tied. They always have been.

[He leans forward, resting against the table.]

I don't plan on actually causing me or mine to get hurt. I don't want that either.

[There's nothing he can think of that would have caused this. Nothing he'd done, nowhere he'd faltered. The job had been given, he'd gone out and done it.]

If Armada was around... I'd at least have a chance at answers. There's no one else I can ask. Not about this. Angered Warriorhead, not even gonna give apologizing a chance until we know the end result with Armada. The rest? I'll get nothing.

[Maybe there still wouldn't be a difference. His trust in some of them caring has been shattered. They're isolating recruits, harming them. How can there possibly be any good from this?]

[ D’Artagnan shakes his head. With that, at least, he can sympathise. ]

I angered him too. [ Warriorhead. And for similar reasons, he hasn’t apologised. He’s not going to say he’s sorry just because Warriorhead is angry. With what he knows now, he thinks what he said was fair, and it had been Warriorhead’s choice not to explain further. If he knows better in future, he’ll rethink that. For now, he’s stubborn. ]

I don’t know what to tell you. You could try Dagger. He gave out the punishment, he must know the reason. Whether he’d tell you is something else.

[For a moment, Garrus looks even more tired.]

After we talked?

[Because trouble had come after he'd spoken with Erin. He can't even imagine how much more trouble he'd get for potentially, accidentally sending d'Artagnan after a stressed Warriorhead.]

And no. No, I really doubt Dagger's gonna say anything. Especially to a Green.

[There hadn't been the promise of any answers at all from the message Dagger had sent.]

There won't be answers. That's how they want to play it.

[That's how they want to betray anyone who has had faith. Who has trusted and tried.]

[ A nod. ]

After we talked. I wouldn't have known anything about it, otherwise.

[ For good or will, Garrus was the only one who'd mentioned it. D'Artagnan hasn't spread it more widely, either, except to Athos - who, in his mind, is as trustworthy a person as he could possibly tell. He knows his friend will spread it no further. ]

He didn't tell me much, except to ask my questions to Armada when he returned.

[ If he returned, more like. ]

I don't know what to tell you. But I think that you're right. Rarely are there any answers here.

Shit.

[He hadn't betrayed any trust by saying anything, he thinks, but then again, he hadn't thought he had with Mothership either. Still doesn't.]

You didn't... You didn't mention my name, did you? To Warriorhead? I...

[A shake of his head, a frustrated sigh. It's not d'Artagnan's fault even if he did.]

Asked Neheda after we talked if someone could go look for Armada, help him. She said she was taking care of him. By this time someone else was asking me about Armada, what was going on, if he was being helped, and I told her that Neheda was helping already. Figured it would cut down on her stress, that she wouldn't add to what was already on Neheda's shoulders. And instead she pushed for more answers, ones I wouldn't give. So she went to Neheda. Pestered. Pushed. And I got in trouble.

[He snorts, and oh, is his voice bitter as he continues.]

Got called untrustworthy. When I hadn't been asked to keep things quiet. When there'd been no implication of confidence, when it seemed like anyone could ask Neheda things and get answers.

[He's never been called untrustworthy before in his life. But if that's what she wants, that's what Neheda will get.]

[ D'Artagnan pauses, his eyebrow lifting at the initial question. Mention Garrus by name? No, of course he hadn't. He said he'd been told, but not by who. Of course, Warriorhead had worked it out anyway - but d'Artagnan doesn't know that. Garrus' name hadn't been spoken by either of them.

He doesn't have time to answer, though. Garrus goes on, and...

Well. ]

So Mothership is angry with you.

[ That seems like the bottom line. Warriorhead had been angry. Mothership had been angry. And now Garrus' cuff has been turned off. He can understand why the Turian's mood is low. D'Artagnan runs his hand through his hair, before shaking his head. ]

I didn't say who told me. I didn't know Armada was with her, though. [ He glances up, his expression a little worried, because if Garrus hadn't been supposed to share that message, he's just shared it again now. ] I won't tell anyone, don't worry. I'm glad he's safe.

