forgivetheinsubordination | IC Contact

Guess that depends on how you view a waste.

[He's still being quiet. There's no reason to put more pressure on the boy than Red is already dealing with. Slow and easy are the key words here. There isn't a rush, nobody in camp is in danger of starving and there's been no urgent messages of threats at the camp. They're not even that far out yet.]

More life versus being useful in death. It's all about what you prioritize, what you see as important. And that's how you make the choice, too. Take into account what you know and what you value. Work from there.

[What's most important is Red knowing himself, and acting from that knowledge.]

[ The advice doesn't answer everything circling around in his brain, perhaps the fault of the fog of his emotions or there being too much choice where he believes it to be limited. However, they each play their part in his decision that comes, cemented it nearly from the very start.

Charizard waits patiently, eyes set upon his trainer and then the black glass that he brings out. The boy doesn't speak until he's found what he was looking for, and then it comes out slow and steady. ]

...There's gnelit fruit... they're big. If we find some, Charizard can get me up... [ He uses his arm to wipe at his face. ] There's fern-head onions too.

[ Red pauses for a long beat. ] We can go by ourselves if you wanted to look for something else.

[ Because his choice may not mean a difference at all, but it was the one he wanted to make. ]

Let's look for gnelit fruit.

[So it will be a gathering trip more than a hunting trip, but that's all right. They're still bringing back food. He'll let Red make this choice, and he'll back the boy up instead of abandoning him. Garrus stands up.]

If we come across anything medicinal, we'll grab that too. Medical's doing better on supplies, but they could always use more. This way.

[He'd helped map this sector, and he vaguely remembers the direction of a few good flora locations. After inclining his head to indicate the right direction, Garrus starts walking as if they'd never been interrupted with a personal crisis.]

[ Red doesn't know why Garrus continues on when it's apparent their objectives hadn't entirely been on the same level, when he deemed a creature more useful in death than spared a little extra time to live; he watches his back a good moment before accepting to continue on, picking up in a pace that lets him keep up with the turian, but not parallel to him.

Charizard sticks with his trainer. There's less apparent enthusiasm in the boy, but gathering the fruit is still in his plans, and when a thought comes to mind he doesn't hold it back out of some felt necessity to walk in silence. ]

Are we going straight this way? Charizard can go ahead in the air and see if he spots anything moving nearby.

[It stings a little that Red isn't walking with him, instead lagging behind and letting Garrus lead. But nothing Garrus has said was wrong. They'll have to kill, and he believes that most of the animals would be better served fulfilling some use rather than panicking and dying. After Red sees the end of Macha, Garrus has a feeling his view might change a little. Hopefully not too much, but enough that he won't break next time a hunting trip happens.

He turns slightly when Red talks.]

Yeah, that'd be a good plan, if he doesn't mind. Send him up, scout for possible plants too. What we can see we can avoid or head for. Though that might mean you'd be walking with me instead of him. Promise I don't kill animals for fun, if that helps at all.

I wasn't thinking that.

[ It comes out defensively with how he hurries it, Red stopping in his tracks and Charizard following suit. But it's not (entirely) to do with his words, and instead the device he pulls out to show the photos of fauna and flora to show Charizard. He skims through the images of fauna first to pick out ones worth watching out for, particularly the gerol, then swaps over to the flora, naming out the gnelit trees and their fruit.

Then he approaches Garrus, Charizard with him - and still with the basket held awkwardly, yet effortlessly, outward in one claw - as he holds the device for Garrus to take. ]

Show him which ones you want him to find. Tell him anything that you think will be helpful to watch out for.

[The denial is a little strong there. Garrus wouldn't be surprised at all to be judged, he judges plenty himself. But he does think that he's trying to do his best for the crew and for Red.

The request gets a nod as Garrus turns on his own blackglass.]

Don't feel bad, but yours isn't gonna work in my hands. They're keyed in to their owner. Let's see. Dyum, we can go for those, fern-headed onion, gnelit, huskberry... does he have all of those?

