Garrus Vakarian (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
forgivetheinsubordination) wrote2037-04-27 09:49 pm
forgivetheinsubordination) wrote2037-04-27 09:49 pm
Entry tags:
IC Contact - Consignment
vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
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vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
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vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
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no subject
That would make it two. Two of ours.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
What are we doing wrong, Garrus? We've been keeping track of patrols from the beginning, how do we keep losing people?
no subject
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I don't know, d'Artagnan. People know to partner up but they're not doing it, and short of tying them together we can't make them stay with people.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
All we can do is what we've been doing, and it still isn't enough. Somehow we're not doing enough even though we're giving orders and we're everywhere.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I've seen you out there. Figure you've seen me. We've been everywhere turianly possible.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Turianly, humanly. Personly. And it's not making a difference.
no subject
But it is. He can't help feeling that they're letting their people down. It doesn't matter what they do, they keep losing their own team members. It can't be a coincidence that they've lost so many of their own. ]
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
I haven't stopped moving since this started. I know you haven't, either. We have a safe zone, we have schedules, we're sending people in groups and not alone and we're still losing them.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
I don't know what to do anymore. There's more people missing than dead, what does that mean? Where are they? Why can't we find them?
no subject
I wish I had an answer to any of that. I don't know what more we can do. And if we try skipping sleep we're gonna have instructors on our heads about that but we've got people gone.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Bostova might have gone hunting by herself. She was angry enough to. Javik? He's arrogant, but he's not stupid. He should have taken someone along and he'd know I would expect that.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
And I've been through so many corridors. You've been through them. They're not transferred. Neheda told me that herself. Shouldn't someone have some way of finding people on the ship?
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
It's a ship, a closed space. And they're missing. I can't begin to figure this out.
no subject
I don't know. That's what I don't understand. It's not as if someone could just cross the border and never be seen again. Even if they're dead, they must be somewhere.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
Unless there are sections we don't know about? Like the ones the new people were inside. We didn't know there was anything behind there before.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
But surely the Instructors would know about that. And for better or worse, they've seemed as confused as we are.
no subject
The Instructors have to know this ship. It's theirs. They've got access to the areas, they've explored it. It's what you do when on a new ship.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
But there's still a lot of info they don't think falls under need-to-know, and some of that is the ship itself. Gonna be a while before we wind up trusted enough for that, by the looks of things.
no subject
We don't exactly have time to wait to be trusted. People are missing now. What if we're overlooking the obvious?
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
There must be something we're missing, or this wouldn't keep happening.
no subject
No, you're right. But I don't know what it is we could be failing to think of. I don't even know how the hole in Neheda security is this big.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
No reply from Javik, and the missing list is what, 20 long? How do you lose that many people on a ship? They can't go anywhere. This doesn't make sense.
no subject
You can't, it's impossible. Living or dead, they have to be somewhere unless they've been transferred.
[ So either the lack of transfers is a lie, or someone is hiding them in a place that the teams don't know about. Both of which imply they have an enemy on the inside here, working against them.
Imagine d'Artagnan's lack of surprise. ]
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
I just don't know what to do about that. It's starting to feel like there's nothing we can do at all.
no subject
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I'm not coming up with any ideas. We're missing two Leapfrogs, I'm missing two crew, and I'm feeling useless.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I almost miss Ajna right now. It wasn't great, but we could do something.
no subject
I can't go that far. Ajna saw us lose people too, and I remember their bodies being sprinkled over camp by an enemy we never caught.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
It's not just the ship, Garrus. It's all of this. We will never be safe so long as we're with the CDC. It seems to come with the job.
no subject
We'll catch them. They came after us once and got away. They'll feel confident and try again, and this next time, we'll stop them.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
But you're right in that there's always something else. Life's always got something else. There's never a moment when you're really safe, unless you're a civilian and far from everything.
no subject
There’s a difference between the danger of a soldier’s life, and this. You know there is, and besides that, half the people here are supposed to be civilians anyway.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
There are people like Hanna, who was never trained to fight before. And like Arya, who’s a child, and now she’s one of the missing. They ought to be far from this. They ought to be safe.
[ And yet neither one of them would have been any safer in their own worlds, anyway. D’Artagnan knows this. He knows both their stories, knows where they come from. His problem is that it seems so wrong to him, worse than dishonourable. Why is it that what’s right or wrong seems so meaningless here? Is it really such a strange thing to want to act on that basis? To want to defend, and protect people, because that’s what ought to be done, and not just because it’s a job? ]
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
Don’t tell me this is just how life is. We owe it to those we’ve lost to be better than that. For their sake, and for everyone we still protect.
no subject
I know we need to do better. I don't know how. Slept the minimum needed. Trained only a little. Stood still only when at a post. Kept in touch with everyone I needed to. Know you did the same.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
What didn't we do that we should have done? What else do we need to focus on?
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I know there's a difference, I know we need to do more, and half the time here neither of those things matter. We can't protect them any more than anyone else when there's nothing we can do.
no subject
I don't know either. I just don't want to put this all down to inevitability.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
You're right, of course. We're doing everything we can.
no subject
It's not inevitable. I'd like to think we still protected some. I don't know if it's true, but we were there.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
You're right too. We'll adapt. Somehow.
no subject
I hope so. I don’t want to lose anyone else.
no subject
I hear you. And I agree. No more Artillery losses.
no subject
One of us ought to report Javik. Do you want me to do it?
no subject
Please. Rather the disappearance be treated like a Green missing than get sympathy for it being another of my crew. Don't need that weight right now.
no subject
I'll take care of it. We'll keep trying, Garrus. We're not giving up.
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I know. I'm stubborn in the good way. Or so everyone except my enemies think.
no subject
We can ask our enemies' opinion when we catch them.
FROM: dartagnan@cdc.org
Provided they stay breathing long enough for that.
no subject
They will. We need information on top of opinions.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Let me know if anything else comes up. I'll do the same.
no subject
I will.
[ He'll sign off for now. ]