forgivetheinsubordination | IC Contact

[Garrus looks over at her and nods.]

Yep. And you're Xion?

[He doesn't need to ask. He reads the file of everyone he talks to and he's seen her picture. But she's young and her smile doesn't seem to fully be there, so he'll try to make her more comfortable.]

Come on over, have a seat.

[His voice is warm, subharmonics a barely there note underneath it.]

Yeah.

[ Jeez, he seriously towers over her. If she wasn't already used to being so short compared to everyone else, it might be a little unnerving. And his voice... there's something about it she can't quite place, but the warmth is all she cares about. One corner of her mouth twitches up a little higher, and she takes a seat. ]

Thanks. For letting me come. I'm sorry I keep getting so upset about everything.

[ God, but she'd not be happy if she knew he'd read her file. Too much exposure. Too much vulnerability. ]

You don't have to apologize for that.

[She's young. And surprisingly tiny.]

In my opinion it's better to feel than not. Once you stop feeling, you've lost a part of yourself. It'll help to not get quite as upset, but don't stop altogether. I mean that.

[There's a beat, and then he's resting a hand on her shoulder. "Living doll" or not, she still seems human enough that things like touch should translate and comfort. Or so he hopes.]

Besides. I've known people who when they got upset could tear a hole in a space station. I'm not too worried about this.

[ Being like 4'11" doesn't get you very far. Except up on a foot stool because you can't reach the top shelf.

What he says wins a smile, at least, though still a sad one, and she huffs out a little sigh at the hand on her shoulder. Comfort - being comforted - is still very, very new for her. It's strange but soothing at the same time. ]

... thanks, Garrus. I'll try. [ A beat, and she gives him a kind of curious look. ] ... you really know people who could tear holes in space stations?

[His mandibles flare out.]

I know four who could. Two who would.

[After a second, he tilts his head. Talking more about them actually might be relevant, a little. Garrus' voice is fond as he continues.]

One of those two was created in a tank. This scientist wanted a perfect member of his species. Never gonna get that, no matter what you do, but he tried. Wound up making a friend of mine. Young, got emotional control issues sometimes, but fun. The other one's had a hell of a life, so sometimes in the past when she's gotten angry, she's gone a little... well. Drastic.

[Grunt and Jack, and he wouldn't trade them for anyone.]

[ Created in a tank, huh...

Xion breathes deep and tries to just listen. ]

And they're that strong, huh? [ She tilts her head back, watching Macha's strange new sky. ] Are they here?

They're that strong. And he was on Selena. Her, I haven't seen here. But they seem to like bringing in people from my crew, so maybe it's just a matter of time.

[He doesn't want more dragged here. It's difficult for many of their group to go from fighting Reapers who are destroying their worlds, to instead destroying them. Shepard is the perfect example of that.]

His name's Grunt. He chose it himself. Probably not the best decision he's ever made, but it's not the worst either.

[He misses the big dumb baby krogan. At least he knows that if Grunt is here, somewhere, he's having fun blowing up worlds instead of being plagued with moral dilemmas.]

Wherever he went after Selena, he's probably doing fine.

Your crew? [ She looks at him now, a small light of curiosity finally cutting through her depression. ] What do you mean, crew? [ A beat. ] Were you a pirate?

[ She's not joking. The question is asked in total and complete innocence. ]

[Garrus eyes her, wondering if he's being teased. After a moment, he decides he doesn't think Xion would have a good poker face and this looks pretty convincing.]

No. Not a pirate. We went after some pirates. I serve on a space ship.

[Which, he realizes a moment after the words are out of his mouth, might not make sense to her.]

Star travel. Not a flying wooden boat, it's metal.

[ That gets a quiet little laugh. ]

I know what a spaceship is, Garrus.

[ And yet she assumed piracy before space travel. ]

Sorry. It just sounded familiar, I guess. I've met pirates before. Well, sort of. It feels like a long time ago, now.

Right.

[He shrugs and ducks his head, a little self-conscious.]

Already forgetting we were just on the Neheda. Already seems so far away, but I've always preferred being on a spaceship to being planetside.

