forgivetheinsubordination | IC Contact

[His mandibles flicker in a grin at her actions before he sobers up at her words. Garrus studies her for a moment.]

If you're sure, I can do this. Not gonna be easy. Then again. CDC isn't easy.

[He empties his own cup before setting it down.]

Discipline, focus, dedication, willpower, that's what it takes to be a soldier. That's what we'll work on. And if you're serious, we're heading to the Observation Deck where you're going to tell me how many laps you can run of it, and then you're going to do that plus two.

[Garrus pushes himself up before holding out a hand to her.]

Not gonna take it easy on you. Turians start from the age of three, so you've got a lot of ground to make up.

No, I'm not sure, but it doesn't really matter. All I'm sure of is that I gotta get there faster.

[She clicks her tongue as she takes his hand.]

Man, Erik, Clint, you... you're all just a bunch of threats huh?

[Hands on her hips, she sighs heavily.]

If you guys are gonna run me into the ground, you better know I don't die so easily. I'm stubborn as shit.

You better be, Talbot. Because I don't like friends dying on me, and you've been one for a while now.

[Garrus tilts his head toward the hallway and starts walking.]

So. How many laps are you gonna be running? And what do your other threats have you working on?

[There's amusement in his voice at the last part. He likes the nickname, and it's good to know what she's already doing so they don't overlap or clash.]

[Her shoulders are slumped, a clear marker of her exhaustion, but still, she soldiers on, following as best as she can.]

I don't know, four? I can top four after a blackout. And my other threats... [She rolls her eyes, thinking, twisting her lips.] Erik's got me working on my control and improving my fire. Clint's teaching me how to use the bow. Oh! Athos has got me using the rapier. Jack shows me how to use the rifle better when he can. So you know. Basic stuff.

[Four is a low number, but coming out of the black box means it's acceptable. There's no point in running her into the ground. This is to build her up, not break her.]

I can teach you other guns, too. Been teaching a few, and it's my area of expertise. I'm a sniper.

[And arguably one of the best shots in his galaxy, even though he doesn't go around advertising that. Much.]

Fitness is gonna help a lot too. Sounds like between all of us you're gonna have plenty on your hands, but we'll get you there.

[That is totally her making a finger gun and going pew!]

Garrus Vakarian, killer elite.

[Her expression grows somber.]

I know I've got a lot to do. But I know what I'm getting myself into. I know I probably should've gotten in with Aeryn and whatever fitness club they're doing but I think this will be better for me. [She scrubs a hand down her face.] Besides, I don't think anyone there can do the same like what Erik can do for me, or like Clint or like you.

It's not as individualized, no. It's a boot camp. A basic strength-and-combat training program that turns out decent soldiers in general, but it's not gonna build completely to each person's strength. It's good for a bunch of people.

[But he'll do one-on-one when he can, which thankfully is pretty often. Garrus looks over at her, mandibles close to his face.]

You know I am a killer, yeah? Never civilians. Never innocents. But there are a lot of people dead by my gun, my hands. And they deserved it.

I know. My brother was a killer, too. I don't like to think about it too much.

[A pause, thoughtful.]

Does it ever get easier? The killing?

The criminals, yeah. The ones who were deliberately hurting people, who preyed on others, those were easy.

[He doesn't regret those. But there's a weight to his subharmonics as he goes on.]

The enemy attacking our galaxy, though. The reapers. They can... They can wipe a person of who they are. Irrevocably. Turn them into nothing more than a killing machine. Those... Those don't get easy. Have to take them down, there's nothing else you can do. But...

[Garrus trails off, shaking his head.]

Only the ones that got themselves into the situation they're in are the ones I don't mind.

You don't need reapers to turn someone into a killing machine.

[In a literal sense, there's Bucky, the metal-armed assassin with the vaguest idea of a memory. Then there are the warriors, those who by necessity became machines. It doesn't take an alien to erase everything. It takes repetition and desperation to strip someone clean of themselves.]

