We were, but it was your first drop. I don't expect you to notice everyone; there's a lot to get used to. Just glad you made it. Your rovermates make it back too?
[ Ah. There's a delay on Xion's end, too, as she soaks that in. ... it's not like she wasn't surrounded, back home, by people she couldn't trust. There was only Roxas, and Axel... no one else in the Organization exactly had her best interests in mind. Still, this is a jolt to her system. She's a little disappointed at herself ... for feeling disappointed. ]
FROM: xion@cdc.org
... I don't know what that means anymore. Can I trust you? Can I trust Guy? Can I even trust Roxas?
FROM: xion@cdc.org
... sorry. It's fine, you're right. I'll try to be careful.
Roxas is your friend, and friendship is nothing without trust. I think you can and should trust Roxas. And I'm biased, but I'd also say you can trust me.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Greens should have some trust. We have to work as a team, and if you don't trust someone to have your back, that'll hinder you and them. And Guy seems nice, so I'd say don't distrust him.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Basically, caution in all things here. Sorry, Xion.
It's for the better that you don't. That you adapt to survive, but that you don't get 'used' to it. We're going to be killing these natives, Xion. I don't want any of mine used to that.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Able to handle it without breaking, yeah. Used to it, no.
It's not going to be easy, Xion. But you've got people to support you through it. You're not alone. You're not even alone when it comes to having trouble with this.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I've got your back. You can make it, and you can make it intact. Just lean on the people you have, and remember your world and your friends.
[As those they kill remember their world and their friends.]
[ She does take a few moments to calm her tears completely, though. It wouldn't do to have him see her crying.
.. large, grey, pointy guy, huh.
Once she's composed again she heads out. It takes her a couple minutes, as she wasn't that close by, but she finds him before too long. ... he's hard to miss. If his appearance gives her pause, it's only for a moment before she tries a weak smile and waves. ]
[He doesn't need to ask. He reads the file of everyone he talks to and he's seen her picture. But she's young and her smile doesn't seem to fully be there, so he'll try to make her more comfortable.]
Come on over, have a seat.
[His voice is warm, subharmonics a barely there note underneath it.]
[ Jeez, he seriously towers over her. If she wasn't already used to being so short compared to everyone else, it might be a little unnerving. And his voice... there's something about it she can't quite place, but the warmth is all she cares about. One corner of her mouth twitches up a little higher, and she takes a seat. ]
Thanks. For letting me come. I'm sorry I keep getting so upset about everything.
[ God, but she'd not be happy if she knew he'd read her file. Too much exposure. Too much vulnerability. ]
In my opinion it's better to feel than not. Once you stop feeling, you've lost a part of yourself. It'll help to not get quite as upset, but don't stop altogether. I mean that.
[There's a beat, and then he's resting a hand on her shoulder. "Living doll" or not, she still seems human enough that things like touch should translate and comfort. Or so he hopes.]
Besides. I've known people who when they got upset could tear a hole in a space station. I'm not too worried about this.
[ Being like 4'11" doesn't get you very far. Except up on a foot stool because you can't reach the top shelf.
What he says wins a smile, at least, though still a sad one, and she huffs out a little sigh at the hand on her shoulder. Comfort - being comforted - is still very, very new for her. It's strange but soothing at the same time. ]
... thanks, Garrus. I'll try. [ A beat, and she gives him a kind of curious look. ] ... you really know people who could tear holes in space stations?
[After a second, he tilts his head. Talking more about them actually might be relevant, a little. Garrus' voice is fond as he continues.]
One of those two was created in a tank. This scientist wanted a perfect member of his species. Never gonna get that, no matter what you do, but he tried. Wound up making a friend of mine. Young, got emotional control issues sometimes, but fun. The other one's had a hell of a life, so sometimes in the past when she's gotten angry, she's gone a little... well. Drastic.
[Grunt and Jack, and he wouldn't trade them for anyone.]
They're that strong. And he was on Selena. Her, I haven't seen here. But they seem to like bringing in people from my crew, so maybe it's just a matter of time.
[He doesn't want more dragged here. It's difficult for many of their group to go from fighting Reapers who are destroying their worlds, to instead destroying them. Shepard is the perfect example of that.]
His name's Grunt. He chose it himself. Probably not the best decision he's ever made, but it's not the worst either.
[He misses the big dumb baby krogan. At least he knows that if Grunt is here, somewhere, he's having fun blowing up worlds instead of being plagued with moral dilemmas.]
Wherever he went after Selena, he's probably doing fine.
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Mostly. If you see my arm somewhere, I could use that back.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I should note that's a joke. You, Xion?
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FROM: xion@cdc.org
Don't say things like that!! I almost believed it for a second...
FROM: xion@cdc.org
I'm okay. It wasn't easy, but I didn't expect it to be. We got attacked by these poisonous butterflies with razor sharp wings.
FROM: xion@cdc.org
What was your drop like?
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You shouldn't have. Seeing as my drop had these poisonous butterflies with razor sharp wings.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Think most people would have noticed if I'd lost a limb.
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FROM: xion@cdc.org
Oh!
FROM: xion@cdc.org
Oh no, I'm sorry! We were on the same drop and I didn't even notice?!
FROM: xion@cdc.org
You'd think I'd at least pay attention to my own teammates...
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We were, but it was your first drop. I don't expect you to notice everyone; there's a lot to get used to. Just glad you made it. Your rovermates make it back too?
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I'm really, really sorry! Even if you don't expect that, I still should have figured it out, or something...