[ For some reason she seems to find his forgetfulness on that topic sweet, and perks up just a little. ]

It's okay. I don't blame you. So much has already happened, it's hard to believe we haven't been here longer. [ Tilting her head back, she gazes up at the sky, sighing through her nose. ]

What was it like, being up there all the time? It's so dark. I think I'd miss the sky.

You're among the stars.

[His voice goes quiet, thoughtful.]

The sky is black, but everywhere you look, there's light. White, red, blue, yellow. Sometimes you go into nebula and there's a thousand colors there, all glowing. And then you're on the ship, too. Ships are never dark, never empty, never completely quiet. A good crew becomes family so you're never alone, either. You can get lost on a world. One face, blending into the crowd. It's never that way on a ship.
,
[Yeah, he might be slightly in love with serving on the Normandy.]

[ Whoa. Xion finds herself a little moved by his description, and watches him the whole time he speaks. ]

... sounds like you really loved it up there.

I did. I do. Space...

[Garrus shakes his head and looks back over at her with a shrug.]

My home city, Cipritine, will always have a special place in my heart. But my true home is in space.

[ Xion watches him for a moment more, then looks up at the sky again, wistful. ]

Where I'm from, every star in the sky is a world. A world burning with light. I never really thought of space as anything more than just a way to get between all those worlds... but there's a lot more to it than I ever knew.

[ More worlds than she could have ever dreamed of... ]

What was your home city like, Garrus?

[There's the shortest beat before he answers, as he hesitates.]

Are you... sure that it's not that every star has a world orbiting it?

[Because that would make a lot more sense. He doesn't think Xion has some secret ability to walk on suns.]

And Cipritine was beautiful. Silver, straight lines that stretch and swoop as far as the eye can see. Clean. Organized.

[Key word - was.]

[ Huff. ]

I'm sure. I'm starting to understand that... something might be different between my universe, and everyone else's. People talk to me about planets, and moons, and the stars they orbit, but... none of that is anything I was taught. Then again... I didn't have the best teachers.

[ She catches the past tense, and glances at him, cautiously curious. ] ... why do you say was?

It's... a little on fire right now.

[His voice is still light enough, but his subharmonics are heavier.]

We're at war. A species invaded our galaxy, is trying to take everyone out. They had intel on our military and hit us pretty hard. My city is fire and ash right now.

[And he can't ask the CDC to repair it. He doesn't want them ever setting foot on Palaven if he can help it, though he might have already messed that up with his current request.]

We'll rebuild. ...Much as you do from a bad teacher.

[ Her expression is sympathetic, but at least she doesn't cry again. The CDC has instilled so much horror in her already, so much pain. It's the reason she came out here, after all. Hearing Garrus's story tugs at her chest, but doesn't reopen her wounds.

It's morbid, but it might be a good thing she's being exposed to so much existential darkness. Soon she'll grow numb to it all, bit by bit. ]

... I know you will. [ Her faith is quiet, but sure. ] As for me, well... I dunno. I'm not sure how to recover. There's so much I don't know, and I never realized it until I left... this might sound strange, but I really thought I knew how much I didn't know. But now that I'm with the CDC, I'm realizing I had no idea... what's out there, and what I need to learn.

[ Xion curls up, hugging her knees to her chest and still watching the sky. ]

... I'm so scared, all the time. I need to be stronger, or... I'll keep failing. I have to stop getting so upset. If I let my emotions get the best of me, I'll be useless... and then I won't be able to do my job. I can't let that happen.

[After a moment, Garrus puts a gentle arm around Xion's shoulders.]

Finding a balance, finding a way to not be scared, those are tricky things. They're things that come with experience and practice and work. And accepting that there's a lot you don't know is a good first step. It's one everyone has to take.

[She's so small. Intellectually he knows it, but when she talks like this and is close to him, he's reminded of the fact. It almost feels like she could vanish in the blink of an eye, and that worries him a little.]

You'll learn. One step at a time. And you've got people who are here to help you be stronger. Emotionally, by reaching out to them, and physically with training. You're not alone, Xion.

IC Contact - Consignment

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