IC Contact - Consignment

[forgivetheinsubordination]

vakarian.garrus@cdc.org
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[forgivetheinsubordination]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

I will. I'll make sure you know I'm not dead.

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

and let me know if you need anything

painkillers. nanites. a kick in the ass. y'know, whatever.

A few hours later

[forgivetheinsubordination]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

Maybe I need you to kick your own ass. Do you actually have any sort of painkillers?

Re: A few hours later

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

not right at this exact second

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

but we have medics and i am a professional at harassing doctors, so give me like fifteen minutes and i should be able to scrounge something up

[forgivetheinsubordination]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

I'll nominate you for something. Sainthood. Do they do nominations for that?

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

how the fuck would i know

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

brb, going to harass a doctor

or whatever this anders guy is anyway

[forgivetheinsubordination]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

Mage. Healer. He actually does magic. I can't really explain it. But I've seen enough that I'll call it that now.

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

okay, cool, i really don't care what kind of bullshit sparklemotion he can do so long as he can pull a bottle of morphine out of a hat

[forgivetheinsubordination]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

I don't know what all Medical has at the moment. Don't push too hard, yeah?

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

don't worry, vakarian, i'll be professional and discreet

[forgivetheinsubordination]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

Somehow I'm not comforted by that.

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

i'm sure i have no idea what you mean

as an alliance officer i always conduct myself as befits my rank and station

something something dignity and respect etc etc

[forgivetheinsubordination]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

How many times have you stolen the Normandy now?

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

does the time i stole it from cerberus count

[forgivetheinsubordination]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

Half-points, since you weren't exactly acting as an alliance officer while working with them.

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

so then it's only 1.5 times that i stole the ship

that's practically respectable

[forgivetheinsubordination]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

You keep telling yourself that.

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

Gonna rest my eyes. Let me know if anything pans out. Or if Anders sets you on fire. Either way.

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

like i haven't been threatened with that before.

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

rest up, lazyass. i'll ping you when i'm heading your way.

[forgivetheinsubordination]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

That's me. Garrus Lazyass Vakarian. Later, Joker.

later than expected, because he stopped at Tali's first

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

wake up, officer lazyass

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

i'm on my way and i'm not gonna wait around while you get your beauty sleep

[forgivetheinsubordination]

[The buzz of his blackglass wakes him up, and Garrus stares blearily at it for several moments before not just figuring out what the notif means, but what the words mean as well. Stiffly, slowly, he gets out of bed and heads to the door, figuring that by the time he's there and has it open, Joker will probably be there.]

FROM: vakarian.garrus@cdc.org

Copy that. Besides. I get any more beautiful I'm gonna start having problems finding time to sleep.

[boneitis]

FROM: moreau.jeffrey@cdc.org

garrus, i don't think that word means what you think it means


[When he gets there, he bangs on the door, just in case Garrus isn't actually up yet. With what he's gone through, he wouldn't blame him for just passing out at every opportunity.]

[Cavalry's here, Space Batman.]

[forgivetheinsubordination]

[Looks like his timing had been just about right. Garrus opens the door a split-second after the knock.]

You trying to tell me the scars aren't doing anything for you?

[Most of his weight is on the doorframe, and his voice is hoarse. Joker's seen him in poor shape before, though, so he's not too worried about his pride.]

So disappointed. But I'll let you come in anyway.

[boneitis]

[Garrus looks approximately like ten pounds of shit in a five pound bag when he answers, and Joker makes absolutely zero indication that he notices. No one wants to get called out on looking like shit.]

What, was this just one big booty call, Vakarian? Because I'm gonna have to let you down easy. I'm sorry, but I don't think of you that way-- let's just be friends.

[He steps inside, medicine box tucked up under his arm like a football, and pats Garrus consolingly on the shoulder.]

How about we get you drugged up instead.

[forgivetheinsubordination]

Getting high is a poor substitute for getting laid. But if that's all I can get...

[Garrus closes the door behind the pilot before making his way back over to his bed and taking a seat on the edge of it. As long as he can joke, he's alive. Or something like that.]

What form is it in?

[He's hoping it's pills, something easy, but with the way supplies have been he's not sure what all Medical has left.]

And thanks. Glad to see Anders didn't set you on fire.