I'd tell you I don't know if I can do this, but you'd tell me I'd have to do it, just like Erik told me. I've never killed anyone. I just don't want to be so shocked I can't do anything after that.

With your first one, you will be.

[His voice is quiet.]

All the training in the universe can't prepare you for that. Or all the proper training. There's criminal bands that'll push too far, too hard, and they'll break a person. But you're not there. And you better not be there. Which means that the first time you kill someone, it's gonna hurt.

[Garrus shakes his head.]

Best advice I've got for that is make sure someone trustworthy is with you. Someone who can shake you out of the reaction, snap you back to reality, and then they or another friend can help you put back the pieces of you. The moment it gets easy to kill someone who might not deserve it is the moment you've lost part of who you are.

[She scrubs her face. She'll never be ready for this, and her instinct is to run, but damn it, she knows better than to do that now.]

Right. People need people and all that.

People need people.

[He looks over at her, studying her face.]

It's easy to lose yourself if you shut people out, isolate yourself. What's important doesn't seem like so much of a priority once you've got it so you feel alone. Thankfully you've got a bunch of people on your side. All of us who'll teach you, d'Artagnan, the rest of the Leapfrogs... Whatever comes here, Talbot, you're not alone.

[She stays silent, swirling her drink.

She's yet to take an actual drink.]

I can't keep dumping my problems on everyone. Especially not D'Artagnan. He listens to so much about me already.

[It's... complicated, though. She listens to everyone, gladly. She wants to help. But as much as she doesn't want to share her own fears and thoughts, she needs to put them somewhere that won't weigh her mind.]

Then work them out. Don't just talk them out. Train stress away, sleep with d'Artagnan, find things that'll help. You don't need a therapist. You need to find an approach that works.

[Or that's what's always helped Garrus. He doesn't do a lot of talking about his problems. Better to sometimes have another person to listen and unravel, and then do most of the legwork himself, in his opinion. But he likes listening.]

Talk some, solve others. You've got a good head on your shoulders and I know you know how to use it.

[He's got a point, but...]

You know, you talk about me and d'Artagnan a lot.

[Just saying... wait a minute...

SQUINTS.]

You've been snooping longer than that network post, haven't you?

[Suddenly not meeting her eyes as he shrugs.]

Sometimes, when I get a hunch and think I can help, I snoop. And maybe I'd like reasons for my co-leader to make sure to not be reckless. It's practical.

He's got a good head Garrus. You know that, but if he's reckless, it's because he wants to do the right thing.

[She could say more. Instead, she falls silent.]

I can't do much, not like you can, but I promised myself I'd protect him. I won't let anything happen to him.

He's a good guy with a very good head. I trust him.

[And that is huge. Garrus doesn't trust easily, doesn't trust a lot, but d'Artagnan has proven himself.]

And you underestimate what you can do, Hanna. I've got guns. But I don't have some sort of ability. Power. I'm no biotic, no fire-wielder. Anyone can learn what I do. I can't learn what you do. He's in good hands, Hanna.

[That's... not what she precisely meant but still, it's nice to hear.

She runs her fingers through her hair. Aeryn trusts her to handle people, at least. She's got that going for her.]

Doesn't matter. He's got me, and so do you.

I do. And I appreciate both of that.

[A beat.]

That I have you and that d'Artagnan does too. You've got me too. You've got a bunch of people. And we'll figure out the black box. We'll get this handled.

[Now she takes a sip.]

Yeah. One step at a time, for now.

[His mandibles flare out in a smile.]

That's the only way to do it, Talbot.

[Settling back against the wall, Garrus raises his empty cup and taps it to hers.]

To working this out, one step at a time.

[She nods and smirks.]

To figuring shit out, yeah?

Exactly.

[And they will. He doesn't always have faith, but right now he thinks he can manage a little.]

sounds good

rocknrollrefugee - 2015-01-01 22:29 (UTC) - Expand

IC Contact - Consignment

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/wraps and puts a bow on?

sounds good