Armada is their friend, Garrus. That much is clear. Warriorhead told me to ask Armada when he returned. You should do that, too.

[He figures he gets the worry. But at this point, he doesn't care if Mothership gets more angry. He's already been through torture with the cuffs for no reason and he had little patience for games to start with. There are far better topics, though. Mothership doesn't deserve his time or his focus.]

Ask Armada what? About the cuffs? About something else?

About what happened.

[ About why they fought. He'd asked, and Warriorhead had been unwilling to say. It had been enough for d'Artagnan to know there was something important he was missing, but he's under the impression that they're brothers. He doesn't even come close to guessing at the truth. ]

I will. When he comes back.

[ Because he has to come back. The CDC wouldn't just allow one of their own to die. ]

What... You mean between Warriorhead and Armada.

[There's a beat and then he shakes his head.]

Know what happened. But it's personal, and not mine to tell.

[Noh-Varr hadn't asked for secrecy, but it's a private matter. Of sorts. Sure, it had taken their lead away for far too long already, but there's grey territory here he doesn't want to tread into.]

If he... If something happens and he doesn't... I'll explain. Still planning on him being back, though.

[ D’Artagnan looks up at him, surprised. That’s not what he expected to hear. ]

Why do you know, if it's personal? I didn’t realise there was such gossip around it.

[ Obviously, his ears have been deaf to any such thing. Now he wonders what he’s inadvertently involved himself in. Damn it all. Why did he go running off like that? He should have just stayed where he was, not engaged Warriorhead at all. ]

[Garrus ducks his head, glancing off to the side. He can't tell the full story there as Noh had asked for discretion.]

There isn't. Doubt many at all know.

[A beat.]

Noh-Varr knows. Wound up running into him after I ran into Warriorhead, expressed why I was confused, he gave me an answer I didn't know he'd had.

[There's another pause before the next bit comes, as he looks back at d'Artagnan to watch the guy's face.]

He didn't have any faith in Armada's recovery. I had full faith until talking to Noh-Varr, and now I... Still think he could make it. He's Armada.

[ D’Artagnan doesn’t say anything at first. He looks somewhere between uncomfortable and worried, and then he looks away from Garrus. ]

We shouldn’t be talking about this. I don’t want to talk about this.

[ Both because it is worrying, and because he doesn’t think it’s their business to discuss it like this, anyway. He regrets how much has been said already, and he’s not going to be a party to any more. ]

I should go, Garrus. I just wanted to see if you were all right.

[Garrus blinks, not really sure why d'Artagnan looks the way he does and wants to go. He hadn't broken any confidences... but they're edging close. And frankly, Garrus is tired. He shrugs.]

Think we're all right on the shouldn't angle. Wasn't gonna go more into detail.

[And maybe that's what d'Artagnan's worried about? Unless there's something else Garrus doesn't know. It wouldn't be the first time.]

Go ahead, though. Thanks for coming by.

[ It feels too much like idle gossip, talking about them like this. D'Artagnan doesn't know exactly what has passed between them, but he knows it's more serious than that. He mostly just wants to leave it alone. ]

Of course. I had to make sure you were safe.

Let me know if you need me, all right, Garrus?

Yeah. I will.

[It could be something human. He's only really gotten top know humans over the last few years. There's always more to learn.

Stiffly Garrus gets up, stretching a little to ease some on the muscle aches, before opening the rover door.]

I'll see you again soon, I'm sure. Let's plan on a better reason next time.

No, no - don't get up.

[ Oh, he already did. D'Artagnan winces, feeling bad for having prompted his friend to move. He holds up a hand, moving to the door to let himself out. ]

It's all right. Get some rest, Garrus. I'll make sure it's a better reason next time.

[ He'll head on out then, and turn his attention towards Medical. ]

IC Contact - Consignment

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your tagbombs, man...

look that's the only way i can get my inbox clear

fair. I think I should resign myself to never having a clear inbox...

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