IC Contact - Consignment

[forgivetheinsubordination]

vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
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Comments

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

how the fuck would i know

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

brb, going to harass a doctor

or whatever this anders guy is anyway

[forgivetheinsubordination]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

Mage. Healer. He actually does magic. I can't really explain it. But I've seen enough that I'll call it that now.

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

okay, cool, i really don't care what kind of bullshit sparklemotion he can do so long as he can pull a bottle of morphine out of a hat

[forgivetheinsubordination]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

I don't know what all Medical has at the moment. Don't push too hard, yeah?

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

don't worry, vakarian, i'll be professional and discreet

[forgivetheinsubordination]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

Somehow I'm not comforted by that.

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

i'm sure i have no idea what you mean

as an alliance officer i always conduct myself as befits my rank and station

something something dignity and respect etc etc

[forgivetheinsubordination]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

How many times have you stolen the Normandy now?

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

does the time i stole it from cerberus count

[forgivetheinsubordination]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

Half-points, since you weren't exactly acting as an alliance officer while working with them.

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

so then it's only 1.5 times that i stole the ship

that's practically respectable

[forgivetheinsubordination]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

You keep telling yourself that.

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

Gonna rest my eyes. Let me know if anything pans out. Or if Anders sets you on fire. Either way.

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

like i haven't been threatened with that before.

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

rest up, lazyass. i'll ping you when i'm heading your way.

[forgivetheinsubordination]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

That's me. Garrus Lazyass Vakarian. Later, Joker.

later than expected, because he stopped at Tali's first

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

wake up, officer lazyass

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

i'm on my way and i'm not gonna wait around while you get your beauty sleep

[forgivetheinsubordination]

[The buzz of his blackglass wakes him up, and Garrus stares blearily at it for several moments before not just figuring out what the notif means, but what the words mean as well. Stiffly, slowly, he gets out of bed and heads to the door, figuring that by the time he's there and has it open, Joker will probably be there.]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

Copy that. Besides. I get any more beautiful I'm gonna start having problems finding time to sleep.

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

garrus, i don't think that word means what you think it means


[When he gets there, he bangs on the door, just in case Garrus isn't actually up yet. With what he's gone through, he wouldn't blame him for just passing out at every opportunity.]

[Cavalry's here, Space Batman.]

[forgivetheinsubordination]

[Looks like his timing had been just about right. Garrus opens the door a split-second after the knock.]

You trying to tell me the scars aren't doing anything for you?

[Most of his weight is on the doorframe, and his voice is hoarse. Joker's seen him in poor shape before, though, so he's not too worried about his pride.]

So disappointed. But I'll let you come in anyway.

[boneitis]

[Garrus looks approximately like ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag when he answers, and Joker makes absolutely zero indication that he notices. No one wants to get called out on looking like shit.]

What, was this just one big booty call, Vakarian? Because I'm gonna have to let you down easy. I'm sorry, but I don't think of you that way-- let's just be friends.

[He steps inside, medicine box tucked up under his arm like a football, and pats Garrus consolingly on the shoulder.]

How about we get you drugged up instead.

[forgivetheinsubordination]

Getting high is a poor substitute for getting laid. But if that's all I can get...

[Garrus closes the door behind the pilot before making his way back over to his bed and taking a seat on the edge of it. As long as he can joke, he's alive. Or something like that.]

What form is it in?

[He's hoping it's pills, something easy, but with the way supplies have been he's not sure what all Medical has left.]

And thanks. Glad to see Anders didn't set you on fire.

[boneitis]

If you think you could get laid right now, you're overestimating yourself a little, big guy.

[Even if he could find somebody who'd get naked with a half-dead guy, Joker seriously doubts that he'd actually be able to do anything about it. Garrus is having enough trouble just staying upright, nevertheless anything more strenuous.]

[He sets the box down and starts sorting through its contents.]

Speaking of Doc Sparkle, man he's touchy. Asked for a little clarification about the chirality of some of this shit and he nearly bit my head off. So half the stuff he gave me is herbal, beats the hell out of me how good it is.

[There it is-- the small pill bottle with those few doses of painkiller that Anders could spare. He waves it in Garrus' direction and the pills rattle inside.]

I'd say the stronger bet's on these, anyway. [But, before he hands them over...] You gotten a shot of nanites yet?

[forgivetheinsubordination]

[It's not like his lover had been feeling overly energetic either. A little relieved that it's not some sort of plant he has to eat and then wait on, Garrus holds out his hand only to roll his eyes at the question.]

Like I was stupid enough to not have them on hand.

[He'd been stupid enough to not prepare for quite as much as he needed - without Ino and Jean he doesn't know what shape he would be in, but at least he'd had nanites there and ready. And been given them.]

Is this going to be some sort of interrogation, or are you going to actually give me those?

[boneitis]

Just checking, Garrus. Might not be a bad idea for you to take another dose to help things along.

[He'd been fully prepared to deal with Vakarian's particular brand of idiocy-- that is, he has his own nanites with him and would have totally held the painkillers hostage in order to shoot him up.]

[He tosses the pill bottle onto the bed next to Garrus.]

Here. Take one of those, wait like half an hour and see how you're doing. That's pretty strong stuff, so one ought to do you.

[forgivetheinsubordination]

[Garrus takes the pill bottle, opening it up as he tries to figure out how he's doing, overall.]

I don't wanna abuse them is the thing. I'm functioning, not in danger, supplies of nanites are low, and we don't know what's coming next.

[A little stiffly he grabs his canteen and takes the pill, mandibles drawing in at the bitter taste left in his mouth. No reason to complain, though. This should mean the pain goes away.]

If we've got a few days' break, time to heal, before the next thing decides to attack our camp, then I should take advantage of that. We get attacked sooner, I'll take another dose so I'm on my feet and helping.

[boneitis]

Fair enough.

[He doesn't look bad enough for Joker to force the issue; he sure as hell looked worse when he took a rocket to the face, and he was back up and on duty pretty shortly after that. A few days of taking it easy with their good friend Mr. Opioid should fix him up.]

You want me to stick the rest of this somewhere? I dunno how much you want to stake on it, but if you're in the mood for some tea that smells approximately like a krogan's ass, you're set for it.