FROM: xion@cdc.org
But, um, thanks, I guess. And yeah, they did. One of them helped me out of a tight situation, actually. Kakashi?
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Really, it's all right, Xion. And Kakashi's good people. Wouldn't hurt to get to know him. I'm just glad to not have heard of any losses yet.
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... if you're sure.
FROM: xion@cdc.org
He seems like good people. It's nice... meeting other people it feels like maybe I can trust.
FROM: xion@cdc.org
Yeah, me too. At least it seems like we got through the drops alright.
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I'm sure. I promise.
[There's a delay before he sends the next message.]
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I didn't say to trust him, Xion. He's good. But... Trust is a thing to take your time with.
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FROM: xion@cdc.org
... I don't know what that means anymore. Can I trust you? Can I trust Guy? Can I even trust Roxas?
FROM: xion@cdc.org
... sorry. It's fine, you're right. I'll try to be careful.
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Roxas is your friend, and friendship is nothing without trust. I think you can and should trust Roxas. And I'm biased, but I'd also say you can trust me.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Greens should have some trust. We have to work as a team, and if you don't trust someone to have your back, that'll hinder you and them. And Guy seems nice, so I'd say don't distrust him.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Basically, caution in all things here. Sorry, Xion.
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No, it's okay. Please don't apologize. I know you're right. And ... I do think I can trust you, and Roxas, and Guy.
FROM: xion@cdc.org
It's just been hard. Much harder than any of the missions I ever went on back home.
FROM: xion@cdc.org
I'm not sure I'll ever get used to this.
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It's for the better that you don't. That you adapt to survive, but that you don't get 'used' to it. We're going to be killing these natives, Xion. I don't want any of mine used to that.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
Able to handle it without breaking, yeah. Used to it, no.
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FROM: xion@cdc.org
..... you know, a boy showed me how to use my gun. I ... I know how to shoot people now.
FROM: xion@cdc.org
I...
FROM: xion@cdc.org
i don't know how to do this without breaking
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FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
It's not going to be easy, Xion. But you've got people to support you through it. You're not alone. You're not even alone when it comes to having trouble with this.
FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
I've got your back. You can make it, and you can make it intact. Just lean on the people you have, and remember your world and your friends.
[As those they kill remember their world and their friends.]
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... my home ... my friends ...
[ Give her a moment to scrub at her face and reign in the quiet hiccups. ]
FROM: xion@cdc.org
Garrus ... could I see you?
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Yeah. I'm just outside of the camp, to the south-east. I'll be the large, grey, pointy guy in full armor, can't miss me.
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Okay. I'll see you soon.
[ She does take a few moments to calm her tears completely, though. It wouldn't do to have him see her crying.
.. large, grey, pointy guy, huh.
Once she's composed again she heads out. It takes her a couple minutes, as she wasn't that close by, but she finds him before too long. ... he's hard to miss. If his appearance gives her pause, it's only for a moment before she tries a weak smile and waves. ]
Garrus, right?
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Yep. And you're Xion?
[He doesn't need to ask. He reads the file of everyone he talks to and he's seen her picture. But she's young and her smile doesn't seem to fully be there, so he'll try to make her more comfortable.]
Come on over, have a seat.
[His voice is warm, subharmonics a barely there note underneath it.]
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[ Jeez, he seriously towers over her. If she wasn't already used to being so short compared to everyone else, it might be a little unnerving. And his voice... there's something about it she can't quite place, but the warmth is all she cares about. One corner of her mouth twitches up a little higher, and she takes a seat. ]
Thanks. For letting me come. I'm sorry I keep getting so upset about everything.
[ God, but she'd not be happy if she knew he'd read her file. Too much exposure. Too much vulnerability. ]
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[She's young. And surprisingly tiny.]
In my opinion it's better to feel than not. Once you stop feeling, you've lost a part of yourself. It'll help to not get quite as upset, but don't stop altogether. I mean that.
[There's a beat, and then he's resting a hand on her shoulder. "Living doll" or not, she still seems human enough that things like touch should translate and comfort. Or so he hopes.]
Besides. I've known people who when they got upset could tear a hole in a space station. I'm not too worried about this.
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What he says wins a smile, at least, though still a sad one, and she huffs out a little sigh at the hand on her shoulder. Comfort - being comforted - is still very, very new for her. It's strange but soothing at the same time. ]
... thanks, Garrus. I'll try. [ A beat, and she gives him a kind of curious look. ] ... you really know people who could tear holes in space stations?
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I know four who could. Two who would.
[After a second, he tilts his head. Talking more about them actually might be relevant, a little. Garrus' voice is fond as he continues.]
One of those two was created in a tank. This scientist wanted a perfect member of his species. Never gonna get that, no matter what you do, but he tried. Wound up making a friend of mine. Young, got emotional control issues sometimes, but fun. The other one's had a hell of a life, so sometimes in the past when she's gotten angry, she's gone a little... well. Drastic.
[Grunt and Jack, and he wouldn't trade them for anyone.]
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Xion breathes deep and tries to just listen. ]
And they're that strong, huh? [ She tilts her head back, watching Macha's strange new sky. ] Are they here?
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[He doesn't want more dragged here. It's difficult for many of their group to go from fighting Reapers who are destroying their worlds, to instead destroying them. Shepard is the perfect example of that.]
His name's Grunt. He chose it himself. Probably not the best decision he's ever made, but it's not the worst either.
[He misses the big dumb baby krogan. At least he knows that if Grunt is here, somewhere, he's having fun blowing up worlds instead of being plagued with moral dilemmas.]
Wherever he went after Selena, he's probably doing fine.
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