[ Oh, right. Red brings the device back to himself, and with the names picked out, he balances his attention between it and Charizard, the creature's head looking over Red's shoulder. ]

Okay, dyum... do you remember those, Charizard? We had our trip with Hanbei, and those were near the stream on the way back. [ He pokes at the black glass. ] Gnelit are the big fruits you ate a lot of, and huskberries are the smaller ones. Look, here-- you want to look for a pile like that, okay? If you find anything strange don't touch it, just in case.

[ Red's turned to face Charizard completely by then, device by his side. ] Call if you get in any trouble and need help. I don't want you going too far.

[ The pokémon gives his little signals that he understands, a head bowing and a huff through his snout, and then he side steps them to get to a patch of ground where he doesn't stand directly beside him. With a push of his legs and a flap of his wings, Charizard raises off the ground, claws fixing into both hands and a neck curling for him to look to his trainer one more time; the boy nods to him, Charizard makes a sound of acknowledgement, then glances at Garrus almost expectantly, as if wanting some sort of reassurance from him too.

(That he can be trusted with his trainer.)

But he won't wait for long, and if he isn't stopped, Charizard will go first in the direction they're already headed, to search out for the items shown. ]

[Garrus looks back at Charizard, a little unsure as to what it's waiting for.]

Uh, yeah. Good luck, do well, we'll respond quickly if you get into trouble.

[He's encouraging an animal now. This is what his life has become. Granted, an animal that has some intelligence and agency if it can remember those things and spot them, but it's still a small dragon.

Once it's departed, he turns to Red.]

So. Until he comes back, you wanna walk? Want to talk guns or weapons training? Because if Green's anything to go by, you haven't really had much. And clearly you're used to sending Charizard off to do missions on his own, which means you could use a backup option.

[ He's not going to keep still even without the question. With Charizard heading off first, the boy's going to pick up into a walking pace again. ]

Someone showed me how to use the weapon I got when I arrived here. Anyway, I'm not leaving him on his own; he's just checking things out first for us. He won't go too far. I don't usually let him go off like this when we're together.

Would you like further training? Him being able to go off to run things could be a useful option in tight circumstances. Like the one you arrived in.

[If they'd had Charizard able to fly over camps quickly, to see where the captives were being held, maybe they could have gotten there sooner. It's yet another thing that doesn't retroactively change anything but could be useful for future situations.]

Mm, hold up.

[There's another Fingerling vine up ahead. Garrus had been deliberate in not naming the vine to Charizard, he hadn't wanted to risk the dragon landing and getting tangled, but the flowers are edible for everyone and he's liked these.]

Let me know if it starts reaching for my head with another vine?

[Everything except his head is covered, which means picking several of these off is relatively safe.]

[ The answer gets put on hold, Red pausing at Garrus's word. And... is this guy just using his body to get to the flowers? He'd read up on them and knows what they can do. What a way to go about it.

He looks around himself (no two will be close together, but how far apart was enough?), but returns back to Garrus at the request. ]

Uh-- sure. [ ... ] Are you trying not to damage the vine?

[Garrus glances up a little sheepishly.]

Yes. I am.

[And back down to look at what he's doing.]

The flowers can regrow. No point in killing it.

[He's given Red a poor first impression, with his assumption that they were going hunting animals instead of gathering plants.]

I kill when there's purpose.

[ He feels like there's a purpose in those last words, but maybe even if there wasn't, the boy's face becomes tense and there's a space between when Garrus speaks and Red does, some of that taken up by Red shrugging off his bag from off his shoulders and opening it. ]

We can put the flowers in here. [ But then. ] ...Is it safe for you to move while it's still on you? Is it just the tip that's dangerous?

The tip's what is dangerous. And I've got full armor and gloves. I'm all right so long as it doesn't get my head.

[Garrus' booted foot is resting on the hand of this particular limb, meaning he's not entirely safe, but he's done what he can for now. And the slow-moving vine likely won't be able to surprise him with Red watching.

He starts dropping the flowers in the bag.]

