So you want to learn regular weapons that aren't fireproof first, or you want to learn to control the fire first? Or is it both and just finding enough hours in the days to do that?
[If he's to judge, it seems like she's got a decent level on control over the fire by now. The temperature changes, the size, but this is a calm situation. They're not under attack or fighting for their lives, and that's when she needs to have control.]
[In a fit of "fuck it," she drinks the flaming alcohol. She tilts her head back, twisting her lips. She wonders...
Her lips pucker up. A thin jet of white flames burst between her lips, which already twist into a grin.]
Still got it.
[Now that that's over, she glances at him.]
Make me a soldier, Garrus. A real soldier. I can't do it alone. Weapons... swords, guns, knives, all that. It's the tools. I'm not a soldier, I'm a brat from the Hamptons with a fucked up family that gets bored with money and needs more greed to fuel itself. My brother was the soldier, he is the soldier, but he's in custody. He can't exactly pawn off a few tips to the kid sister that's destroying planets, now can he?
[His mandibles flicker in a grin at her actions before he sobers up at her words. Garrus studies her for a moment.]
If you're sure, I can do this. Not gonna be easy. Then again. CDC isn't easy.
[He empties his own cup before setting it down.]
Discipline, focus, dedication, willpower, that's what it takes to be a soldier. That's what we'll work on. And if you're serious, we're heading to the Observation Deck where you're going to tell me how many laps you can run of it, and then you're going to do that plus two.
[Garrus pushes himself up before holding out a hand to her.]
Not gonna take it easy on you. Turians start from the age of three, so you've got a lot of ground to make up.
You better be, Talbot. Because I don't like friends dying on me, and you've been one for a while now.
[Garrus tilts his head toward the hallway and starts walking.]
So. How many laps are you gonna be running? And what do your other threats have you working on?
[There's amusement in his voice at the last part. He likes the nickname, and it's good to know what she's already doing so they don't overlap or clash.]
[Her shoulders are slumped, a clear marker of her exhaustion, but still, she soldiers on, following as best as she can.]
I don't know, four? I can top four after a blackout. And my other threats... [She rolls her eyes, thinking, twisting her lips.] Erik's got me working on my control and improving my fire. Clint's teaching me how to use the bow. Oh! Athos has got me using the rapier. Jack shows me how to use the rifle better when he can. So you know. Basic stuff.
[Ah. Now it makes sense, now he can see what Garrus means, and there's a thoughtful little hum low in his throat.]
It'd be okay if it were all of us, then.
[It really is hard to say no to, especially with the reassurance that it's not that he isn't wanted. The potential of having anything with both of the people he's attracted to is-- well, there are ways it could get awkward, but it could be good too.]
[Four is a low number, but coming out of the black box means it's acceptable. There's no point in running her into the ground. This is to build her up, not break her.]
I can teach you other guns, too. Been teaching a few, and it's my area of expertise. I'm a sniper.
[And arguably one of the best shots in his galaxy, even though he doesn't go around advertising that. Much.]
Fitness is gonna help a lot too. Sounds like between all of us you're gonna have plenty on your hands, but we'll get you there.
[That is totally her making a finger gun and going pew!]
Garrus Vakarian, killer elite.
[Her expression grows somber.]
I know I've got a lot to do. But I know what I'm getting myself into. I know I probably should've gotten in with Aeryn and whatever fitness club they're doing but I think this will be better for me. [She scrubs a hand down her face.] Besides, I don't think anyone there can do the same like what Erik can do for me, or like Clint or like you.
[There's a little wryness mixed into his voice. Now all he has to do is talk to Noh. That can't go complicated at all. But if it might mean that Noh-Varr doesn't need someone else, just agrees to things with a third every now and then instead, then it's worth the difficulty the talk will bring. And the difficulty that will arise when Noh asks why and Garrus has to admit that he's having trouble with the concept of not being exclusive.]
That'll be easy.
[After these murders are solved, he'll talk to Noh. And there's always a possibility of something else coming up, something big, considering the way this place works, but he needs to do this. He can't let the issue get so big that it builds into a problem.]
It's not as individualized, no. It's a boot camp. A basic strength-and-combat training program that turns out decent soldiers in general, but it's not gonna build completely to each person's strength. It's good for a bunch of people.
[But he'll do one-on-one when he can, which thankfully is pretty often. Garrus looks over at her, mandibles close to his face.]
You know I am a killer, yeah? Never civilians. Never innocents. But there are a lot of people dead by my gun, my hands. And they deserved it.
The criminals, yeah. The ones who were deliberately hurting people, who preyed on others, those were easy.
[He doesn't regret those. But there's a weight to his subharmonics as he goes on.]
The enemy attacking our galaxy, though. The reapers. They can... They can wipe a person of who they are. Irrevocably. Turn them into nothing more than a killing machine. Those... Those don't get easy. Have to take them down, there's nothing else you can do. But...
[Garrus trails off, shaking his head.]
Only the ones that got themselves into the situation they're in are the ones I don't mind.
You don't need reapers to turn someone into a killing machine.
[In a literal sense, there's Bucky, the metal-armed assassin with the vaguest idea of a memory. Then there are the warriors, those who by necessity became machines. It doesn't take an alien to erase everything. It takes repetition and desperation to strip someone clean of themselves.]
I'd tell you I don't know if I can do this, but you'd tell me I'd have to do it, just like Erik told me. I've never killed anyone. I just don't want to be so shocked I can't do anything after that.
That's an accident. The destroying planets thing. Didn't really get a full briefing. And if the people in charge don't change, then you change the people in charge.
All the training in the universe can't prepare you for that. Or all the proper training. There's criminal bands that'll push too far, too hard, and they'll break a person. But you're not there. And you better not be there. Which means that the first time you kill someone, it's gonna hurt.
[Garrus shakes his head.]
Best advice I've got for that is make sure someone trustworthy is with you. Someone who can shake you out of the reaction, snap you back to reality, and then they or another friend can help you put back the pieces of you. The moment it gets easy to kill someone who might not deserve it is the moment you've lost part of who you are.
[He offers Garrus a small smile, one he hopes comes off as encouraging as it's meant to, as he reaches up to brush his fingertips along the side of the turian's face.]
But for now, if you don't mind me weighing you down a little longer...
[Then he's comfortable, and he'd very much like to stay there. Maybe doze a little, that'd be nice.]
[Everything seems on the brink of falling apart. Shepard's grounded, Liara's missing, Garrus might blow up his thing with Noh-Varr instead of fixing it, there are people dead... and for once Garrus gives into the temptation to hide away. He can't take more on right now, he can't stress further. His voice is hushed when he speaks, though his mandibles flicker against Ryan's fingertips.]
Prefer to lay down too, if you don't mind. Just so I'm a little more comfortable myself.
[How long can he take to ignore the world? Not long. But he needs it and knows it. With Ryan's permission, Garrus will be shifting back to stretch out, still holding the human. Farrow is warm and soft, and at least Garrus hasn't failed this friend just yet.]
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