Have you tried out your juggernaut yet?

[ The guy with armour is better than the boy without, but hey. There's still the worry of being crept up on while his sight is elsewhere, foot scraping against the dirt with a quick glance down inbetween keeping his eyes peeled on Garrus. ]

Juggernaut, that's- [ Which thing? ] the weapon?

[ Garrus brought up about weapons before. But quickly he interrupts with an unrelated request, before Garrus can answer: ] By the way, can you watch around my feet?

[Garrus gets up so he can see the ground a bit better and drop more flowers in, before coming over to Red and tapping the juggernaut cuff.]

I will. And this. Juggernaut. It's armor. It can be on for a full hour but then it needs to recharge. I'd start learning about using it, if I were you. Weapons will be useful. Armor even more so.

[He holds out his own arm so Red can watch him activate the juggernaut and the way the armor forms around Garrus before he deactivates it.]

Mine's heavier than yours in terms of what it can block. It's just a matter of being here longer. You'll get an upgrade before long too, whether it's the heavier armor, gauntlets that shoot electricity, or settings that let you fly.

[ It's useful information, and Red's reminded of being shown before how to activate the juggernaut in the past when Garrus does so as well, but the conversation leads onto talks of upgrades that he just gives a few slow nods here and there and an awkward- ] Right.

[ He knows there's not much choice to their situation (except damning his planet, pokémon, and himself, that is) and it's a fact he's been struggling through, but to hear all this talk - regardless of usefulness - makes him wish that Charizard would come back soon. It'd be a good way to move on and to talk about the fruits and plants and have Red be able to ignore the subject and how beyond lost it makes him feel.

But Charizard hasn't been gone that long, and reality isn't as easy to ignore as that. He doesn't want to either. Not really. ]

...Whatever I have to learn, I won't leave Charizard's side. [ Out of any topic he can think to touch, that's the first to come. ] Me and my pokémon, we work together -- especially if it's me and Charizard. If he goes anywhere, I go too.

[ It's just a fact, softly spoken, and one that Red doesn't want to break no matter. ]

All right.

[It's not like it's an issue right now. There may be times in the future when it's practical for Charizard or Arcanine to go forward, to scout or take a separate position, but that'll be in the future and up to Red. And by then maybe the boy will be ready for tactics like that.

He glances up at the sky, wondering how this current situation fits into Red's resolve, but Garrus doesn't ask. Pushing the point would only drive the kid away, not help anything or anyone.]

Do we wanna move forward, see what other plants we can spot? And you can still fight side-by-side with Charizard and still train to use weaponry and armor yourself.

[ If anything, the conversation they've had now is as much of a reason why Red gestures his head in the direction that Charizard had gone. ]

I want to go this way. If we go too far in Charizard won't see us, and I want to see Charizard too. He won't be much longer.

[ Red doesn't walk without waiting for Garrus to agree, yet he stands and speaks like it's what he's set on. That, or he's just finding it harder for his body to relax. Should Garrus have no problem with this decision and moving away from the trees - and the boy will follow him - the orange creature won't be hard to spot -- he's amidst the open landscape, down on his feet than in the air.

And Garrus might just see him pull a chunk of something out the ground and drop it into his basket. ]

[That's... only a response to part of what he'd been saying, and Garrus gives Red a curious glance. Maybe the boy thinks that as long as he doesn't have training he won't have to kill personally? It might even be technically true. Charizard might do all of the killing for him. But Red doesn't strike Garrus as someone who could leave the dirty duties to others.]

All right.

[He follows the boy's lead, moving at a decent pace, catching sight of Charizard easily.]

So why don't you pick the next conversation topic? Since you don't seem to be going for mine.

[There's some awkwardness here, ever since the misunderstanding about hunting versus gathering, and Garrus isn't quite sure how to defuse it.]

[ The relief in seeing Charizard is better than what he'd imagine, and Red stops walking once he catches sight of him; however, a small pang of guilt drops in his stomach at Garrus's words. There had been a reason for delaying an answer on the subject that time, but he knows he's been like a rock through the subject that it doesn't make a difference. ]

I wasn't ignoring you. [ Being difficult, true, but not ignoring. ] I just... I'm finding it hard to talk about.

[ He knows it isn't a good reason, and he doesn't want it to be an excuse. It's an opportunity for him to do more than think about it to himself and to Charizard, but then one thing or another unsettles him. It's hard to just discuss, to question about this and that like he did with people back in Kanto. That was all about pokémon, not-- killing.

Red continues to keep an eye on Charizard's distant figure, not facing away from Garrus for any other reason than to watch his pokémon, and he stands with a lack of an intention to move. ]

Can I ask you though... what did you do before you came here? Did you do anything like this? [ ... ] Did you ever hold a weapon before?

[Oh this is not going to go well.]

Knew you weren't ignoring me. Figured you were struggling so I gave you an out.

[And now he's out of easy stuff. What he did. There isn't really a way to dance around it. Garrus shakes his head and takes a breath.]

I've served in military positions my whole adult life. Police at first. Sniper. Helped fight to save the galaxy. Went vigilante and took out criminals. Helped fight to save the galaxy again.

[A beat.]

What you're asking is if I've killed before. And I have. Criminals. Slavers. Drug dealers who preyed on their customers. And then I got here, and I've now killed people who aren't soldiers, who aren't criminals, because it's part of what was required of Green team.

[It's just like he'd told Shuyi. It's getting harder by the day to see himself as good.]

[ It's not a surprise. It was already there in the way Garrus spoke before he confirmed it, and the position of a police officer fits with what Red imagined. His story is big and would be a source to awe in places and plenty of questions everywhere, but here -- here wasn't the time.

A long moment sits after Garrus finishes before Red speaks. ]

When you're a soldier in a war, there's going to be casualties. People get killed.... and pokémon too. [ ... ] I met a man once when I was on a journey back home to help a professor. He was a gym leader, a person who took on challenges and gave people who defeated him a badge of proof. He said he was a lieutenant in a war, and he and his pokémon fought be each other's side and kept each other safe. Half of everyone in his gym was a soldier once.

I didn't really think about it back then. When he said he fought in a war and his pokémon had been there with him, I just thought... of how strong of a bond they must have, and how tough they must be.

[ Not: What was it like to be in a war? Did they ever lose anyone? How did you cope? ]

I keep thinking about him now. What he had to do. How did he fight? What was it like for him and his pokémon? I wish I could talk to him now. [ He faces Garrus, and his voice grows with his words. ] I don't know weapons, I don't know about armour -- I know pokémon. I know how to take care of them. What should I do? What did he tell his pokémon?

[ He stops himself, looking away. A hand raises to brush through his hair, deliberately blocking his face with the way his arm bends and lingers after the hand grows still. Did he have to say anything to his pokémon? Why they were seeing the things they saw now? ]

We went up against those neraki... we fought the flying creatures. He took them down because they wouldn't stay down. I don't know if any survived.

[ Red breathes, sucking in the air through his nose, and his eyes close for a time with the tip of his head. ]

We have to do it because there's no other choice. We love where we come from too much. [ Wherever his words were meant to lead him, the reason for originally asking Garrus about his history with killing is already lost from his mind. Somewhere, it was meant to help. Achieve something. ]

I don't intend to have him fight alone. He won't carry all the weight.

[The response he gets goes beyond all of his expectations. He'd thought Red would feel scared, worried, might want to continue on without Garrus, because everything to this point had said Red was uncomfortable. Instead, the boy's showing wisdom and an attempt at compassion. Garrus is impressed, and he stays quiet the whole time Red speaks.

Red wraps up, and Garrus nods, watching the boy.]

That's the approach that will keep you both together.

[And alive. At least, not dead from the CDC.]

Whatever I can do to help you there, I'm here, Red. I'll train you with weapons and the juggernaut, get you up to speed. And I'll teach you what it is to be a soldier. The two of you, fighting side-by-side, carrying the weight together.

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